BronzedSkin123 Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 I'm not dating this guy..but this guy has been eyeing me for the whole semester. We have a class together. And I always see him noticing me when I walk down the hallway, go into the library and around campus. He is an older guy--I think he is in his late 30s...no older than 40. He finally stopped me and we had a long discussion (well he dominated the convo) in the hallway. I picked up a lot of things about him..like when we're having a discussion he likes to dominate/lead the conversation. If I am making a good point or attempting to..he pretty much interrupts me and carries on the conversation to bring things back to himself. And when I am speaking, I swear this man is not listening to a thing I am saying at all. He picks up on things but I don't feel like he is engaged enough when I am the one talking. I sit there and listen to him talk about everything, and his life whatsoever...but when it comes to me he only lets me give little input. And then it's like he tries to know MORE than me. It's like I can't know anything, and I sure as heck can't tell him about nothing. the thing that confuses me is if he isn't that interested in anything i have to say...why does he hold up my time? I pretty much missed class because of him. Whenever i attempted to walk away, he would say something to make me stay even longer. I told him I had to be to class 3 times and he found a way to stop me from going...I kinda liked him so I gave him my time. what is up with this guy? is he just after sex or something? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Novel thought - maybe he just wants a new friend? and has poor social skills? or it could be he has poor social skills when he first meets someone. Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Yes. Probably. Your instincts are telling you that he is and I recommend you listen to them. If your instincts are telling you he's not interested in the real you, then you should listen to that. Accept the truth and be honest with yourself, and that will keep you out of many sticky situations and hurts. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 he enjoys performing 'conversational mastrubation' with you. it's all about him, not about you.... i wouldn't really be interested in him, but that's just me. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 he enjoys performing 'conversational mastrubation' with you. it's all about him, not about you.... i wouldn't really be interested in him, but that's just me. While I agree I might give a guy like that one more chance in a casual setting. Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 While I agree I might give a guy like that one more chance in a casual setting. Can't hurt. But if he ignores the boundaries you try to set, then I'd take that information and make a decision. Link to comment
caro33 Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 While I agree I might give a guy like that one more chance in a casual setting. Yes, he could have been shy and have rehearsed his conversation with you and not been able to diverge from the one he thought he would have. But I agree that if your instinct is telling you this is conversational masturbation (lol annie) and he's just after sex, he probably is. Every person I have known like this has been out for the ego rush - whether or not this means sex is involved - rather than a real intimacy with me. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 What do you mean by ego rush? this sucks so I guess I am back at square one...single and hoping.. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 Yeah, while he was talking to me he did not try to hide that he was checking out other women. If a woman walked by he'd be eyeing them up and down like crazy. Made me feel so small.. Link to comment
Dako Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 If it's all about him now, it'd be the same later. Link to comment
caro33 Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 I used 'ego rush' because I was thinking about some of the women I have known like this and I thought that what they had in common with the guys I know like this (who I agree are in it for the sex when it's them talking to women) is that for them a conversation is all about them, it's all about proving how sexy/smart/interesting they are, and you are just a foil for them. I was trying not to generalise on a gender basis (as I just did!) so chose more generic words. The women who I know who are like this are seeing as flirty when it's them talking to men, by the way, but it's rarely about sex, it's just about ego stimulation - "see how great I am, you want me don't you, I would want me if I wasn't me". Link to comment
caro33 Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Yeah, while he was talking to me he did not try to hide that he was checking out other women. If a woman walked by he'd be eyeing them up and down like crazy. Made me feel so small.. It was meant to make you feel lucky that he deigned to talk to you. Lucky you! Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 i have the worst luck with men. all my friends are either married or in serious relationships. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 i must be boring): Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 i must be boring) No you are not boring..but this guy most definitely is. I have encountered people like that, both men and women..."the all about me" people who like to have monologues with another person standing there listening...and if you say something about your life, it just reminds them about another interesting thing that happened to them...and then they launch into another story about their favourite subject...themself! Forget this guy...he just needs an audience not a partner. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 sounds like one of those people that likes to hear themselves talk. i hate those. i just let them ramble and think how dumb they are. i really don't listen. Link to comment
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