I just don't get him. Why do some men act the way they do?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I always never use the word "relationship" until we have slept together.

 

I am a bit confused about this. Do you mean that until there is sex you don't consider yourself in a relationship? What happens if you have sex after a few weeks...do you consider it a relationship even if you both haven't discussed it and he could be thinking the sex was just sex and nothing more. Or, if the guy says that he wants to be in a relationship with you you consummate it that very same day to seal the deal?

[Batya33]

I've never had a long term relationship where the reason we became exclusive was because we were sexually active. We were exclusive first. In my experience and from what I have heard if that is the reason the couple agrees to be exclusive the foundation is pretty weak. Better to just be sexually monogamous and commit when you're otherwise ready, or wait to have sex until the commitment means more than just being monogamous.

[mca1975]

oh ratgirl77, i know what you are saying, men are soo confusing. i think that they are just as insecure as we are, but they dont like to talk about it, so they run away. i was also seeing a guy for a few weeks and it was goin nicely, then he just didnt contact me for 1.5 weeks, then calls and acts normal ,so i have a go at him and say its prob best left as i would have wanted a relationship anyway in the end and that he had made me feel pretty crap not contacting me for that long, then he confuses me and says that I never asked him what he wanted. he came up with excuses (dont know if its true or not), as to why he hadnt contacted me for that long. anywya, he has called me since our 'leaving it' conversation to chat and see how I am and has asked if he can call me and is that ok, i said yes as I had calmed down, said he is working away again for two weeks away from area. why would he call to tell me that? im so confused now. i dont know if he has thought about it and what i said and wnats to try again or not??? grrr... i may just ask him straight out when he calls again, whenever that may be! but i dont want this sporadic contact, he asked why i never call him, but i just wont as I feel stupid! lol x

[Batya33]

That is not confusing. that is simply a person who is not that into you -- and you are into him so you continue to put up with behavior that is unreliable.

[annie24]

well, 1.5 weeks is long, but not so long. especially in the early stages of dating, you shouldn't be going off on a guy for not contacting you for that long, you are practically strangers, it's not like it's a serious relationship at all. if you had a new female friend, would you yell at her for not calling you for 10 days? i mean, you'd just accept that she had other things going on, and you'd decide if you wanted to make time for her or not.... it's not so uncommon for someone to kind of 'duck out of sight' for a bit in the early stages of dating while they are seeing others, getting some things straightened out, playing hard to get, etc....