I'm shallow just because I like physically fit girls?

[jenny_mcs]

I don't think your attitude is very realistic. In order to have a romantic relationship, there has to be a physical attraction.

 

I'm not sure I understand why you think the original poster isn't "facing his fears". He went out on a blind date, did not find the woman attractive, and does not plan on dating her.

[JadedStar]

we didn't have some kind of round table discussion about this girl and making fun of her...it was 2 guys talking my kitchen...another guy comes in to grab a beer and over hears us...makes a lude comment...we laugh and then go back to the rest of the guys.

 

I mean...its a conversation among guys where there are no women around. Ladies...some of you would be shocked to find out the things men discuss when you aren't around.

 

but since he felt like a jerk for setting me up with this girl he went back to his wife with his guns out and she then turned it around on him by diverting it away from her and on to me...women are really good at things like this...and guys aren't very smart when it comes to argueing

 

 

I do agree with you there that guys do have lude conversations (as do women) and it would not be realistic for people to point fingers at that. When my husband is with his guy friends they get pretty crude and that is their right so long is no one is there getting hurt. IF someone overhears it and is upset or hurt then they will suffer the consequence in being called on it or feeling guilty. But most of their crudeness has to do with stupid stuff anyway that no one gives a hoot about.

 

But since it DiD get back to this guy's wife and caused a backlash you know that was the risk you take if you do make jokes and the end result is you feel bad about it.

 

Crude jokes are not appropriate if they hurt others. What people say to a friend behind closed doors is their own business.

[CaptainPlanet]

You're not shallow fat women should be less fat.

[dont_know_what_2_say]

so if he liked big women then you would've said fit women should be bigger?

[i_am_me]

As long as you actually met her and felt no connection it's fine. If you wouldn't have seen her in the first place just because she is big would be shallow.

[Konfetkette]

You're not shallow! I like physically fit guys too!

People want people who take care of themselves! It's a sign of health!

[Miss Firecracker]

And weight isn't even as permanent as skin color or eye color.

 

I think you should expect it to be permanent if you start dating someone overweight. Lots of people lose weight, but it usually comes back under stress or depression. Look at all the stars that tend to be overweight. It's up and down, up and down, over and over. There are just some people who are meant to be large.

 

I have been going to the same gym for years, and no one there has ever changed much.

[ProtestTheHero]

No, it's not shallow. A lot of the people that are going to say it is either have never dated, are insecure about their own appearance, or are idealistic to the point of insanity.

 

Guess what? Some girls won't date a guy with long hair. Some guys won't date a woman with long hair. Some women won't date a short guy. Some men won't date a woman taller than them. This is how it works. It is preference. Because it's aimed at people instead of food or beverage we tend to feel sorry for it. There is no need to feel bad.

 

You're allowed to be as discriminatory as you want. To those saying he shouldn't have said it was b/c she wasn't fit, well, what if she then thinks its for some other reason? A negative comment or a bad personality. If you're gonna discontinue seeing someone at least let them worry about what actually caused it to happen rather than inventing problems that aren't there.

[greenmonster]

cmon, calling someone a fatty and making jokes about hams or mexicans stuffed in her pants? how could that not be insulting to this girl?

 

the way to tell if something is insulting is to ask yourself whether this is something you could say in front of the person, and whether it would hurt that person's feelings if you did so.

 

and more importantly, isn't it a better (less shallow) way to live to try to NOT say something that is bound to hurt someone's feelings if it gets back to them (or their friends)... that's my only point here...

 

I didn't call her fatty, I didn't make jokes at her, I made no comment to her about her weight at all!!

 

I made an anonymous post on the internet...used some more "colorful" ways of discribing an overwieght person...and you have taken it as if this is how I spoke to this girl.

 

the only thing I ever said was that she had gained a lotta weight since her college age pics that I had seen, my buddy tossed in the "fatty" comment, we snickered, then went back to watching football talking about other stuff...

 

lighten up a little...the comments about mexicans/hams down her pants were just to lighten up the tone of this thread...too many people get overly serious about stuff sometimes...figure I would inject a little humor

[CaptainPlanet]

so if he liked big women then you would've said fit women should be bigger?

 

I don't know many men that like big women.

 

But in that case, yes thats what I would say.

[FreedomRing]

I didn't call her fatty, I didn't make jokes at her, I made no comment to her about her weight at all!!

 

I made an anonymous post on the internet...used some more "colorful" ways of discribing an overwieght person...and you have taken it as if this is how I spoke to this girl.

 

the only thing I ever said was that she had gained a lotta weight since her college age pics that I had seen, my buddy tossed in the "fatty" comment, we snickered, then went back to watching football talking about other stuff...

 

lighten up a little...the comments about mexicans/hams down her pants were just to lighten up the tone of this thread...too many people get overly serious about stuff sometimes...figure I would inject a little humor

 

Well Green, I agree that you should stand by whatever personal preferences you have...it's totally your perogative.

 

BTW-your retelling of the events def gave me a laugh lol

[ghost69]

You're not shallow! I like physically fit guys too!

People want people who take care of themselves! It's a sign of health!

 

omg you like physically fit guys? you are so shallow!!!! lol

 

to the thread, more than 65% of women are out of shape. this is why so many get so upset when you say you aren't attracted to them.

[shikashika]

I didn't call her fatty, I didn't make jokes at her, I made no comment to her about her weight at all!!

 

I made an anonymous post on the internet...used some more "colorful" ways of discribing an overwieght person...and you have taken it as if this is how I spoke to this girl.

 

the only thing I ever said was that she had gained a lotta weight since her college age pics that I had seen, my buddy tossed in the "fatty" comment, we snickered, then went back to watching football talking about other stuff...

 

lighten up a little...the comments about mexicans/hams down her pants were just to lighten up the tone of this thread...too many people get overly serious about stuff sometimes...figure I would inject a little humor

 

Don't worry..... I LOL-ed and LOL-ed

[shikashika]

omg you like physically fit guys? you are so shallow!!!! lol

 

to the thread, more than 65% of women are out of shape. this is why so many get so upset when you say you aren't attracted to them.

 

 

You are right, and this is why small boob-ed women get upset if some guy says he likes big boobs... or virgins get upset if someone says they don't want someone inexperienced etc etc..

 

I'd say the same percentage of men are out of shape as well...in my experience anyway.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

not shallow at all. you dont have to go outside of your preference

[KAT MOMMY]

I dont think that you are shallow-nope. You have your perference and if that means fit then so be it. I don't like fat guys! Physical and mental counts. But don't think that overweight people are not awesome in their own way...some of them are really good people

[greenmonster]

I dont think that you are shallow-nope. You have your perference and if that means fit then so be it. I don't like fat guys! Physical and mental counts. But don't think that overweight people are not awesome in their own way...some of them are really good people

 

oh ya...I never said that good peoples didn't come in all shapes and sizes...because they most certainly do!!