BronzedSkin123 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 I don't have nearly as much sexual experience as my peers. And lately, my mother and father both say that I am weird because I don't have a boyfriend either. I am about to go into nursing school which will take away my entire life..and i will come out nearly 24 with even less experience. When I hear other women in my age group talk about their sexual experiences i get so jealous. i feel abnormal. Sometimes I think this good girl act is not winning me any favors and causing me to not have any fun in my 20s. maybe I should be promiscuous..so far the way I am is not really getting me anywhere Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 well i think going to the extreme isn't necessarily the way to go BUT with that said..do you date? nothing wrong with putting yourself out there and having some fun... Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted April 28, 2008 Author Share Posted April 28, 2008 no, i don't date. i have a hard time meeting people Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 is that because you are shy? busy? uninterested? have you considered online dating? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 what are you doing this weekend? hehe got any friends you can hit the town with? maybe meet a potential guy. i took a girl's virginity @ 23. i've seen her out on the town all social and more open than she was before. that was a few months after we hooked up. so it's not like you are missing out. once you do have your first experience or a few more, it won't be such a big deal. don't worry about it so much. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted April 28, 2008 Author Share Posted April 28, 2008 I am somewhat shy. But it seems that guys don't find me approachable. I don't know whether it's because they find me intimidating or what. And the men who do approach me are older and not my type. I don't know what to say to a guy if I see what i like. i do not want to consider online dating at all Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted April 28, 2008 Author Share Posted April 28, 2008 what are you doing this weekend? hehe got any friends you can hit the town with? maybe meet a potential guy. i took a girl's virginity @ 23. i've seen her out on the town all social and more open than she was before. that was a few months after we hooked up. so it's not like you are missing out. once you do have your first experience or a few more, it won't be such a big deal. don't worry about it so much. nope, i don't have any friends. i recently had a friend that told me she has jealousy issues and that is why she doesn't want to hang out with me. we might go to church, or hang out at her house occasionally. but to really have fun like the mall, movies, etc she doesn't want to go with me anywhere. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 I have never really been approached by guys either...i don't really know why but whatever...I have no problem going up and talking to a guy i might be interested in...depends on the situation...I just tend to wing it myself...sorry i can't be more helpful...i just ask them something about a sport taking place or something like that... I think (ghost can correct me if i am wrong) guys did a girl who is not afraid to make the approach... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 i have no problem with girls approaching me. but they can't be mad if i don't find them to be my type. same thing if i approach a girl. i take my chances she will like me. i could really care less if she doesn't. but it's a shot. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted April 28, 2008 Author Share Posted April 28, 2008 what should I say?? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 nope, i don't have any friends. i recently had a friend that told me she has jealousy issues and that is why she doesn't want to hang out with me. we might go to church, or hang out at her house occasionally. but to really have fun like the mall, movies, etc she doesn't want to go with me anywhere. fly solo. i've done it. make new friends. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 what should I say?? Like i said it depends on the situation...if you're cute they really won't be paying too much attention to what you are saying...make a comment on their shirt/hat/shoes...anything Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Like i said it depends on the situation...if you're cute they really won't be paying too much attention to what you are saying...make a comment on their shirt/hat/shoes...anything awww come on. i listen. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 awww come on. i listen. sure you do...while your eyes are glued to her chest or looking at her pretty hair lol Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted April 28, 2008 Author Share Posted April 28, 2008 fly solo. i've done it. make new friends. and go where by myself? I have done this for the past couple of years and it has gotten old. as for making new friends that is just not easy. women can be catty and often don't invite me into their circle. the only kind of friends i make are older women 40 and up..but as for the girls my age..no way.. Link to comment
redhearts Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 wow that your completely lucky to not be a sl**! lol i mean thats a good thing that you havent done anything Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted April 28, 2008 Author Share Posted April 28, 2008 No, I think being a good girl is just not getting me anywhere. I might as well give in and become promiscuous. I am so bored with my life, and I lack the sexual and dating experience I need to enjoy myself. I'd hate to be one of those women who have everything together academically and financially but NO MAN to share my life with. I envy women who have all the sexual experience I don't have Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 wow that your completely lucky to not be a sl**! lol i mean thats a good thing that you havent done anything I don't get what you are saying Link to comment
MD Geist Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Hey nothing is wrong with being a female and not as "experienced" as your friends and thats great. Being a guy and still a virgin at a later age sucks. I think the first thing you oughta work on is making some friends first before you try and date anyone that way you have more chances at meeting people you like. That way your confident in yourself. Link to comment
Blackbear Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Bronzed Skin I feel bad for you that your parents are not supportive of who you are. Life has something in store for you...Your Future. Believe me....there will be men in it. The most important thing to focus on right now is your education. It is so easy to get side tracked and get your dreams ripped right out from underneath you from a guy. Many many people out there can tell you..."oh I wanted to go to college and become 'this' or 'that" but it just didn't work out when the truth is.... they ended up meeting someone, choosing a different path instead like becoming pregnant, getting married and the rest is history. Don't worry about what the rest of society is doing with there lives....go for your dreams. Trust me HE will come along soon enough with his 'big dreams'! Link to comment
lila... Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Bronzedskin, wow, you really should NOT be ashamed of not having any sexual experience. It's better to not have done anything than to later regret having been promiscuous. Those kind of people probably have issues of insecurity anyway, and sooner or later they'll regret having been that way. Besides all the emotional scars it can leave you with, it's a very dangerous life to lead (think STDs and such). I do get what you're saying, though, because I have almost no experience at all either and most of my peers do...but I am not jealous, in fact I'm very proud I haven't given in so easily. Sex, in my opinion, is too special and sacred to be played around with. Who cares about what the others are doing? Now, if you are worried about wanting to date and meeting someone, like the others have adviced...put yourself out there. I can't offer you advice here as this isn't my area of expertise hehe, but I just wanted to give you my opinion about the other issue. Do not feel ashamed! Link to comment
onewithbooks Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I don't have nearly as much sexual experience as my peers. And lately, my mother and father both say that I am weird because I don't have a boyfriend either. I am about to go into nursing school which will take away my entire life..and i will come out nearly 24 with even less experience. When I hear other women in my age group talk about their sexual experiences i get so jealous. i feel abnormal. Sometimes I think this good girl act is not winning me any favors and causing me to not have any fun in my 20s. maybe I should be promiscuous..so far the way I am is not really getting me anywhere BronzedSkin, Congrats to you for putting you first and getting your education. Down the line that will be more valuable to you than promiscuity. I totally understand the wanting to be more "out there" and in a relationship and all that. When the time is right, it will happen. I am sad that your parents think this behavior is weird. Its not. There are women out there who wait. As far as meeting people to go and do things with, you will be starting a whole new area of your life soon, with a whole new set of people. Be a blank slate, and make friends with them. That could open up a whole new world for you in terms of having people to hang out with. You are not a freak or a weirdo because you dont have a lot of experience. Its ok. Allow your "selectiveness" to make you sexy. OWB Link to comment
Jadewhisper Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 No, I think being a good girl is just not getting me anywhere. I might as well give in and become promiscuous. I am so bored with my life, and I lack the sexual and dating experience I need to enjoy myself. I'd hate to be one of those women who have everything together academically and financially but NO MAN to share my life with. I envy women who have all the sexual experience I don't have That's very ashamed your parents think it's strange because you haven't really had a boyfriend or not experienced. You think they would be glad you don't have STDs, not being pregnant and anything else which would make your life difficult. I guess the question is would you become promiscuous simply because others chatter away about their personal affairs or because when you are tired of people asking you when are going to get a boyfriend? I know I would find it frustrating to have people trying to put me down. Whatever you do decide, it should a healthy decision based on you not because of others. I know I wouldn't get myself a guy just because my co-workers are chattering away about their personal stuff. I'd focus on getting more self supportive so I wouldn't have to rely on a man. Also, it would be nice to have a guy to share my life with, but if it's the wrong one, that would be miserable. You just haven't met the right guy yet. I have a friend tried to be in one of those friends with benefits thing. Five years later after the fact, she has no career; nothing going for her because she is upset with him and won't listen to anyone. She still blames him for alot of things. This is five years later. I try to encourage her but she doesn't want to listen or get better...for herself. So please, whatever you decide to do, don't be self-destructive. I think once you become more focused in your career, you will meet more guys. Guys are attracted to successful women. Link to comment
GypsyMuse Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 No, I think being a good girl is just not getting me anywhere. I might as well give in and become promiscuous. I agree with the others, promiscuity is risky and if you do it just because you feel you're not getting anywhere, it's the wrong reason. It's like stepping in front of a car because you're too impatient to wait for the WALK signal. I am so bored with my life, and I lack the sexual and dating experience I need to enjoy myself. I'd hate to be one of those women who have everything together academically and financially but NO MAN to share my life with. I envy women who have all the sexual experience I don't have. It's disturbing that you say you "need" sexual and dating experience to enjoy yourself. Those things are enjoyable but you have to learn to be happy first and then it will be enjoyable for you and your partner. If you're not happy, sex, like all social politics, will be disappointing, full of issues and unmet expectations. If you are bored, get a hobby. You're in an academic environment. Look around the community for extracurricular fun activities. I'm sure they have them. If you are not comfortable with women your age, get a male-oriented hobby. Find a hobby that is enjoyed by men and women or primarily by men. That way you will branch out, learn a few things, and meet men with common interests with whom you might click. Even if romance doesn't happen right away, you'll learn to be more comfortable and confident around men and they are likely to be more attracted to you. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I could never imagine telling my daughter who is near your age that i thought she was weird for having lack of sexual experience. I think your parents have far more problems than you do. Link to comment
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