Another woman makes me feel insecure

[1st_time_heartbreak]

Batya33

 

You're feeding fuel to the fire that I was trying to cool down. She actually might bring her husband for all I know. I read one of her text messages to him and she asked if their outing would be a family one...asking if spouses and children were coming. He more or less replied that she could bring whomever she wanted, but implied that he would be coming alone. I think he eggs it on. I am aware that sometimes depression leads to alcohol and drug abuse, or affairs. This is his version of an affair. Do I like and accept this? Of course not, but things between us are so much more complicated than I can explain.

 

I have accepted that as much as I want to take away his sadness, I can't. I can't keep rehashing out the same problems over and over again because I have no solution, and it is exhausting and makess me so unhappy. I can only tell him how I feel, hope he understands, and maybe he will do the right thing because he loves me. I know that right now, he lacks the capacity to think clearly. Everyday is a struggle for him to just get through the day without losing all control. I can be very patient. However, I'm no saint. I think I know my limits, but if I don't, the advice and help from others will help me decide how much I can tolerate before calling it quits.

 

Oh, and I probably will be going out that night, without him.

[Batya33]

You are entitled to reject my advice, of course. I didn't see it as making it worse, I saw it as you sharing with him that you are uncomfortable with the situation and find it inappropriate. Obviously we cannot know your entire situation particularly because you chose not to share it so please don't expect our advice to be tailored to your precise situation.

 

Good luck.

[1st_time_heartbreak]

Batya33,

 

I didn't mean to sound like I was rejecting your advice. Sorry about that. I wasn't, and I agree with you. I was just trying to explain my situation a bit more. I'm not comfortable with what is going on, and I don't think he should pursue a relationship with this woman, and it makes me feel like crap. I feel powerless. I know all the facts and figures and I am trying to do the mature thing, but it's hard. I know they talk to each other everyday, and it drives me nuts.

 

By the way, he cancelled his dinner plans after our talk and when I asked him why, he said that they would probably try to do something next week. He said they would probably go walk the dogs around the hike-n-bike trail, but he did not know when yet.