Friendship --> something more??

[frail]

I am friend with this guy. We exchange IMs sometimes, we work together, and we've hung out twice a few weeks ago. Right now it's definitely at a buddies stage.

 

I'm a bit concerned as to how he feels about hanging out with me again by some of the things he says. However he said he'd help me put new speakers in my car once i buy them, etc.

 

I like him. He is such a great catch. He is funny, nice, responsible. And he's going to be a fire fighter. How sexy is that?!? And i have NO IDEA how he really feels about me. I've been sorta hanging back lately, i know he's been busy with school, etc.

 

And i'm afraid to pursue anything more because i'd be sacrificing our friendship. I am going to be a maid of honor at a wedding and i want to ask him to be my date, even if it's just a friend thing. Dunno if i should tell him that he's one of my only guy friends and thats why i'm asking him (to save from him thinking i'm trying to make a move on him). But i dunno.

 

Part of me feels i'll regret it if i don't try and go after this guy. I don't know what i should do.

[Batya33]

You don't need to do anything except perhaps be a little less available to chat with on IM or to "hang out." Of course there can be a buddies stage that then becomes dating but if you get into a routine of hanging out and IMing and you are very available you won't give him a chance to see what it is like to miss you a bit and from that, if he hasn't already, he may notice that he is attracted to you.

 

I would not ask him to go to the wedding because you will have to say "as friends" or something like that and that might give him mixed messages. If you ask him to be your real date he might be overwhelmed because typically if you bring a real date it is something on the serious side.

 

It's also fine to reference fun plans you have - not specifically dates you are going on but be general so that he doesn't know either way. I would not be specific about any plans - it is none of his business what you do when you're not with him and it's not so bad for him to wonder if you're dating someone.

[frail]

ok thank you

[ghost69]

just ask him to be your date. yes, say 'date'. if that is your intention. if you want to be just friends with this guy say 'as friends.' don't be scared to do this. don't tell him that he is one of your only guy friends. just ask.