We have gone from perfect to pityful....

[tuatara]

I dont know what it is that has suddenly changed but we have been going out for two years now.

 

And a half a year a go we would of had a handful of fights in total.

 

This last half of the second year however has been fights all round. And been on the verge of break up discussion

 

It's always the same kind of fight though. My girlfriend will get mad/frustrated at me for some reason, then I would try to talk to her rationally, defending my case. Then she will get even madder because she feels like she is always in the wrong. Then she would say sorry the morning after.

 

It's driving me so crazy I do not know what to do. I feel I cant talk to her when she gets mad or frustrated, she is very hard to deal with. But then she will suddenly be fine later that night or morning.

 

Help! Please I'm sitting on the couch on a Saturday night, while she is sleeping in bed, because this has happened again. I don't want this to continue like this..

[SapphireNoir10]

You've got to talk to her and tell her thats shes being irrational about issues and it's making you unhappy. Tell her, you want more than anything for your relationship to work but shes going to have to work on controlling her issues and on getting in a mood with you for stupid things. Lifes too short for arguing and getting annoyed. She should enjoy your relationship and so should you.

[richmonder80]

You've got to talk to her and tell her thats shes being irrational about issues and it's making you unhappy. Tell her, you want more than anything for your relationship to work but shes going to have to work on controlling her issues and on getting in a mood with you for stupid things. Lifes too short for arguing and getting annoyed. She should enjoy your relationship and so should you.

 

He has already done that!!! that is when she gets even more angry. I thnk she needs an independent 3rd party view on how she is acting. Go to couple's therapy, it will help both of you on how to deal with the situation and why both of you act in certain way. It will help you guys big time. It is worth saving the relationship.

[ghost69]

if you want to communicate like a human being and your SO doesn't, and you try and try, it's time to get out. no communication will ruin any relationship.

[free2Bme]

I think it would be good to have an example of the type of things that are frustrating her.

 

You say you defend your case, but if you are going straight on the defensive then you are turning it all back on her and taking no responsibility for any problems in the relationship, hence she feels like it's all her fault and gets more frustrated.

 

The next time you have a fight, instead of going straight on the defensive, tell her how it's making you feel all this arguing. Don't respond to the specific accusation she is making, but ask her what is making her so annoyed all the time. Say things like 'What are WE going to do about this?' don't put it all on her.

[Lana0120]

I think it would be good to have an example of the type of things that are frustrating her.

 

You say you defend your case, but if you are going straight on the defensive then you are turning it all back on her and taking no responsibility for any problems in the relationship, hence she feels like it's all her fault and gets more frustrated.

 

The next time you have a fight, instead of going straight on the defensive, tell her how it's making you feel all this arguing. Don't respond to the specific accusation she is making, but ask her what is making her so annoyed all the time. Say things like 'What are WE going to do about this?' don't put it all on her.

 

 

I agree with this. We only know things from your point of view... at the end of the day, if you want to resolve things, you've got to make it less about blame and more about working to reach a solution to the problem together. However, if she isn't willing to work with you to stop this, then I would tend to agree with ghost, that there isn't much hope for this relationship.

[tuatara]

I've tried just holding my mouth, and not defending myself and saying sorry for something that I feel had an a totally over the top negative response. But she just stays stubborn mad. The hardest thing about this is she stays angry or frustrated over very small things, and I know she wouldn't react like that with anyone else.

 

Then I think to myself does she actually love me like she says she does. But she does she says it all the time out of the blue (complains that i dont tell her sometimes), she shows it all the time.

 

We are both 21, I think its very sad if a young couple like that would have to go to counseling every time a problem comes up.

 

I don't know if this whole thing is because she feels insecure (which I know she does feel a bit).

 

I want to fix this, it sucks so much!