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Stop inferring, it doesn't matter.

matius

By matius
in Dating Advice

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matius Enthusiast

matius

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Just had to say something. I've been here for quite sometime and can only come to one conclusion. It's simply self-confidence.

 

You'll find yourself tripping up a lot if you have none, then come here and get 15 opinions on your situation when they're not living it.

 

No disrespect to anyone here trying to help mind you. I'm just pointing out that the trick is to play the situation as you see it and make confident moves. It's easy to read a thing or two online that quickly steals that confidence. The only way to know is by going through it and living with the consequences of your actions.

 

Nobody seems to listen but if you work on your inner-strength - that is build your life and develop your dreams and stay focused rather than constantly infer about what the other persons actions mean than you're wasting time.

 

It's more attractive to be seen as a highly motivated individual rather than someone who seems unsure of their actions... if you try to improve yourself when these worried/panicked feelings come about, you may gain some confidence the next time around and you would have gotten your mind off the problem (for example, how should I follow-up and this and that).

 

Be bold. Don't be afraid to mix-it-up a bit and sometimes the opposite of what may be popular opinion is right for your situation. Every situation and person is different, but nobody wants someone leeching. Remember to back off and stay out of the way for a while when those pangs of insecurity come along. Excercise, do better for you and they'll occur less frequently.

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matius Enthusiast

matius

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Lol, yeah, that was what I was wondering. Who's interfering with what?

 

Nobody is.

 

...

 

Stop inferring what?

 

What the person you're after and/or dating is thinking about or what their actions mean in relation to your status in the relationship.

 

What does this mean? I don't understand this person? Confusing girl?? Are common questions on the board.

 

 

The point is this. Play how you want to play.

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Samedy Community Regular

Samedy

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While I agree that self-confidence plays a major role in ones happiness and success, I think the OP is using broad generalizations and over simplifies the purpose of giving and getting advice.

 

Besides, this whole notion that all you need is individual confidence and not the support or help of others is a myth. Being self-reliant and confident isn't just about being able to do things on your own, you also have to know when to ask for help, and knowing where to go and who to ask.

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Kiwi_Sweet Apprentice

Kiwi_Sweet

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While I agree that self-confidence plays a major role in ones happiness and success, I think the OP is using broad generalizations and over simplifies the purpose of giving and getting advice.

 

Besides, this whole notion that all you need is individual confidence and not the support or help of others is a myth. Being self-reliant and confident isn't just about being able to do things on your own, you also have to know when to ask for help, and knowing where to go and who to ask.

 

That's true, but he didn't say anything about that. He simply said to STOP letting other people hold you back from living your life.

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matius Enthusiast

matius

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While I agree that self-confidence plays a major role in ones happiness and success, I think the OP is using broad generalizations and over simplifies the purpose of giving and getting advice.

 

Besides, this whole notion that all you need is individual confidence and not the support or help of others is a myth. Being self-reliant and confident isn't just about being able to do things on your own, you also have to know when to ask for help, and knowing where to go and who to ask.

 

...for the purpose of giving and getting advice... not sure what that even means.

 

actually I think people need to hear broad generalizations to get their minds out of complex knot they've tied about a situation that's simply not relevant. I think it's OK to seek advice for major problems. My post is on the smaller issues. Should I text her? Should I call her two or four days after I got her number? Does she like me? If you dig her ask her out... you fall you're wiser anyway and you can be glad you did something about it... clears up all the worry.

 

You should take note of how people feel about you but at the end of the day - you shouldn't be worrying about the girl who gave you her number and is ever so slowly slipping away into the night because of your actions or something you're doing. If she wanted you to be around she'd want you to be around. Let her go, she ain't right... etc., for a million different situations.

 

If you feel strong about yourself and somebody decides to leave you say their loss... take the pain... and stay focused on your thing until the next person comes around. Be your own friend and the world opens up.

 

I put this post down because good things are happening in my life because of it. There will be rough patches but I'm much more capable of getting on. I think certain people can glean what I'm trying to tell them no matter how generalized the statements.

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Brightest Dark Explorer

Brightest Dark

Posted
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I think it's OK to seek advice for major problems. My post is on the smaller issues. Should I text her? Should I call her two or four days after I got her number? Does she like me? If you dig her ask her out... you fall you're wiser anyway and you can be glad you did something about it... clears up all the worry.

 

I agree with you that you should go with your gut feeling and just go for what you want, however I've also seen you starting threads asking questions regarding girls you've been interested in and wanting others' opinions on the matter. I think a lot of the time people know what they want to do but still want second or third (or fourth or fifth) opinions. Or to just talk about something on their mind. Sometimes you need others' opinions for something to really make sense and to come to a total conclusion. Sometimes the situation is not always an easy one. Sometimes it's not just about calling someone, there are other things to take into account. It all depends on the situation. I do think more guys should let a girl know they like her though. I was talking to some guys last week and they said that sometimes they don't tell a girl that they like her because they are scared of rejection and all that. It is frustrating. How are people supposed to get together if both are too afraid to make a move? I think you should just get over that scared feeling and do it - unless it is a confusing situation like you work together or something, where a rejection wouldn't be so easy to deal with.

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matius Enthusiast

matius

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I agree with you that you should go with your gut feeling and just go for what you want, however I've also seen you starting threads asking questions regarding girls you've been interested in and wanting others' opinions on the matter.

 

I'm not trying to hide nuthin' nor put down anyone for coming here... my posts are out there in full search glory - the painful, the ugly, the great.

 

But I'm evolving. I'm putting the word out that it doesn't need to be one way. Call it a little light from those who've been there... for the other grasshoppers

 

people know what they want to do but still want second or third (or fourth or fifth) opinions.

 

I'm changing into a person that knows what they want the first time... that's what I'm moving towards with this state of mind. That's not saying I won't ever need to come here for help. I will! But I also feel very different. Radically different.

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