After reading some posts from men who have a women cheat on them....

[servedcold]

sorry, I was typing when you realized I was being sarcastic

 

Im normally quicker on the uptake. This thread is dredging up some bad memories of ex and ex-ex and riling me. Jeez, I hope I don't spin the wheel to a cheater next goround, it's really hard to spot em these days. Cheating is like an alien virus these days, "Invasion of the Booty Snatchers" or somesuch.

[JadedStar]

I would no more forgive a man for cheating any quicker or slower than i would expect him to forgive me.

 

To be honest i might forgive him eventually but not continue the relationship.

[shes2smart]

To be honest i might forgive him eventually

but not continue the relationship.

 

Forgive? Sure. Because hanging on to hurt, anger, bitterness only hurts the person who is holding on it. I won't do that to myself.

 

Ever allow him access to me or my life again? No way, no how.

[tray25]

I love it. Look at this discussion and name calling. This is priceless. I never said cheating from both sides wasn't wrong. I just stated the obvious------

When your girl cheats on you fellas, get rid of her right away.....This is for you young cats. But most of you already know this.

 

 

 

I won't piss on your head and tell you its raining. I have the courage to put threads like this out there. For that I don't think I should be threatened or called names for. If you disagree, cool. If you agree, cool. But no need to threaten me or call me names on private messaging.

 

I love you guys. Its always a good laugh here.

[JadedStar]

I love it. Look at this discussion and name calling. This is priceless. I never said cheating from both sides wasn't wrong. I just stated the obvious------

When your girl cheats on you fellas, get rid of her right away.....This is for you young cats. But most of you already know this.

 

 

 

I won't piss on your head and tell you its raining. I have the courage to put threads like this out there. For that I don't think I should be threatened or called names for. If you disagree, cool. If you agree, cool. But no need to threaten me or call me names on private messaging.

 

I love you guys. Its always a good laugh here.

 

You seem to only be posting for the shock factor. I don't know why this is making you so excited. It makes you seem that you are lacking excitement and getting it in this manner.

 

If you are getting threats on PM's you need to report it to a mod.

[Zorba]

I love it. Look at this discussion and name calling. This is priceless. I never said cheating from both sides wasn't wrong. I just stated the obvious------

When your girl cheats on you fellas, get rid of her right away.....This is for you young cats. But most of you already know this.

But do you know why?

 

 

I won't piss on your head and tell you its raining. I have the courage to put threads like this out there.

While I'm glad you put it up as it has sparked some debate, it hardly takes courage, unless the definition of same has changed and I didn't get the memo. Backing up your reasoning might help enlightening why you feel this way.

[Cimmie]

I have noticed with friends of mine that when the woman cheats it's far more likely to end the relationship. When a man cheats there does seem to be more of a chance, especially in very ong term relationships.

 

That is because of social customs rather than biological imperatives. A male is considered to be more valuable than a female (witness female infanticide in China, India and elsewhere). Even though such extreme practices are not carried on in the west, a male carries more social value than a female, so that a woman is more likely to 'forgive' (i.e. hang on with desperation) to a man who has cheated on her. This has to do with the relatively lower self-esteem of women and the traditional lack of financial opportunity open to her should her marriage end. Also, older women are less sexually 'valuable' so a woman who is aging is more likely to hang on to a cheating husband rather than gambling on finding someone else and starting over if she is past her prime. It's called 'biting the bullet'. A lot of women have to do it. Not me though.

 

 

[servedcold]

That is because of social customs rather than biological imperatives. A male is considered to be more valuable than a female (witness female infanticide in China, India and elsewhere).

 

So that's why men get the first seats on the lifeboat over the women (regardless of age) and children?

[Zorba]

There is much truth in that, especially economic. A lot has still to do with biological imperatives that go deeper than the social ones. The infanticide in those countries is largely down to the economics of power between the sexes.

 

A good example of biological imperatives is the status of the older woman that you mentioned. The older woman is considered less sexually "valuable" because of the biological difference in fertility. The man does have more opportunities to start another family at 40 or older than a woman and that is purely biological. Add social and financial pressures and it's another reason why women will stay after infidelity along with the other reasons. Sad and unfair but applicable.

[Zorba]

So that's why men get the first seats on the lifeboat over the women (regardless of age) and children?

Yes it's a funny thing but in evolutionary terms men are considered more expendable than women. There are more male babies born but more die and die younger, especially in the past. In tribal societies that can be very evident where high status males have more than one wife. Even low status males can as there are usually more reproductively available women in such societies and not enough males to go around(war, animal predation, riskier behaviour etc).

[Cimmie]

So that's why men get the first seats on the lifeboat over the women (regardless of age) and children?

 

Has to do with a largely Anglo-Saxon tradition of chivalry, heavily Christianity-influenced. In these days of equal opportunities in the workplace, chivalry is most definitely dead. If a woman earns more than you, why would you want to hold a door open for her? Let it slam in the cow's face...

[Zorba]

Has to do with a largely Anglo-Saxon tradition of chivalry, heavily Christianity-influenced.

True, but it goes further back than that and is found in cultures outside the ones you reference.

In these days of equal opportunities in the workplace, chivalry is most definitely dead.

I dunno, it isn't for me. What I consider to be the right and proper way to treat people, women included, no matter what it's origins, I will still do it.

If a woman earns more than you, why would you want to hold a door open for her?

Good manners mainly and her earning power or not matters little. I would extend the same courtesy to the woman who cleans the toilets as I would to the woman who is the CEO. In any case I don't hold the door open because she's a woman, I hold it open because I'm a man.

Let it slam in the cow's face...

Seems a tad harsh? I would also hold the door open for a man, as again it's good manners regardless of their status or the contents of their pants. If someone doesn't appreciate the gesture, I'm not bothered. I don't do it because of who or what they are, I do it because of who and what I am.

[JadedStar]

Seems a tad harsh? I would also hold the door open for a man, as again it's good manners regardless of their status or the contents of their pants. If someone doesn't appreciate the gesture, I'm not bothered. I don't do it because of who or what they are, I do it because of who and what I am.

 

ahh yes zorba, it's all about courtesy. I have seen men like this and they open doors for men or women - it is courteous. I do the same thing. I hold the door for anyone.

 

Courteous gestures are dying down dramatically - in men AND women.

I blame that on upbringing.

[Papillion]

i hold the door for everyone. its good manners.

 

hiya JS!

[ycmanvs]

Ehhhh I've been ranting on boringly in loads of indigestible, pretentious and pseudo intellectual posts on the last few pages explaining his position, or at least why his midbrain has vomited this forward to his frontal lobes and conjured up his opinion. Good God woman you're not even listening! Typical... Don't know why I bother. I was reading a good book at the time too.......

 

LOL, that is why I was addressing the OP and not you. I understand YOUR reasons for this statement, but I wanted his reasons, which so far are to see how many people will respond to his post.

The OP is very young and he was hurt by an ex, from what I understand from his previous threads. You are older, wiser, well read, etc., so I was not asking you to explain to me the evolutionary roles of men and women in society. I am well aware of the studies and arguments myself, so I was not really asking for clarification.

 

I see this thread as an interesting window into the OP's current mental state. Thus I was looking for his motivation......and would still like to pursue that train of thought if he actually decides to tell us what is currently going on in his life that makes him come to these conclusions about infidelity.

[Papillion]

and would still like to pursue that train of thought if he actually decides to tell us what is currently going on in his life that makes him come to these conclusions about infidelity.

 

dont hold yer breath.

 

i cant see that happening.

[tray25]

Ha ha. I am not too young. I have something called alpha male syndrome. Which keeps telling me to stay away from women who cheat on me if I have taken interest in them. I also have been a witness to many women who take back boyfriends who cheat on them. Why? Does the attraction level go up? It is much worse for a woman to cheat on a man. MUCH MUCH worse. Any one who disagrees is really living in a spirit world. MUCH MUCH MUCH worse to walk in on a man who is planting his seed in a woman you love. For God's sake, its not even comparable. But of course no man should ever cheat on his girl, ever. It hurts just the same, but physically, morally, psychologically and socially, in any culture or country, a woman who spreads her legs to another man in a deceitful way is devastating.

[tray25]

I love how most guys here agree with me but are "silent" as if they are going to piss off women who they never even met. LOL.... come on guys, its not that hard to tell these women what you really feel.

 

How many men in here would think that things would be the same if they walked in and some guy had your wife bent over a table and was planting his seed in her and then told you "hey, nice house" and walked out. Would things ever be the same?

 

I mean seriously, would she ever respect you if you took her back? LOL.

[tray25]

what is currently going on in my life? Here is a brief synopsis......

 

 

Okay, I got burned by this chick and I came to these forums. I then woke up one morning and realized "Holy BATMAN, I really should get over someone who doesn't like me!" It took seven months but I saw the light. I was devastated, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. You name it. Then I realized something......

 

Women want something they cannot have, or are afraid of losing. So I started seeing a few girls these last two weeks. Still alone mind you, and I refused to commit to all three. Oh my God, what happened you ask? Well, One calls me everyday, the other wants to impress me, and the third is asking if I have a girlfriend and why I won't date her. So it hit me......

 

Girls don't want nice guys. They want selfish guys they cannot have. So then I made a decision......Are you ready? The decision was that it is UP TO ME as a MAN to decide who or what I want to do with these women. I as the MAN decide who gets my attention....Who gets my love and my affection. AND guess what? All three like me more and more and more and more.......Imagine that. When I gave everything to the previous one, she started seeing other dudes.....Wow...Holy Batman.......Why? Because I was no longer a challenge....

 

 

That is my dating life right now. .....Would you like to hear more?

[ycmanvs]

Of course I would like to hear more. However, this type of strategy works for women as well. When a woman makes herself unavailable, a man likes the chase. It is unfortunate that you are stringing these women along because your ex hurt you.

I am not saying that casual dating is not acceptable, but you have to be honest with these girls and with yourself, as far as what you are looking for

in a relationship.

[WaterIsLife]

Girls don't want nice guys. They want selfish guys they cannot have.

 

I think your problem here is the girls you have been associating with my friend.

[tray25]

Not a strategy. Self Respect. THIS THREAD WAS FOR MAN (especially the young ones) TO RESPECT THEMSELVES AND NEVER TAKE BACK A WOMAN WHO CHEATED ON THEM.....

 

you guys get where I am coming from now? Not a chick, don't know how I would feel about a guy cheating on me. But I know that men committ violence and other senseless acts very easily with infidelity. Do women do this? Or do they go home and cry and say "what did I do wrong?"

[ycmanvs]

Not a strategy. Self Respect. THIS THREAD WAS FOR MAN (especially the young ones) TO RESPECT THEMSELVES AND NEVER TAKE BACK A WOMAN WHO CHEATED ON THEM.....

 

you guys get where I am coming from now? Not a chick, don't know how I would feel about a guy cheating on me. But I know that men committ violence and other senseless acts very easily with infidelity. Do women do this? Or do they go home and cry and say "what did I do wrong?"

 

Again, not to state the obvious, but self-respect applies to everyone. That is why we have so many No Contact threads and threads dealing with getting your sense of self back, etc.

Yes, women can get violent and even vindictive. As far as getting older goes, I tend to tolerate a lot more than I did when I was younger. This is true of my male counter parts. What seemed like cheating when I was 20.....is now just silly. For example, when I was 20, I could not even imagine my partner having friends of the opposite sex, now I am glad that he has a good relatioship (Friendship) with people of the opposite sex.

[tray25]

I know a girl who is married to a CUCKOLD and she is 21. He is 24. Everyone of my friends have had sex with her. Except me. No matter what the age, dont ever be a CUCKOLD....

 

 

Love that word...Should change the title to that....GOOD NIGHT MY FEMINIST FRIENDS!!!I love you all....Hugs and kisses...LOL

[Hopefloats]

Okay, I got burned by this chick

This, is the root of this entire problem.

 

You were burned and you are now generalizing and bitter.