Day by Day Let us all know!

[Keyman]

I was having such a good day today... Then I went to check my post office box. Before I asked for NC I leant her some dvds and on the day I asked for NC I told her to mail them back when she was finished. Well I got them back today with a note...

 

Hi Sweetness

Thank you so much for lending me these dvds - I can't tell you how much it meant to me - such a warm and generous gesture fronm you to me.

I wish you so much love and happiness.

Love always xxx

 

Now I feel like I am back to square one again and feeling very angry that I lent them to her and wish she hadn't left a note. I know it's over and we can't go back, but I'm not ready to accept her being happy that it's all over and wishing me much love for the future. God I never want to hear from her again.

[qwerty1984]

day 4....seeing him tomorrow to clarify as the actual break up was all a bit of a rush...i have a million questions - which i wrote down, and am tempted to write them individually on post it notes around his house while i pack up my stuff....just so he gets the idea.....

 

i'm going insane!

[JimmerJammer]

Long day yesterday, so I was quite exhausted by the time I got back from working and hitting the gym. I ended up having my buddy over last night to hang out and catch up for a bit. Then today spent some more time with therapy, looks like Tuesdays will be my regular days for it. I was suggested to keep a journal or to write down how I'm feeling and all that, daily. I figured I would use this site to accomplish just that.

 

I ended up discovering some of the ways in which people can give away power in a relationship or how daily stresses manage to find their way into our being. I felt like I had learned quite a lot since I first started to work on myself some years back, but I didn't see how it was I was trying to take responsibility for others well-being and how there were parts of myself that would feel like my ideas are right or that others should listen to me because I know what I'm talking about. That more or less I'm starting to get a better understanding and to see the bigger picture in the ways of my strengths and the weaknesses in my boundaries. Or in other words, those parts of me that have the potential to leak out emotion or to waste resources on that which I do not control (i.e. getting mad because its raining on a day you want to go golfing, someone cancels on you, someone does something you don't like)

 

The hardest part for me isn't just to come to terms with this and understand the ways in which this happens, but more so to be able to do something about it before it gets out of hand. Being more or less able to stay on top of myself before reacting or having something enter into me and hurt me. When I thought about the ideal relationship and even brought the idea up, it seemed strange that I wouldn't want to stay true to myself to attain it. As ideally I very much want to have my life as it is when I'm independent and to be committed to someone so that there are aspects of each others lives that are shared.

[Keyman]

Day 8 of NC. Woke up depressed as hell this morning and missing her. All the way to work on the train I felt down and horrible, but sitting here at work, I've started to feel more angry about it. Apologies if this is coming out in my posts, but it is actually making me feel better about it and I'm not depressed anymore, which is more the point.

 

On a better note, I did have a girl contact me and I know she would like to go on a date. She's not my type, but I could use a friend this close to the front lines.

[allypally]

Day 1 of breakup. He left this morning and said very faintly "I love you now". He rang this evening which I didn't expect. Pure speculation, but I wonder whether the reason he rang was to tell me that he didn't want to go through with the month apart business. I need some head space as he has been doing my head in, hence my wanting to put some distance in between us. He didn't text me or anything, so he wants to talk.

 

Feel more relieved already that I don't have to be "responsible" for him now.

[kuiks8]

Signed my separation papers in front of the lawyer today...its official. I thought i would be really sad but in truth i am kind of relieved. I feel like the next part of my life is about to begin!!! feels good!

[brian123]

Saw some old mutual friends today. Told me how they ran into her and she told them "we were doing our own thing". Driving home, I saw her car at the gym. Makes me miss her more knowing how good I am sure she is looking. Am trying to do total NC but much of me still misses her. I need to stop holding out any hope. I wish I could just cut EVERYTHING that reminded me of her and have her totally be gone from my life.

[chrissykissy83]

Hmmm I think I saw my exs mum pass my shop today, she was looking the other way though, probably because she knows what her son did.

I think if i do see him again i'll slap him around the face,he gets nose bleeds easily if you just touch his nose, so i'll accidently hit that too.lol.

Im just hoping i'll meet someone nice soon

[Keyman]

Hmmm I think I saw my exs mum pass my shop today, she was looking the other way though, probably because she knows what her son did.

I think if i do see him again i'll slap him around the face,he gets nose bleeds easily if you just touch his nose, so i'll accidently hit that too.lol.

Im just hoping i'll meet someone nice soon

 

Violence isn't the answer Chrissykissy. It'll just get you into trouble.

 

And going by the lovely photo, you shouldn;t have any trouble meeting someone new. Good luck.

[Bob3000]

14 days since we broke up (well, it will be by the end of the day).

9 days since I last saw her (as above).

8 days of strict no contact (in a few hours).

 

Had a lousy dream about her last night (which is why I'm up at 5:30). It ended with me screaming over and over and over (in the dream, that is). I feel quite shaken by it.

 

I'm desperate to do something to get her back. I've bought a couple of ebooks on the subject, but helpfully they contradict one another! For example, one says no contact for as long as it takes, the other says 21 days. While 21 days sounds better than (potentially) forever, I'm not sure I can implement one other crucial part of their strategy. I guess I'll see what happens...

 

I bumped into a single, female friend of mine yesterday. We keep promising to catch up but never do. But this time we arranged to go for dinner. I'm sure it's not a date, and I don't want it to be! She is very attractive, but not "my type" (whatever that means.) And I'm not ready to date yet anyway. But it'll be an opportunity to show myself off in my best light, which is what I'll need to be able to do to if I want to get my ex back.

 

Still oscillate between feeling quite positive and being in the depths of despair. I still can't believe she broke up with me. I still can't believe she hasn't called since.

 

I hate this.

[Panda2008]

We broke up 18 April, been in LC since....

 

This morning I had a terrible nightmare about my friend and my ex (sure you can guess what that involved!). I have had bad dreams/waking up too early every single night since a week after the split. I am TIRED.

 

I am due to see my ex later today - he is coming to get some more stuff from the flat. Last time we spoke (a week ago) I was in a state. Tonight I am planning to tell him I think he made the right decision, at least for now. And also telling him that as I don't want him to move back in, he may as well make arrangements to pick up the rest of his stuff.

 

We broke up before, 3 years ago, and it was only when I dumped bin bags of his stuff on his mum's doorstep that he decided to come back. I don't think that will happen this time, we are too far down the line, but I definitely need to take back some control of the situation.

[allypally]

Day 2 Not sure reading everyone's posts is making me feel any better or not. Reading about break ups from every possible angle. Still wondering what my ex had to say and pondering that he doesn't want to do a month break from eachother. TBH, I think we may aswell go our separate ways as due to his take, take, take nature, to me it wasn't a meaningful relationship. Of course he was happy with me because I made it so nice for him. Last Saturday he paid off the mortgage on his house and on the Sunday he had just bought a brand new SLR camera. I never saw him wanting to treat me to anything though so it was all about buying himself presents. I found it difficult to gauge who he really was. As I am sure some of you have suggested, he will just jump into the next relationship with a person willing to be his caretaker.

[allypally]

Cont'd .... I reckon I'm ready to start dating other people. I am sure he will want to make himself feel good by seeing what else is out there at the approaching bank holiday weekend away with the guys where there will be loads of surfer babes with bare midriffs - he always said how he liked that look, a look I never had because I don't have a golden tan and I'm curvaceous not skinny.

 

Also got a riding lesson booked for this evening, therapy on Monday, meeting up with a friend on Sat evening, and moving house to keep me busy.

[onmyownagain]

Day 128, Not the same as the very beginning but still off, still after 15 years I guess it will take a bit longer yet, still not ready to have another relationship.

[Dioufy]

Day 1.

 

I know I am just starting but I feel okay with no contact since last night I think. All my mates know what's going on and have been wonderful towards me. I have been inundated with offers to do things, and I might take them up on it. I think it's best to have a best mate at a time like this who really cares for you - I didn't realise it till now but a girl who cares about me a lot is really helping me so much. I owe her so much because at 2am she came on MSN and chatted to me till 8am and then I met her and we walked to college. And she gave me a really big hug and said she was sorry.

 

I didn't realise it till now but there are so many nice girls out there who really care about other people. Last night I thought she was perfection but I couldn't have been wronger until today. I am starting to get better.

[Landon]

I finally told my ex kinda how i feel, its been a week since the breakup and just told her that i am in pain, that i hate not seeing my son everyday its so painfull.. then i kinda starting getting into about our relationship. saying that she deserves someone so good, she finally told me she notices that im changing, i put the ball in her court and now im giving it time, there will be no begging her back because i know that will most likley push her further away.. i just want her back so bad.. i guess its a waiting game now??? how should i act towards her when she calls?

[Dioufy]

I have just realised what type of girl my ex-girlfriend is. I have just come on MSN and she has blocked me for no reason. I mean it's bad enough that she split up with but I always thought that when I am over her we could perhaps be mates - it's what she said she wanted. And yet again, she didn't get her own way so she blocked me, and I think it's because I wanted to go no contact. I mean I wouldn't have contacted her and she wouldn't have contacted me but it's nice to know that she would be around in the future. It just seems to cold-hearted and careless on her part.

 

I regret giving so much up for her because she is one of the most selfish people I have ever met. If she doesn't get her way she takes her ball own so to speak. I now know that I am better off without 'that' girl in my life.

[hamsalad]

I just realized something. If your STBX states that they want "space"...tell them NASA is probably hiring.

[Landon]

thats funny * * * * man..lol

[chrissykissy83]

Had a good day at work,did loads of things i've been needing to do for weeks.

I'm going out saturday night and then im going on a big beach party thing pn may 31st, so things are looking up

Plus now when i think of my ex i dont feel anything.

[Landon]

i am so happy for you chrissy, that is awsome.. congrats

[Keyman]

Had a good day at work,did loads of things i've been needing to do for weeks.

I'm going out saturday night and then im going on a big beach party thing pn may 31st, so things are looking up

Plus now when i think of my ex i dont feel anything.

 

Doesn't moving on without them feel great? Congrats!

[Keyman]

Dude, it's actually probably a good thing that she did. I know that while I said I would have no contact with a previous ex, if I saw her online, I would always be tempted to contact her. Out of sight out of mind is great, but when you see them it's too easy to fall off the NC wagon.

 

Good to see you processing the facts and you are right, you are better off.

[dream83]

Day 9: he's still doing little things to keep me in his life; signing in on AIM to talk to me, emailing, etc. I gave in and talked to him today and felt miserable. We had another argument over his selfish behavior. I don't know why I go along with his little game. I know that he won't change and that I'm probably better off without him...and that there's a guy out there who will treat me with all the love and respect I deserve...but somehow I forget, and maybe I even maintain a glimmer hope that maybe he'll come around and it won't be too late. But, at the same time, he treated me with no respect for as long as he did, and that reason is enough for me not to want to take him back. I won't put up with any guy's crap. It's just hard feeling so lonely while going through this process.

[Keyman]

Day 9 of NC and I'm actually feeling good. Tomorrow will mark the longest time I have had NC from her during our relationship and I'm well on my way to the 30 day milestone I've set. I feel good. I did think about her briefly this morning, but it was easy to put her out of my mind.

 

I've had a crush on this girl who work at the coffeeshop accross from work for some time and yesterday one of my workmates made a joke to her about it which was met rather favourably. We don't have a date or anything, but the idea that she likes me is settling my stormy emotions over the break up. I'm not wanting to leapt right back into the saddle, so to speak, but it's helping and even a kind word or smile from her today will keep that going.

 

I also get a strange sense that I will be running into the ex today, I hope this isn't the case...