I hate my parents arguing.

[Mysterious Gurl]

Hello everyone,

 

I just need to express my feelings at the moment.

 

Whenever my parents argue .. I always feel trapped in between. I love them both and I want to help but I can't. It's my mum who does about 90% of the shouting a majority of the time. Not only do I hear her hurling abuse, but so do the neibours. Because of this ... I sometimes feel really shy and embarrassed when I leave the house because I feel everyone looks at me. They look at me bewildered and with an expression of awkwardness. My mum uses a very colourful and sometimes sinister vocabulary towards my dad and I hate it more than I can say. I feel she's inconsiderate because she must feel that I want to hear what she's shouting and quite frankly ... I do not. I do not dare approach this matter because I'm too afraid of it spiraling into an endless argument. I even get worried that my friends on the phone can hear her shouting downstaires and I make out I have to ring off. What am I suppose to do. I hate them arguing. I feel so bad for my dad as well. I hate this and I hate when I leave home he's on his own.

 

Don't get me wrong, my mums great but when she has a temper ... everyone suffers. She has never raised a hand at us but her abuse is simply appauling and I feel ashamed because I can guarentee none of my friends parents shout.

 

No idea what to do.

 

Miya x

[pyromaniac]

well when my parents argue which they hardly ever do nomatter how made the argument is we all sit down and tell each other how it effects US and we sit and resolve the problem without yelling

[DN]

Try taping her. Then leave the tape and ask her to play it when you are not there.

 

She may be absolutely appalled at what she hears. Many times people have no idea what they sound like when they hurl abuse like that. They think they are being forceful but when they hear the anger, abuse and high-pitched voice from the tape machine they realise the truth - and often are ashamed.

[lovelyape]

My parents used to fight constantly when I was a preteen and teenager, just like you are describing. It would usually be started by my dad being inconsiderate (and drunk) and my mom blowing it of proportion and "defending" herself. My dad would never hit my mom, like you say your mom is not physically abusive, but sometimes my parents would throw things that were not breakable, or my dad would loom over my mom like he was going to restrain her and curse her out. Honestly, they love each other a bunch- I always knew they did- but they both have hot tempers and my dad used to drink too much which made him get angry instead of chilling out.

 

My older brother would never say anything to try to stop them, he'd simply sit in his room with the door closed and play video games. I was always at their side screaming at them to stop because it was childish. Eventually they would, but in the heat of the moment my anger at them didn't seem to matter because my mom would always be like, "Look, she agrees you are overreacting" to my dad and he would just get angrier. Recording them is not a bad idea, because once the anger is gone and they hear themselves they will realize how childish it is. One time when I was about 12 or 13, what I did when my dad was standing over my mom, was pick up a ceramic disk and throw it onto the ground, shattering it. Both my parents stopped in their tracks and paid attention to me then. I didn't get in trouble for doing it and I still remember doing that and how it changed them and it helped me feel proud of myself. I'd also always yell at them and be like "JUST GET DIVORCED ALREADY" and they would also stop when I'd do that- because they'd realize what they sounded like. You have to say or do something striking. Good luck.

[princessria_123]

don't worry, a lot of parents agrue. My parents divorced and they've barely talked to each other since. I can't even leave them alone in a room together cause it'd be a riot! lol My dad once punched a whole in the wall when he was angry which my mum then got angry to him about. They now live half the way accross the world from each other -australia and UK LOL

 

Some people just don't get on, and no matter how much you want them to, you cant force them to be happy, unfortunately. It's something you have to live with, avoid if possible, but try not to get involved with these fights because it only makes the situation worse -as i've learnt!