Rozanne Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Guys are like buses... you wait for ages then two come along at once!! I moved to a new city about 6 weeks ago and met a guy fairly quickly - he's lovely: sweet, good looking, good job, all round nice bloke. We recently had "the talk" and agreed that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I know that he is pretty smitten with me. Then, two weeks ago I met one of my brother's friends who is also new to the city. I promised my brother that I would look after him because he has had a tough time of late - we both have the same hobbies so it's been pretty easy. Last night we went out to the fun fair - it was like the best ever date that ever was. I felt like I was in a movie. I would like to stress that absolutely nothing happened but there is just such good chemistry. I don't know what to do - Should I see how things work out with the boyfriend and if they don't, then go for the new guy? Do I break up with the perfectly lovely boyfriend so that I could see how things go with the new guy? Should I break up with the boyfriend anyway because at this stage I shouldn't even be thinking about anyone else? How do you even break up with someone if you have no good reason for doing so? I'd be so grateful for your advice - it has served me well in the past. xxx Link to comment
KissnRomance Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Well, stuff like this happens often but one thing you have to ask yourself right now is what you really want from a guy, the qualities you want from a guy you are going to date and how you want them to treat you, if you can answer these questions clearly, then you can then do the most important thing for yourself that is listen to your instinct. It's obvious you can't date both of them but I will advice you to abstain from dating anyone of them till you are clear about what you want. I have been in a situation like this once, what helped me was that I have to weigh both guy, compare their attitude and qualities and knowing what I want from a guy, I made my choice and to god, the one I chose was the best man I' ve had in my life. He was my first love and have you heard that there are some people you can never forget, a love that you can never forget, that was the guy I chose. During my confusion, I was able to clearly think of what I want and I followed my instinct and I had the best man ever. If god was a man on earth, that man was a god of love. I hope this helps. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 It is not fair to your current boyfriend to let him think he is the only one when you are out 'pseudo' dating someone else. Perhaps you are just not ready to really be his girlfriend yet, either not a strong enough connection, or you aren't as attached as you think you are. There will always be tempting people out there, so you have to decide if the person you are with makes you feel so good you won't stray. If you are seriously thinking about dating someone else, perhaps you just shouldn't be girlfriend/boyfriend yet. However, it's going to be hard to take it backwards now that you just turned that corner and declared yourself as exclusive. So in your mind, picture your boyfriend on the 'perfect' date rather than the other guy. Was it just the date fun (and you'd have been just as happy if you'd been on a date with your boyfriend), or was the other guy truly so special he is BETTER than your boyfriend? And are you sure this new guy wants you as a girlfriend at all, or was just having fun. So i'd investigate it a bit more before deciding what to do. You need more info than one fun pseudo date to make this a decision. Link to comment
DN Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 I think you should break up with your boyfriend because it seems clear that you don't have the right feelings for him and the chances are that you are going to really hurt him - better to do it now when the hurt will be less than sometime later. As to the new guy - well, see how it goes with him. But you might find that doesn't work either if you still have some feelings for your boyfriend or if yet another 'bus' comes along. I think you might be better not getting into any sort of exclusive relationship for a while. Date different guys but don't inadvertently mislead any of them into thinking there is any form of exclusivity. Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Well you really shouldnt be in a situation to have to choose. You have a boyfriend, and you are dating someone else. You're cheating on your boyfriend....so i think you already made your decision. Not to be harsh or rude or anything...but people who are in a committed/exclusive relationship and have the bf/gf label, dont go and date other people. Break up with him immediately or things will be ugly...very ugly. If you truly have feeling for this other "bus" then I suggest not jumping into anything anytime soon. Its obvious that you are unsure of what you want. As for your question of what does a nice girl do? Answer...Be committed to her boyfriend and be loyal...Dont cheat and dont play games. Link to comment
Rozanne Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 Dudes! Harsh! I certainly didn't go on a date with the new guy - we just went out as friends. However, I do hear what you're saying -I probably shouldn't be with either of them if I can't decide between them. MMmmm...I'm going to be having some awkward conversations over the next few days... Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Last night we went out to the fun fair - it was like the best ever date that ever was. I felt like I was in a movie. xxx Well I'm glad you realize what you have to do...but you did say you went on a date with him! Link to comment
Rozanne Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 Sorry - I suppose I could have expressed that a bit more accurately - it was like the best date that ever was. Apart from the fact it wasn't a date. Pseudo date - much more accurate. xxx Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Its not to be meant harsh. Your asking our opinions so you have to take the good in with the bad. it just seems that you arent ready to settle down. If you were than you wouldnt be feeling this way about the second guy. sounds like you still have some wild oats to sort. Its not fair to your boyfriend and for all you know this other guy may not feel the same as you. You can click with someone but that doesnt mean its meant to be a relationship. Link to comment
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