Yes, they are sleeping together - So what?

[EyesOnThePrize]

Look i aint going to be ready for serious dating for at least a year which is a real * * * * due to her messing up my head,while she cracks on merrily with her new one as if nothing has happened...Thats why life aint fair.

 

In 3 months or 6 months, you may find her thinking the same thing.

[nic2463]

The woman I dated before my ex was a single mom with 3 kids (I went through a big 'single mom' phase...yay for being a rescuer!) and we were together about 6 or 7 months. She was separated, her husband was a total loser (later died of drug problems). The whole time, I was getting close to her kids, and frankly wanted to ask her to marry me. However, she was never totally detached from her ex, and dumped me for him. That one really hurt. She wanted him, when I had a lot more going for me. In the long run, I'm glad it didn't work out...she was not the right woman for me.

 

Sorry about your story,i was with mine 6 years so you can imagine the attachment i had to her kids and she just cut me dead,

[nic2463]

In 3 months or 6 months, you may find her thinking the same thing.

 

Fair point thanks.I know your story from the threads and think you handled your situation incredibly well while getting your heart shredded.

 

Your around the same age as me and the thought oof starting again does my head in.

[Litgirl01]

It can be daunting nick...but there are lots of nice ladies out there!! Maybe you will find someone that you couldn't imagine being without!!!! ;-) Then you will thank your ex for letting you go so you could find her!

[nic2463]

It can be daunting nick...but there are lots of nice ladies out there!! Maybe you will find someone that you couldn't imagine being without!!!! ;-) Then you will thank your ex for letting you go so you could find her!

 

Thanks hun,hope i feel like that some time,just feel at the mo that i had the best thing ever taken from me.

[Litgirl01]

I know how you feel! The worst place in the world to be...heartbroken! And the last thing you want to think about is someone else! You will though...! xx

 

((hugs))

[nic2463]

Never thought of it as heartbroken just gutted.I lost it on the phone to her a few weeks ago when he said something in the background and every night since i have dreamed about her or woken with thoughts of her.I cant believe how much it can effect your daily life.

[Litgirl01]

Definitely! It gets better though...it has for me! I find myself just having so many questions. I moved to England (he is English) to be with my ex and he decided he didn't want the commitment! OUCH! Now I am back in the States trying to pick up all the pieces! It has been so hard!! Sometimes I would hear his voice in my sleep...I would wake in tears! Now it seems that I have dreams with him...but he is fading!

[nic2463]

Definitely! It gets better though...it has for me! I find myself just having so many questions. I moved to England (he is English) to be with my ex and he decided he didn't want the commitment! OUCH! Now I am back in the States trying to pick up all the pieces! It has been so hard!! Sometimes I would hear his voice in my sleep...I would wake in tears! Now it seems that I have dreams with him...but he is fading!

 

God nightmare story.All that sorts it is time which dampens the raw nerves

[Litgirl01]

I'm stronger than I thought I would be nick!! It was a nightmare though! xx

[nickbroken]

We are all stronger then we think are, it just takes things like this to show us really how strong we are.

[Litgirl01]

I guess it's true...what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

[coco3]

So I got this email today which was basically a link to a youtube video of a music artist my STBX linked, the email address I didn't recognize, but the body of the email was signed with his name (like if his name was joesph g-which it's not). The part that freaked me out was that the name that appeared next to the email address was two first names, (like if it said Joe & Amy) So I got freaked out, I didn't know what it meant-What DOES that mean anyway?

 

But then after thinking about it I don't care. If he's already sleeping with someone else, I really don't care. I know for sure I will never sleep with him again. And I actually feel sorry for anyone he gets involved with, because he is a mess.

[EyesOnThePrize]

Fair point thanks.I know your story from the threads and think you handled your situation incredibly well while getting your heart shredded.

 

Your around the same age as me and the thought oof starting again does my head in.

 

Thanks, nic. My heart is still in the hospital, although I guess its not in intensive care anymore. Its more in recovery therapy. I think part of my initial hit was also the "Geez, I'm 46 and have to start from scratch!?" Well, yeah, I'm 46 and have to start from scratch, assuming I don't get back together with the ex, and even there, its going to be from almost scratch...we have a lot of work to do.

 

I really do credit my new way of thinking to helping me get through this. I just keep reminding myself "all people make sense all the time" and if I validate them, I think I better understand why they did/are doing what they did/are doing, and that keeps me out of anger and is helping me develop much more empathy. I think I've still got a long way to go, and as long as I keep moving forward each day, I think its a good thing.

[EyesOnThePrize]

 

But then after thinking about it I don't care. If he's already sleeping with someone else, I really don't care. I know for sure I will never sleep with him again. And I actually feel sorry for anyone he gets involved with, because he is a mess.

 

I think that sometimes about my ex....now, for slimeball I have no sympathy, but anyone after him, maybe a little bit. And without patting myself on the back too much, I think "Does she really think she's going to find someone as tolerant as I was? Especially now that I'm moving forward on my knowledge?"

 

Maybe she'll figure it out one day.

[Litgirl01]

So I got this email today which was basically a link to a youtube video of a music artist my STBX linked, the email address I didn't recognize, but the body of the email was signed with his name (like if his name was joesph g-which it's not). The part that freaked me out was that the name that appeared next to the email address was two first names, (like if it said Joe & Amy) So I got freaked out, I didn't know what it meant-What DOES that mean anyway?

 

But then after thinking about it I don't care. If he's already sleeping with someone else, I really don't care. I know for sure I will never sleep with him again. And I actually feel sorry for anyone he gets involved with, because he is a mess.

 

Isn't that the name of the person/people who the email came from?? I'm not sure what you mean???

[coco3]

I think that sometimes about my ex....now, for slimeball I have no sympathy, but anyone after him, maybe a little bit. And without patting myself on the back too much, I think "Does she really think she's going to find someone as tolerant as I was? Especially now that I'm moving forward on my knowledge?"

 

Maybe she'll figure it out one day.

 

Maybe...by then it will be too late. We'll be happy living our lives without them, maybe even with someone else that treats us even better!

 

Isn't that the name of the person/people who the email came from?? I'm not sure what you mean???

 

I meant the email seemed as if it was a new account that my STBX opened, but the name how it appeared (here's an example: like for me "Coco T. coco3@enotalone.com"

This email said "STBX & Amy clueless@buttwipe.com" and the body of the email was signed by his full name. I'm not sure if it was an accident or he did it on purpose to let me know that he's found a girlfriend?!?!?

 

But like I said, I got freaked out this morning for a couple of hours, but I've actually decided I don't care. Not caring feels much better than what I've been feeling lately.

[Litgirl01]

Coco -If he was trying to flaunt that....how much more insensitive to you can he POSSIBLY BE??? Lord!!! I feel for ya!! ((hugs))

[thejigsup]

While I have sympathy for those who are hurt,(I have been dumped before) I feel creepy thinking that if I broke up with my bf he would be obsessing on a message board about who I am sleeping with. Pllease, let people do what they will and you do likewise. When you break up with someone or they with you, you do not have the right to judge them.

[Lana0120]

Wow, you're a real romantic taz. Much better perspective on sex.

[nic2463]

While I have sympathy for those who are hurt,(I have been dumped before) I feel creepy thinking that if I broke up with my bf he would be obsessing on a message board about who I am sleeping with. Pllease, let people do what they will and you do likewise. When you break up with someone or they with you, you do not have the right to judge them.

 

Get real..Of course you can judge them by there actions,thats how people are judged.

[tazthecat]

While I have sympathy for those who are hurt,(I have been dumped before) I feel creepy thinking that if I broke up with my bf he would be obsessing on a message board about who I am sleeping with. Pllease, let people do what they will and you do likewise. When you break up with someone or they with you, you do not have the right to judge them.

 

 

Umm, whats more creepy? Thinking that if you broke up with a boyfriend, he'd be here obsessing about a topic about who you're sleeping with, or actually adding to this post about above statement?

And man, if people weren't judged by their actions, my hair stylist might be a homicidal maniac.

[nickbroken]

Eh people will obsess over who their ex is sleeping with regardless if it's on a message board or with their friends....the beauty of the message board is a lot of people here understand because they have or are going through the same thing. I mean do you think any of us really want to think about that? No we don't if we could we would turn it off through it away and never think of it again, but the human mind,heart, and soul don't work that way.

[Mustang]

My ex told me he was leaving me because he had to go on a spiritual journey, and I was deeply hurt, but you can imagine how I felt when his friend told me over dinner with me one night, "You know he's involved with *blank*, right?"

 

I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and sob.

 

Similar thing happened to me. My ex dumped me because of my paranoia about her and a guy at her uni. There were photos of them holding hands on Facebook. Anyway, she saw this as the "final straw" and dumped me.

 

A month later, she goes to stay with him for new year and tells me. Although she doesn't mention him. On her birthday, I went on her Facebook page to wish her well and one of her friends said: "Have a great birthday! I hope the boyfriend spoils you rotten". To go from me to him in only a month... It took us three months of seeing each other before we became "official". What's so special about this guy that makes them become boyfriend and girlfriend straight away?

 

Makes me feel AWFUL.

[EyesOnThePrize]

It took my ex less than a month to go from first date to boyfriend. To me, its sad...I know that she's happy with him right now, and she's not dealing with her issues, and almost certainly it will come back to bite her in the butt.