What have you learned from online dating ?

[AngelEyez]

I think I rely too much on the dating site :S I check it non-stop through out the day, and I do receive emails, just not from people I'd be interested in. Some people don't even read my profile. Can anyone recommend good dating sites (Canada) ? I use link removed (2 thumbs down).

[WoundedHeart]

I think I rely too much on the dating site :S I check it non-stop through out the day, and I do receive emails, just not from people I'd be interested in. Some people don't even read my profile. Can anyone recommend good dating sites (Canada) ? I use link removed (2 thumbs down).

 

I had to comment when I seen that you use POF because that is the site I am on . I am only there for the forums now and my profile has been hidden for months . POF is the reason I have given up on dating online . LOL

[Stambler]

link removed is very professional. Picture quality blows POF away, and the profile format is much more rigid.... easy to do a side by side compatibility assessment

 

The IM is a bit slow, but at least it works (unlike POF 99% of the time).

 

Match does have a fee though...

[darkpumpkin]

In my opinion if you can get something for free you don't invest as much into it. That is why I didn't like POF and a few others. I heard good things about link removed though.

 

I find it a bit funny that some people won't pay for a dating site, you pay to have drinks in a bar if your looking to hook up with someone. Pay to join a group to meet new people. Why wouldn't you pay if your serious about meeting new people with the intent to date?

[Stambler]

^ Just like people that won't spend money to make money........

[darkpumpkin]

^ very true. I guess it comes down to what you want and what means you are willing to get it, and how many knocks your willing to deal with along the way.

[iwishiknew]

what kinds of things did you say to women that you approached?

 

I say "Hi, how are you doing?" Just regular basic talk.

[shikashika]

I say "Hi, how are you doing?" Just regular basic talk.

 

 

 

well if someone just said "Hi, how are you doing" i probably wouldn't respond. he needs to come up with something more original than that.

 

Girls get tons of messages saying "Hi, whats up".. or "hi, how're you doing" or "hey, nice profile, would you like to chat?"

 

They all say the same thing!!

 

maybe thats why they didn't respond, nothing to do with your attractiveness(which different people have different opinions of anyway)

[Batya33]

When I received an email like that, if I responded, I would write back something like "Fine, thanks for writing. I much prefer talking to typing so if you would like to get to know me better, please send me a phone number where I can reach you" (I preferred not to give out my number)

 

But, if I received other emails that showed more of an effort rather than a mass mailing, his email would not be top priority to respond to.

[shikashika]

When I received an email like that, if I responded, I would write back something like "Fine, thanks for writing. I much prefer talking to typing so if you would like to get to know me better, please send me a phone number where I can reach you" (I preferred not to give out my number)

 

But, if I received other emails that showed more of an effort rather than a mass mailing, his email would not be top priority to respond to.

 

Exactly... because you do get guys who make an effort more than a how--areyou-doing email.

 

If I found them attractive, ANd they had made a bit of effort in reading my profile, then i'd write back.

 

For eg, one guy noticed i'd liked snowboarding. He told me he had been to xxx mountain this year and told me that the conditions on the double black were pretty good but the xxx chair lift would be closed for the next 2 weeks.

 

At least he's taken the time to read something about my profile....and at least I know if he's talking about it, he's not just making something up to pretend we are interested in the same thing. Thats even worse!!

 

look at something in her profile... if you know nothing about what she's interested in, then don't bother... there are enough people out there.

 

one thing is i could tell who had sent the same email to every girl as i sometimes got the EXACT SAME email from the same guy over and over again.

[iwishiknew]

well if someone just said "Hi, how are you doing" i probably wouldn't respond. he needs to come up with something more original than that.

 

Girls get tons of messages saying "Hi, whats up".. or "hi, how're you doing" or "hey, nice profile, would you like to chat?"

 

They all say the same thing!!

 

maybe thats why they didn't respond, nothing to do with your attractiveness(which different people have different opinions of anyway)

 

I do also ask questions like "what workouts do you like to do?" "I see that you like hockey, what is your favorite team?" "what music you listen to, have you been to any concerts?" etc "I see that your a student, what are your studing?" I ask questions about her, I mix it up alittle bit. Yes, when I send emails besides just saying hi, I do ask some questions.

 

Yes I believe it does deal with my attractiveness. From my experiment I did a few months ago, I have learned that I have no attraction to attract girls. I sent the same exact messages to the girls as I did before with a different guy pic from a hair cut website and I changed my height from 5'3 to 5'11, and I left my profile the same. And I used the SAME EXACT messages as I did before. Out of the 20 girls I sent messages, that I tried before getting their response, 18 responded back! My stomach felt sick after that, even a few girls gave me their numbers. Why can't this happen to me in real life? I was like what heck, Yes I am short and I am not attractive, but I am a nice fun athletic guy who is outgoing and caring. So yes it does deal with my attractiveness and my height.

[shikashika]

so you lied in your profile? thats smart!

 

I'm 5'1 and know lots of other women that height too. i coudn't care less if a guy is 5'3 or 6'3... so no i don't think tis your height... Sure, some women may not like it.. but there are plenty that do.

 

my friend who is 5'3 dated his girlfriend for 4 years .. She is 5'8. they have been married for 3 years.

[Batya33]

My boyfriend now and my ex are 5"5 and under. Not an issue for me. Lying however about height (more than 2 inches) or age - or educational/marital status - always a dealbreaker.

[iwishiknew]

so you lied in your profile? thats smart!

 

I'm 5'1 and know lots of other women that height too. i coudn't care less if a guy is 5'3 or 6'3... so no i don't think tis your height... Sure, some women may not like it.. but there are plenty that do.

 

my friend who is 5'3 dated his girlfriend for 4 years .. She is 5'8. they have been married for 3 years.

 

 

I lied just for one day only, it was an experiment that I wanted to try. It was to prove to myself, the reason why I do not get any responses back from online dating is because I am unattractive and short. From my experiment I did, I got my results, to show why those girls did not respond back to me, that shared the same exact interests as me, but they responded to the taller attractive guy. Humm..I wonder why?

 

Some girls do not have height preference but MAJORITY of them do. I am a student at a university and the ratio of girls there are a lot taller than me, there are not many girls that I am taller than.

 

I still have not had one girl yet accept me of who I am. I wish they would give me a chance and not judge me by my height and looks, but majority of them do.

[shikashika]

I lied just for one day only, it was an experiment that I wanted to try. It was to prove to myself, the reason why I do not get any responses back from online dating is because I am unattractive and short. From my experiment I did, I got my results, to show why those girls did not respond back to me, that shared the same exact interests as me, but they responded to the taller attractive guy. Humm..I wonder why?

 

Some girls do not have height preference but MAJORITY of them do. I am a student at a university and the ratio of girls there a lot are taller than me, there are not many girls that I am taller than.

 

you did this to prove to yourself???

 

so, basically, you laready had a preconeived negative idea in your head and you did something to prove it.

 

what excactly was the point of that? anyone could 'prove' something negative about themselves.

 

did it help you get more dates? did it make you feel better about yourself?

 

Obviously not, so i don't understand why you did it.

 

Well, maybe you did it, because perhaps there are other areas of your life you can be working on, but you don't possibly want to admit that it could be something else.

 

 

you say hmnn i wonder why.

 

I wonder why I know a lot of guys under 5'5 who have no problem getting women, staying in relationships with women, or getting married had having kids. You aren't acknowledging that there could be a reason aside from your height that isn't getting you any women.

 

i really don't see why you were trying to prove anything to yourself.

[Batya33]

Lying for one day - not a huge deal. But in general it's the liars like you who give on line dating a bad name -- and it wastes people's precious time - there is nothing wrong with a woman having a height related preference just like men have weight related preferences.

[iwishiknew]

I wanted to find out why girls do not respond back to me. It is really upseting when I get no responses. I know it is not my interests because I repond to girls who have the same interests as me. I respond to average girls. I wanted to make sure that it is my height and attraction the problem why I do not get responses. And from my results it is. So tell me why I do not get any responses? It is not my messages, they are the same messages I used before, not my interests, umm last but not least attraction and height..ding ding ding got a winner! The girls just responded to the tall handsome guy pic I used. If you seen me in person, you would see why I can't attract girls. On hot or link removed I am a 4. I was born with a bone disorder, which is not easy to deal with and not very attractive. I try not to let it get into me but it is not easy.

 

I have nothing else to admit besides, I still live at home, I make 7.50 an hr, I drive a * * * * box and I go to school full time. Other than that I am a nice caring guy, I am very athletic, I can run the mile under 5 mins, which I would think would at least impress some girls but it does not. I play hockey, I play tennis and lots of other sports. From my results of my experiment, it is all based on looks, attraction and height period!

[Stambler]

You two need to lighten up on IWIK...

 

I can see his point. Although I don't have a difficult time with the ladies, I am only 5'5" tall and probably have to ask out at least 2x the number of women a tall man would have to, because the rejection rate for short men is quite high. I think he was only trying to prove something that is a fact....

 

I've actually had women on link removed tell me I wasn't tall enough, including women who were 5'1" -5"5" tall!

[Batya33]

I don't think the way to "prove" that is to mislead people on a dating site and waste their time. I always felt cheated out of my free time when I responded to a profile where the man lied about his age.

[JadedStar]

You two need to lighten up on IWIK...

 

I can see his point. Although I don't have a difficult time with the ladies, I am only 5'5" tall and probably have to ask out at least 2x the number of women a tall man would have to, because the rejection rate for short men is quite high. I think he was only trying to prove something that is a fact....

 

I've actually had women on link removed tell me I wasn't tall enough, including women who were 5'1" -5"5" tall!

 

Camber if i were single you have nothing to prove with me man! These women don't know what they are missing. A man is a man no matter his height.

 

I can't believe how picky some women are in this area.

[iwishiknew]

You two need to lighten up on IWISH...

 

I can see his point. Although I don't have a difficult time with the ladies, I am only 5'5" tall and probably have to ask out at least 2x the number of women a tall man would have to, because the rejection rate for short men is quite high. I think he was only trying to prove something that is a fact....

 

I've actually had women on link removed tell me I wasn't tall enough, including women who were 5'1" -5"5" tall!

 

Thank you! Yes that is true rejection for short men is high, I know that for a FACT becuase I read that in Mens Health Magazine, and a university did that study. I also have been told in my face many times from a girl saying, "You seem nice but sorry, I am kinda tall for you" or "Sorry, this won't work out, your a little short" etc, all the bullcrap I get stinks. Height does play some factor in attraction and getting a girl. Height may not be a factor for some girls but the MAJORITY of girls it is very important.

[iwishiknew]

Camber if i were single you have nothing to prove with me man! These women don't know what they are missing. A man is a man no matter his height.

 

I can't believe how picky some women are in this area.

 

I like your response statement! That is a good statement! A MAN IS A MAN NO MATTER OF HIS HEIGHT! I wish a lot of girls would see this in me, but they do not.

[Batya33]

Height was never an issue for me.

[WoundedHeart]

Camber if i were single you have nothing to prove with me man! These women don't know what they are missing. A man is a man no matter his height.

 

I can't believe how picky some women are in this area.

 

It has been my experience that men have more of an issue with being shorter then women do . I have dated men shorter then me , and it seemed to be an issue with them more so then with me . One man I dated told me I could never wear heels, because I would be taller then him . I like to wear heels because it makes me feel sexy . I happen to be almost 5 ft 8 and I have been told that I am "too " tall ,so it kind of works both ways .

[iwishiknew]

It has been my experience that men have more of an issue with being shorter then women do . I have dated men shorter then me , and it seemed to be an issue with them more so then with me . One man I dated told me I could never wear heels, because I would be taller then him . I like to wear heels because it makes me feel sexy . I happen to be almost 5 ft 8 and I have been told that I am "too " tall ,so it kind of works both ways .

 

Height of a girl does not matter to me at all. It is what inside that counts. If a girl is taller or shorter than me, it would not bother me at all. I would not feel weird or uncomfortable if I was with a tall girl.