Day by Day Let us all know!

[jfire35s]

Today was ok.

 

My ex and I have been broken up for a month and a half with LC. We recently met up and she told me that this new guy has asked her to be his gf and she told me that she was going to be his gf....simply for the fact that she would try and get over me. yesterday i get a 3 page text that was "meant" for her friend but I got it instead that said that she couldnt be this guys gf, im her life, she still loves me, and doesnt know if she should try and move on with this guy or fix things with me. I didnt respond, and then today I get a missed call from her but she doesnt leave a voicemail. All this time I have done NC. It seems to be working because she is trying to contact me and make sure im still waiting for her to make her choice....but at the same time I want to call her and just let her be real with me about what she wants...no matter if it hurts the heart. Its tough...but im getting through it. Everyone says she will come back....no matter how great she says this new guy is. We were together for about nine months and lived together for seven. We've never lived with anyother bf/gf....so we definitely know everything about each other. And I know she cant just move to another guy in just a month....she even said that being with him makes her feel guilty...but she still goes back to it. I dont get it.

 

We only broke up cuz we are 21 years old and were moving too fast...finance wise and had to take a step back and re-analyize our situation. No one cheated or abused anyone. So it wasnt a bad break-up.

 

Another day begins NC....

[JimmerJammer]

Looking back at some of my recent posts, I now see how my thoughts get portrayed sometimes. I didn't realize how when something gets to me, that I really show it and sometimes take it way out of proportion. I had no idea to what extent until I went back and looked at my posts. Heck I know that in my head I'm not wrong about what I'm saying, but I realize there's no need to say it like I do. I think that's what others have been referring to when they say I'm too intense. I don't know why I didn't really notice it before. The only thing now is to keep this as an example to give when I see my psychiatrist tomorrow.

 

I wronged my ex and she wronged me. The only true thing I can hope for is a clean slate. As I said, I'll continue down the path of recovery and testing the waters with my life to realize my full potential and despite what happened it would be nice if she wished me a happy birthday. Not that it will mean much in the way of getting back together, but it would demonstrate to me at least a step. As angry as I am and upset I am over it being over, I'm not a hateful person. Life's too short for that. My psychiatrist gave me some upbeat news in that he recognized my goals and feels that going regularly to sessions until the end of summer will be the right amount of time for me to address this problem. I'm not going to get my hopes up between me and the ex because it's not up to me, but I will keep an open mind about things and I'll leave it in her hands.

[chrissykissy83]

ugh i hate to say im feeling quite lonely and missing him today, wondering where he is and what hes doing. sucks.dammit.

[Landon]

i guess im back at day one, it sure doesnt hurt like 3 weeks ago when she broke up with me.. After she got out of school, she went to her friends house while i had our son, she didnt call me for 2 hours, i was pretty upset. so i dropped him off to her and then went to my friends house, she doesnt like me over there because she thinks he's a bad influence on me and she thought i messed around with his neighbor. anyways she showed up over there and broke up with me again. she had been drinking and she is a totally different person when she's like that.. If any one has advice i would appreciate it..

[barbielovesmac]

i guess im back at day one, it sure doesnt hurt like 3 weeks ago when she broke up with me.. After she got out of school, she went to her friends house while i had our son, she didnt call me for 2 hours, i was pretty upset. so i dropped him off to her and then went to my friends house, she doesnt like me over there because she thinks he's a bad influence on me and she thought i messed around with his neighbor. anyways she showed up over there and broke up with me again. she had been drinking and she is a totally different person when she's like that.. If any one has advice i would appreciate it..

 

You guys broke up again?

[Landon]

ya isnt that something, when she drinks she is such a biotch.. what do you think about what happened? * * * * ked up right

[barbielovesmac]

ya isnt that something, when she drinks she is such a biotch.. what do you think about what happened? * * * * ked up right

 

Yeah, you don't need somene like that in your life. I think it's best that you two broke up and I also think it's best that it stay that way. It sounds like your relationship was nothing but a dramatic rollercoaster. She sounds very immature. She is a mother ... she shouldn't be drinking like that if it makes her act stupid.

[metrogirl]

Yeah, you don't need somene like that in your life. I think it's best that you two broke up and I also think it's best that it stay that way. It sounds like your relationship was nothing but a dramatic rollercoaster. She sounds very immature. She is a mother ... she shouldn't be drinking like that if it makes her act stupid.

 

My point exactly......Why is she drinking and carrying on like a common party girl. She's a mother, she should really act like one.

[Landon]

thats exactly the way i feel, dont get me wrong she is a GREAT mother, but sometimes i feel that she owes her self something for being so responsible. She does not need to drink it brings out a totally different person and thats not the person i fell in love with.

[barbielovesmac]

thats exactly the way i feel, dont get me wrong she is a GREAT mother, but sometimes i feel that she owes her self something for being so responsible. She does not need to drink it brings out a totally different person and thats not the person i fell in love with.

 

She'll always be the mother of your child, but I think it's time to mooooove along your own path you know?

[metrogirl]

thats exactly the way i feel, dont get me wrong she is a GREAT mother, but sometimes i feel that she owes her self something for being so responsible. She does not need to drink it brings out a totally different person and thats not the person i fell in love with.

 

Owes herself something for being responsible?

 

What she owes herself is the fact that she has a baby that needs a sober non-partying mother.

 

I had my first baby at 15 and by the age of 22 I had already had 4 kids. I didn't owe myself anything and I was the most responsible parent I could be.

 

Don't use that as an excuse......She needs to be taking care of business.

[Landon]

ya i know exactly what your saying its just really hard. I keep on placing blame on myself when i shouldnt. I think that if i didnt go to my friends we would still be together but in reality she's the one who messed up by not calling me after work and going to her friends and drinking.

[Landon]

i want to go to her school and put a note on her car saying:

 

" sucks it had to end like this, i will always love you"

 

should i? i dont think so

[barbielovesmac]

i want to go to her school and put a note on her car saying:

 

" sucks it had to end like this, i will always love you"

 

should i? i dont think so

 

honestly, no. i don't think you should do that.

 

if you do that, then you will be feeding a never ending cycle.

[Landon]

ya your right, im just so confused, she even seen that i was changing my ways. I was willing to do anything to make us work. I just should of told her that we both need to change not just me. it takes two to make a relationship work. i cant do it by myself.

[metrogirl]

ya your right, im just so confused, she even seen that i was changing my ways. I was willing to do anything to make us work. I just should of told her that we both need to change not just me. it takes two to make a relationship work. i cant do it by myself.

 

and you are right......she has to be just as willing to commit to the relationship. If it is all one sided, then it is doomed to fail.

[barbielovesmac]

ya your right, im just so confused, she even seen that i was changing my ways. I was willing to do anything to make us work. I just should of told her that we both need to change not just me. it takes two to make a relationship work. i cant do it by myself.

 

you're right it most certainly takes TWO.

when one isn't willing to put the work in then BYE BYE.

 

like i said, she'll always be apart of your life because of your baby. but i think it's best for both you two and your baby that you don't try and be together romantically.

[Landon]

your right but why is it so hard to hear that?

[barbielovesmac]

your right but why is it so hard to hear that?

 

It's never easy to hear that. The things we don't want or don't want to hear are usually the best things for us and it time you will see that. Look at me, I am going through a breakup too. The things that were so hard to hear and see THEN are NOW the things that are better for me. It will take time to realize that you are better off, but once you get your life back on track you will see. It'll all get better in time. I don't know how many times I have said that on this site, but I say it because it's true. People told me the same things I am telling you and I didn't believe it either ... but they are right. It'll all get better in time.

You deserve to be happy. Sure, you may really love her and it's going to hurt but for your own well being you just have to do it.

You'll learn to love again. You'll be okay.

[Landon]

Thanks so much, i really dont know where i would be with out ena and people like you that really help me get through things.. I really appreciate all you help. you seem like such a great person thanks again sweetie.

[barbielovesmac]

Thanks so much, i really dont know where i would be with out ena and people like you that really help me get through things.. I really appreciate all you help. you seem like such a great person thanks again sweetie.

 

You're most welcome

I just know how it feels. I was a wreck two months ago. But as time goes on, day by day, im getting better. I did it with ENA too. Sure you can do it all on your own, but sometimes you need a little encouragment along the way you know?

I hope you stay strong.

[Landon]

I have to stay strong, if i take her back again its going to be the same exact thing. Its like i have to be carefull of everything i say and do cause im scared of her breaking up with me. thats not the life i want to live, and not the life i need. I deserve to be happy. She will need to change and show me she changed before anything can ever happen again, and to be honest im not quite sure she's willing to even try. we will have to see

[barbielovesmac]

I have to stay strong, if i take her back again its going to be the same exact thing. Its like i have to be carefull of everything i say and do cause im scared of her breaking up with me. thats not the life i want to live, and not the life i need. I deserve to be happy. She will need to change and show me she changed before anything can ever happen again, and to be honest im not quite sure she's willing to even try. we will have to see

 

It's almost always the same when you get back with an EX. No matter how hard to try to make it a clean slate, it never is. It's the same things over and over. Just like I said, a never ending cycle.

In relationships you shouldn't have to watch your back like that. You said it yourself, you don't to live a life like that ... so don't. Who does right?

Now, I don't know her but I don't see her changing. If she didn't grow and mature for the sake of her child then I don't see it happening anytime soon if ever at all. Some people just don't change and when they do it has to come from within ... you cannot change somene. I have learned that.

[Landon]

ya i know, she's just going to have to see that i dont need her as much as she thinks because she has me wrapped around her damn finger. thats going to change, i know its going to be hard but thats the only way.

[barbielovesmac]

ya i know, she's just going to have to see that i dont need her as much as she thinks because she has me wrapped around her damn finger. thats going to change, i know its going to be hard but thats the only way.

 

you should never need ANYONE only WANT them.