I am so mad at her for ruining a good thing...

[need2bme]

Did you ever just get angry at the fact that what was, no longer is?

 

What I mean to say is, not really that someone left per se, but more along the lines of disappointment in that everything was so good and then it is just as if they take a very good part of your life, from you.

 

I know it sounds silly, but I think I am more hurt and angry at the fact that I no longer have the relationship of hanging out and being friends.

 

It isn't really about her hurting me, in as much as it is that I miss hanging out and having that as part of my life.

 

I guess if I could have seen it coming or paid more attention, then maybe I wouldn't feel this way.

 

Anyway, just a rant...

[melrich]

but more along the lines of disappointment in that everything was so good and then it is just as if they take a very good part of your life

 

I get what you mean but you have to remember it was good for you, not for them. At the end of the day what is someone supposed to do? Stay in a relationship at the expense of their own happiness just so the other person can be happy?

[surfjon]

I feel the same way at times, but a "good thing" is subjective and based on the viewpoint of the one who felt it was a "good thing".

 

I know my wife feels she left a "bad thing", otherwise she wouldn't have left me.

[love4life]

Totally agree! We miss the relationship and the feeling associated with it, not so much the other person.

 

That's why I finally got myself back into the dating scene. It's not that the ex was such an amazing person, but the feelings I had for him were amazing. I've had that feeling with 3 people in my life, so I know I'll find another one who gives me that again. It's not a question of "will it happen?", but a question of "WHEN will it happen?".

[itsallgrand]

I think that's pretty normal. I went through a time with that, too. I think of it as my "gimme gimme, I'm so angry at you for taking away what I want!" phase.

 

The pure disappointment and displeasure at not getting what we want. lol.

[Ampire]

I feel the same way at times, but a "good thing" is subjective and based on the viewpoint of the one who felt it was a "good thing".

 

I know my wife feels she left a "bad thing", otherwise she wouldn't have left me.

 

When my ex broke up with me she said "the reason why this is so F'n hard one me is because I feel like im letter a really good thing go"

 

that made me feel even worse about it all....

[glimmerofhope]

For me, the loss covers three tenses: I am upset that the good times we had in the past are now tainted by doubts as to how real it was; I am upset that it is currently the holiday season and I do not get to share it with my best friend; and I am upset that the happy future I had envisioned with her has been destroyed.

[blindreepr]

When my ex broke up with me she said "the reason why this is so F'n hard one me is because I feel like im letter a really good thing go"

 

that made me feel even worse about it all....

 

mine said the same thing, funny how it still doesnt stop them from letting go.

[LBP]

I think it's very possible for someone to know what they have is good and have it provide them with happiness... Yet for them to 'ruin' it anyway. People are not logical. That it wasn't good for them is not always the reason for a relationship getting squashed.

 

Sometimes, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy of disatisfaction. Sometimes, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy of incompatability; "If I dump them and they don't like, it proves we weren't meant to be!"

 

Ad infinitum. People rarely make sense.

[Ampire]

mine said the same thing, funny how it still doesnt stop them from letting go.

 

I know its ridiculous

[minniegirl]

N2B, you read my mind. That's exactly why I'm angry. I go between the hatred and anger emotions a lot. I'm extremely angry at my ex for messing up the very good thing we had and could have continue to have. It sucks. That's all I can say. It sucks, it hurts, and yes I'm angry. And you have every right to be angry as well. It's a very understandable feeling. You are not alone.

[need2bme]

I get what you mean but you have to remember it was good for you, not for them. At the end of the day what is someone supposed to do? Stay in a relationship at the expense of their own happiness just so the other person can be happy?

 

Melrich: First, thanks for not tossing me. Second, I totally hear ya and agree I would not want her in a relationship where she is unhappy. I just miss the good times and yes, that is all about me.

 

I think it's very possible for someone to know what they have is good and have it provide them with happiness... Yet for them to 'ruin' it anyway. People are not logical. That it wasn't good for them is not always the reason for a relationship getting squashed.

 

Sometimes, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy of disatisfaction. Sometimes, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy of incompatability; "If I dump them and they don't like, it proves we weren't meant to be!"

 

Ad infinitum. People rarely make sense.

 

LBP: This is what I fell, as well. Sure, I wouldn't want her to stay if she was not happy, but the fact that she wasn't happy, may not have stemmed from hre no longer loving me or at least not entirely.

 

I too believe that someone can decide they are not ready and just bail.

 

Still, I would not want her in a relationship if she did not care for me enough to be in it.

[Infrared]

Someone here on ENA has this for a sig

 

"I don't want to hate but that's all you've left me with."

 

That pretty muh sums me up.

[Ocean 22]

Same thing happened to me and it SUCKS! That's the only way to feel about stuff like this. I got the same speech as Ampire when my bf dumped me. He said too that he might be making the biggest mistake of his life in letting me go. 4 months later, and still NC from him. HHHHMMMM - I wonder if he still thinks it's a mistake???!!! Actions speak a thousand words and obviously he can live without me and doesn't see this as a mistake. I really don;t know what happened till this day. He seemed happy to be and when asked he told me that he was and he never volunteered anything different so maybe he ended something too that made him happy as well as me, so that's why it's hard when both people seem to be happy and it still doesn't work.

[deebee]

For me, the loss covers three tenses: I am upset that the good times we had in the past are now tainted by doubts as to how real it was; I am upset that it is currently the holiday season and I do not get to share it with my best friend; and I am upset that the happy future I had envisioned with her has been destroyed.

Me too. After the anger and emptiness have subsided, I'm now very sad that I have lost someone who had become my best friend.

[bobsiesprincess]

I know it sounds silly, but I think I am more hurt and angry at the fact that I no longer have the relationship of hanging out and being friends.

 

It isn't really about her hurting me, in as much as it is that I miss hanging out and having that as part of my life.

 

this is exactly how i feel. i miss the closeness of our friendship and the companionship.