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I am 28 and still a virgin. Am I too old to date a younger female, say aged 20+?

Tom1234

By Tom1234
in Age Gap Relationships

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Tom1234 Newbie

Tom1234

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Hi, I am a 28 year old virgin male and am a mature student at University.

I have never had any girlfriends before and I am still a sexual virgin! I'll be 29 in July.

I was wondering whether I am too old to date a younger woman, aged 20 or 22 years old, for example.

Bearing in mind my age, do you think that I am too old to be socialising in nightclubs and bars?

What should I be doing at my age?

I am only 28, yet other people's reaction to my age makes me feel old, like I am past my best and ready for the scrap heap!

People seem to think that a healthy sex life ends once you reach 30, but I am sure that it does not!

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Crazyaboutdogs Proficient

Crazyaboutdogs

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Well, I hardly doubt that a healthy sex life ends at 30...look at all these 55+ Hollywood actors hooking up with actresses 20 years their junior and making babies with them!! Lots of 20-22 year olds end up going out with men who are even 30+ so I don't think you have to worry about that. I also think that plenty of men in their late 20's go to clubs. You are definitely not old so just relax and be yourself.

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Tom1234 Newbie

Tom1234

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'Why specify younger females'? Well, I am at University surrounded my mostly younger women (us mature students are in the minority), and I am still a virgin, so I want to catch-up on what I have been missing-out on for most of my 20's. Age does'nt matter, but I do find younger women to be more attractive.

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CandyKins Explorer

CandyKins

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Seems fine to me, unless you're making the age such a big issue and can't ignore it then I suggest you socialize people your OWN age.

 

As Snoopy24 asked, why 20-22? Leave out the age aspect and accept someone who is right for you.

 

You don't like their reaction when you tell an individual your age... well well well, you can always tell a white lie. But keeping it playful and sweet.

 

Healthy sex ends at 30? Tch, that's not true.

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hear_her_roar Enthusiast

hear_her_roar

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I most definitely don't think you're too old for the dating scene, however, I don't think that your being a virgin should steer you towards dating younger women. Looking for someone younger than you simply on the basis of experience might not be the greatest idea, not only because that's not how love works, but because it really narrows your choices within the dating field. I'm a true believer that age doesn't matter when it comes to love (within certain limitations, of course), and the same goes for virginity. So you're not experienced? No big deal! You're never too old to learn and if you find a chick you really click with, you can cross the virginity bridge when you come to it.

As for older men losing their sex drives... my boyfriend is only two years younger than you, and believe me, that is not the case. And as for all of the older couples I know? Let's just say they're doing fine, as well. Sex drives can often be attributed to certain states of mind, and as long as you believe that you're doing fine, you will be.

Best of luck!

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Tom1234 Newbie

Tom1234

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Well, as you know, I am a 28 year old mature student at University. Some of the typical 18-22 year old students there know how old I am and they do'nt take too kindly to it; I get called a 'perv' or 'pervert', for example! There are guys there who are older than me- in their early 30's, even. I am 28, not 58, so I see nothing wrong with dating a younger female aged 20 or 22, for example. After all, a 20 year old is well and truly an adult. I certainly would not date anyone younger than 20 (say 18 or 19), for obvious maturity reasons.I might be 28 and more mentally mature, but there's no reason why I still can not go out and enjoy myself. I am not ready to settle down with a family just yet!

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ladyblue07 Rookie

ladyblue07

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I recommend that you try to find opportunities to socialize women your own age (like trying to meet ladies your age through online dating for example). Since, right or wrong, there are a lot of young girls who would rule out someone your age just because of the age gap, I think you might run into some social awkwardness and disappointment if you make your focus trying to date younger girls just because they're the easiest ones to meet due to school. When I was 20, I would have viewed a 28 year old as being too old for me (although 30 is not too old to have fun, when you're barely into your 20s, it seems like a whole different world to be approaching 30). Plus 20-22 is still kind of young as far as maturity goes, so it might be hard to keep a relationship going with someone that age who is still trying to figure herself out.

It sounds like you hope that if you meet another virgin it will make sex (whenever you end up doing it) go more smoothly. However, no matter what, having sex for the first time is likely to be kind of awkward, and I think it would be doubly awkward for two virgins. You might actually be better off if you can find a mature lady who has some experience herself and will know what to do if things don't go quite as planned. ;-)

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  • 1 month later...
ManAbout Newbie

ManAbout

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Well, as you know, I am a 28 year old mature student at University. Some of the typical 18-22 year old students there know how old I am and they do'nt take too kindly to it; I get called a 'perv' or 'pervert', for example! There are guys there who are older than me- in their early 30's, even. I am 28, not 58, so I see nothing wrong with dating a younger female aged 20 or 22, for example. After all, a 20 year old is well and truly an adult. I certainly would not date anyone younger than 20 (say 18 or 19), for obvious maturity reasons.I might be 28 and more mentally mature, but there's no reason why I still can not go out and enjoy myself. I am not ready to settle down with a family just yet!

 

Here is the thing you gotta know about women, if the dont like you, they will find reasons to reject you. Since you are a bit older, that is the easiest thing for someone to use to reject you and call you a "perv" etc. The problem is not your age, but how you approach them or something about your personality that is putting them off. If a girl, really likes a man, she will find any reason to be with him, even if he is 30 or 35.. At 28, you are hardly too old to date these girls in the 20-22 range. You are just too inexperienced maybe and that is making you come accross as "creepy". How do you dress? How do you carry yourself? You need to work on yourself. Learn how to approach women, how to talk to them. Find some interesting hobbies etc..

 

It is not about your age at all, even though there are some immature women who may reject you because of it. There are many who will not find it a problem.

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  • 8 months later...
leo73 Apprentice

leo73

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There is another sub-level question that I am sensing here. "Would they want to have sex with an older Virgin?" Usually, one of the attractive features of an older man is his experience in the bedroom and the maturity of the relationship in general. But what if the older man was also a virgin? This is a puzzling question.

 

Go for it Tom...I mean what do you have to lose (besides your virginity)?

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leo73 Apprentice

leo73

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dude, check my post! you are just fine!!!! woman are much more mature than men!! so, dont worry! try and see where it goes... you being a virgin is so sweet and i respect that.... so dont worry!

 

More mature?.....I respectfully but adamantly disagree!

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hear_her_roar Enthusiast

hear_her_roar

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You're definitely not too old to be clubbing.

Just relax! If you find someone you like, don't worry about whether they are younger or older. I can understand wanting to be with a younger person because they might be closer to your level sexually, but really, it's the connection that counts. Just don't do anything extreme and be yourself, you'll do wonderfully.

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lost1607307474 Collaborator

lost1607307474

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You're definitely not too old for the dating scene! I don't see why you still can't go out to clubs and bars. You're still young! And you're definitely not too old to date women in their early twenties - you'd both be mature adults (hopefully If people react to your age as "old", I'd ignore it; it's quite immature to judge somebody just because they are a few years older than you. Stop worrying about your age and just enjoy yourself

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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I agree with socializing with women your own age. While sometimes age doesn't matter, I just really get a sense that you want to date 20-22 women because you feel they will be more understanding about you being a virgin because it may seem more likely that they could possibly be being younger, or perhaps you feel that they are "freer" sexually at tha age and would sleep with you more easily?

 

You may not believe it, but women closer to your own age or slightly older will actually probably be more understanding, and the more likely you are to bond over other things. I am not saying there is anything wrong with being 20-22, but i know that when i was that age, older guys just were at a different place in life and had different priorities and interests.

 

I don't think you should make it a big deal you are a virgin. just let a connection and let the relationship happen.

 

I would explore the reasons why you are a virgin. There is no shame in that. and its not a problem, it is just that you want to understand yourself better. Are you a virgin because you felt that the women you were dating before just didn't have a strong enough connection with you? Did you want to wait until you were really in love or for marriage, at least initially, and now it is bothering you? Or were you in a situation with a woman and have done "everything but" on occasions but just never went all the way? Or do you have so much anxiety and/or missread the cues about when a woman is interested.

 

Personally, if I met a man that was compatible with me in every other way and I fell for him, and it turned out he was a virgin, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.

 

This might be too much information, but, I had a boyfriend who was a virgin and it just worked out that we broke up and ended up not going "all the way" in our relationship, but were together a year and a half, and I will say he was a much better kisser and our experiences together were much more satisfying than they initially were with the man I ended up marrying.

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  • 2 months later...
hahahahaha Newbie

hahahahaha

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To be honest, I am always attracted to older guys. I didnt even know their age, I just found that they were so nice to talk with, then when they told me they were 28, or 33 (lol),it really surprised me. Doesnt mean that I pulled away when I knew they were much older than me though. I am 20 btw. Maybe older guy is much mature and patient, that's what attract me.

So yea, go for it, there should be some girls who think like me too!

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MD Geist Community Regular

MD Geist

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I see this all the time especially around here where younger girls are like 20-25 dating men who are almost 40 its very popluar around here and I don't see anything wrong with it.

 

I just wish women would allow the same but I honestly don't understand them.

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