Teenage stepdaughter pregnant - advice sorely needed

[gj11235]

My significant other's 18 year old daughter has just announced that she is delightedly pregnant. She is a healthy enough girl, and so there aren't any major concerns on that front, but there are a number of other things preventing this from being a joyous occasion.

 

The mommy-to-be did graduate from high school, and has a part time job at a local gas station. She has no other income, and wishes to quit this job as soon as possible to be a full time mother.

 

She currently lives with her father and I, and her younger sister.

 

Her plan seems to be that she will live at home, and that we will provide for her and the baby financially.

 

(Tragically, this is the sort of attitude that carries her mother through life... but that's another story for another day. It goes without saying that her mother will be providing no help whatsoever.)

 

While the prospective father is around, they don't intend to marry. He does work, but his income is not enough to support the both of them. His family wants nothing at all to do with the mommy-to-be, or the situation as a whole.

 

Her father and I are in a complete jam. He is furious with her for this lack of responsibility, but of course is not going to toss her out on the street. He wants to support her, but not be taken complete advantage of.

 

Is there anything - anything at all - that anyone out there can recommend to help get this girl into a responsible mindset? For the years leading up to her graduation, we tried to interest her in schooling or career education, but she would have none of it. She has made it plain that she does not want to support herself.

 

Personally, I can't fathom her way of thinking, and I have no idea how to guide her now.

 

Has anyone out there dealt with a child or stepchild like this?

[RayKay]

Oh boy.

 

That is a VERY difficult situation.

 

Honestly, it may be tough for both you and her father, but I think that you are going to have to practice some tough love here. It will be hard as she is your daughter...and it is going to be your grandchild, but she cannot expect to be able to just decide to stay home full time and count on you and your husband to support her and the baby.

 

I think you are going to have to tell her right now, that that is just not going to happen. I am sorry, but she is an adult, and she is also soon to be a mother, and as such it is her responsibility to take care of her child. It is one thing to ask for help when needed (like some babysitting while she is at work) but it is completely out of line for her to expect you to support her and the baby without her contributing.

 

Now, she may be able to remain at home living there if that is agreeable to you both, but she absolutely must find ways to provide for her child and herself in some way.

 

I am not sure why she is this way, or what boundaries have been set up for her in life that have caused her to feel this entitlement, but obviously it is something that cannot continue forever and she needs to take responsibility for HER choices. I suspect she may have been coddled a bit too much already by this point.

 

I also hate to approach this, but honestly if she has no plan to support herself and the child, and no desire to, this may be something you may need to get Child & Family Services involved (and apply for guardianship with yourselves or other family) in at some point if she continues that mindset at risk of the child. You do not bring a baby into the world expecting others to take care of it.

 

I am sorry, but I really think this has to be a tough love situation. I have no idea why she thinks she can expect you two to provide for her and HER child, but I think that is an expectation you need to put an end too.

[gj11235]

Thanks, RayKay.

 

Unfortunately, I'm afraid it will be easier to say than to do!

 

She isn't a meanspirited girl, but is very selfish and selfcentered. Adding a layer of complication to the surface is this: a friend of hers, who is two years older, had a baby boy last fall. This friend's parents tried to straighten the girl out before the baby was born, but with no success.

 

In the drama that ensued, they found it was easier to give in than keep working, and set the girl and the baby up in an apartment of her own, bought a car for her, and have consigned themselves to handing out more whenever the baby requires.

 

I am sure that our mommy-to-be believes that if she sticks to her principles, she will see the same result. [Her mother's influence figures heavily here, unfortunately.] We are determined not to take that end, but I don't think we could actually put her out of the house, and that may be what's required.

[RayKay]

The worst part in that is that it is really the kids whom suffer, because it starts a cycle. What would happen if her parents lost their financial stability and she could not provide for herself and child? She would end up on welfare and with CFS involved.

 

What kind of principles is the CHILD going to learn?

 

This is why it is important you set those boundaries clear and strong and stick to them. I know tough love is tough on everyone...not just the one it is "enacted" on! We had to enact that tough love on my younger brother many years ago and don't get me wrong, there was a rock bottom before a high, and it was difficult on everyone not to jump in and "rescue him". He is today however a wonderful, self supporting, independent young man - he recently bought a condo with his partner, works full time and is back in college part time.

[RayKay]

I wanted to add, you can see she is being selfish in she is clearly not thinking of the childs best interests here either, and what that child deserves from her as a parent. I grew up in household where money was very tight...my mother was a single parent with three kids for quite a while and she worked hard to make ends meet and made many sacrifices....but I am forever fiercely proud and appreciative of her and it is clear she did the very best she could, and even if we did not have much, I am so thankful for what we did, and how hard she worked. I learned many of my values and principles from seeing her do what she had to do.

 

I will say, I would of felt far differently if she expected her parents to just take care of us all for her!

 

My best friend got pregnant when she was 16, she really wanted to keep the baby, but also lived at home, was still in school and could not afford to give the child what they needed. Nor could the boyfriend. It was hard for her to do, but she gave the baby up for adoption, to a family she was able to choose via open adoption.

 

I always have been proud of her for that choice, knowing how "selfless" it really was because I definitely know she loved that baby dearly.

[avman]

I really, really would not automatically become a bank of withdrawal for this girl. Otherwise she's simply going to sponge off of you for life and you'll end up forking out everything because "I need it for the baby".

 

If she refuses to support herself, yet she knows she can live with you and you'll provide for her - well then what incentive does she have to change her mind? None! You can threaten all you want but if there is no teeth to the threat she'll just laugh it off.

 

As her parents/stepparents you are enabling her behavior by your own actions. Thus you are also a cause of this problem (I think you already realize this).

 

As much as this is going to hurt, you will have to administer some tough love in this case. Though you say you aren't going to throw her in the street, that is exactly what you are going to have to be prepared to do. She needs to know this is a real consequence, otherwise you may as well get ready to keep forking out the money and supporting her.

 

Sit her down and lay out a timetable for what you expect her to do. After the baby is born, she must get a job by x date (allowing time for her recovery of course). She must pay you rent and board in the amount of $x per month and make this a realistic number. She is to pursue a child support order from the father and you will assist her in that process.

 

If she does not do these things, you will evict her after a period of x months and pursue legal custody of your grandchild.

 

I'm not kidding here, you'll need to be ready to actually go through with it or this will never work. She needs to learn some responsibility and the only way to do that is to have very serious consequences if she blows it off. She's not going to be happy about this so be ready for harsh words, tears, threats, and her generally being extremely unpleasant throughout. But this is the short term pain you are going to have to put up with for the long term payoff of teaching her how to be a responsible adult.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

i agree with everything Raykay is saying... and i agree with tough love.

 

We had to do tough love with my sister..and it was hard ... but in the end everything worked out and she is doing really well.

 

With regards to your step daughter... if she never learns that her way of thinking is wrong ..then she will always rely on others to take care of her... but if you force her to take care of herself... then she learns an entirely new set of values and view points.

 

At this point ..she has some time to make changes.. let her know that it is unacceptable for her to not work ...that she chose to have a child she needs to find the means to buy it diapers, food, clothes... etc.

 

You didn't choose to get pregnant ..she did ... so why should take all of the responsibility?

 

At this point ..if you and your husband don't put your foot down...you'll both probably end up caring for this child while your step daughter meanders through life with her head in the clouds.

[russ978]

First of all, I can certainly see the worst case scenerio of this leading to you leaving your boyfriend.

 

If she's only 18 and plans to be living at home with you guys, I wouldn't expect her to grow up much. You and your boyfriend will end up babysitting the baby while she's out 'living it up' at the bars and clubs with either her current beau or the eventual new man either of who may more may not end up giving her another child.

 

If she has made it plan that she doesn't want to support herself and has a baby on the way I would never tolerate it and it sounds like you don't want to. She wants to quit her job at the gas station and be a stay at home mother? Most likely she is thinking that being a stay at home mother is easy street. I know that it isn't and her job as a full time mother will be 10 times as difficult as the gas station. More than likely, you would get a fair amount of the new chores that she just wouldn't 'feel' like doing. You might want to tell her to get in contact with the Section 8 Housing People over at HUD who might be able to help her out with some assistance finding government housing.

 

This is a horrible situation and I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. How long have you been with your boyfriend? If its less than two years and the daughter ends up sticking around to have the kid and live in your house, not many people out there would fault you for leaving him which while I'm sure isn't what you want, you shouldn't have to deal with this. You should be living a live with him, perhaps raising your own children, not playing full time nanny to the future child. Hopefully, he is man enough to tell his daughter what he will accept in his household. It sucks, but tough love is the way to go on this one. This is all about the kid who will need a mother who is a responsible adult that can properly raise a child. This is really headed in a bad direction from what I've read. Hopefully, she won't end up being a leech of society but it sounds like that is where this is headed.

 

That poor child.

 

PS: I just re-read what you wrote, you said signficant other so I assumed not husband but but boyfriend. If you are married to the guy, this is as much your decision as it is his. Is he your boyfriend or your husband?

[Kalika]

I agree with RayKay. You need to assert some major tough love right away, otherwise this girl will ruin you and your SO's life. If you don't get really hard on her really quick, and make her come up with a plan, this situation is just going to get worse. The fact that she's thrilled about the pregnancy and already making plans to do absolutely nothing to care for the child doesn't bode well for you.

 

She needs to work. She doesn't have the luxury of sitting on her A every day while everyone else supports her financially. She has done absolutely nothing to earn your help with raising her child. I think you need to tell her that you're willing to provide support if she goes to school. Otherwise, she needs to be on her own. That means finding a decent job and working full time like everyone else on the planet has to do, and raising the baby herself.

 

I must add that it seems as though you and your SO have, at some point, done something to give her the idea that this would be acceptable for her to do. Have you caved into her demands in the past? Has she done major things like this in the past that you've had to clean up? It seems like there's a precedent that's been set already that allowed this to happen.

 

Again, if something isn't done about this soon, you and your SO will end up raising her child alone. Your stepdaughter seems to have some serious issues and needs to get her attitude checked.

[gj11235]

Thank you all for your advice.

 

Russ978, we are committed, but both of us are divorced, and our previous marriages soured the name of matrimony for us. (Something of a long story... we are legally entwined enough to be married, but we don't like to use 'husband' or 'wife').

 

And, while I appreciate your points, I'm not looking for a way out. I'm just over my head on this one!

 

Kalika, her primary example in this has been her mother - who still believes that this is a good approach to life. Her mother is an unbalanced woman who has no sense of responsibility, and still has not learned to take care of herself. No matter how low her mother falls, someone always steps in to help her and bail her out. Not 4 months ago, this woman bounced a bunch of checks (again), had her car reposessed (again), and rather than straighten her bills and life out, she begged her own mother to buy a car for her.... which she (my stepdaughter's grandmother) ultimately did.

 

The example that her mother (and her mother's family) sets has been our largest challenge in raising these girls.

[truthbetold]

Ok, I don't even know where to start. First I guess don't let everyone tell you that you are an enabler or that it's you and your SO's fault that she is acting the way she is. I got pregant just before I turned 20, but my situation was a lot different. My mother though thought she was an enabler because she let my boyfriend live in the house with us for a few months. She also assumed that because I had to leave my job (because my car broke) and then found out that I was pregnant that I would not get out and get another job. But I tried, and well that's another story. But don't let them say those things, it's not because of how she was raised, maybe only to some extents but not all. She is the way she is because that's who she is.

 

Anyways, I agree with the tough love. I got tough love but I believe my parents did it VERY wrong. I was willing to go out and get a job, I tried and got 3 job interviews for career jobs. Although by the time I got them I was showing and got turned down. I tried until I was 7 or 8 months pregnant and then my doctor told me to wait because of pregnancy problems, but my mother remained on my case. She felt that I needed to have a job before the baby was born because my b/f lost his job after an injury and couldn't go back to work until just before the baby was born.

 

Secondly everytime my mother and I had an argument she tossed me out to the street, the whole time I was pregnant I was going back and forth from friends and relatives places. It was very stressful and unneeded, it anything I would say show the support but stand strong on your issues, if you are fighting about not doing dishes or laundry it's not a reason to kick the girl out, it's just a reason to stay strong and continue to say if you do not get these done we will have to evict you or whatever.

 

Don't give in! Show her that she does have to figure it out on her own. I was forced into that situation myself because of unfortunate circumstances where me and her father weren't working we had to figure out alternate ways to get the things we needed for her (government assistance). But this girl seems like she may abuse the system if she gets on it. Just whatever you do don't give in, if you can help, help. A can of formula, some diapers, that's ok just DON'T do it all the time. I think relatives should help every once in a while but never all the time, it's not your responsibility it's hers, and she will realize that as soon as the baby's born hopefully. It's like a smack of reality, if she doesn't realize that the baby depends on her for everything love, comfort, food, changing, bathing, etc. Then maybe you should step in with child services because she would not be cut out for her motherly job.

 

But again don't set rules and then change them either, for example my mother and I were arguing about something I don't remember what now. It was after my baby was born too, she was a few months old, and when I told her I had places to go if she did she got angry and told me that if I went to live with her father or a friend she was going to try and get custody of my child. So don't force her out and then say what she's doing is wrong (unless it's putting the baby in danger of course) Because if she is at her friends house or where ever it's alot easier for them to say no to things, and she will have to shape up and do what she's gotta do in order to keep her baby.

 

I don't know if that helped any but I hope it helped some.

[beauty21]

If she wants to be a stay at home mother and it's okay with her father, then he would be the one financially supporting her, not me. She is 18 years old, she needs to learn some responsiblity. She is the one that laid on her back and got pregnant and she'd be the one coming out her pockets to support the baby. Of course, when the baby is born you and your SO will be more than happy to pay for everything, but a couple of months later you will get tired and make her get off her butt and take care of her baby. You two won't be around forever. So she needs to get her head out the clouds and be a woman.

[gj11235]

Truthbetold, thank you very much for sharing your story.

 

If you were able to talk to her, what advice would you give her? Her due date is still about 6 months away.

[truthbetold]

Well here goes:

 

Coming from one teenaged mom to another, I think you need some advice. If you think you can sit around all day taking care of your child and not have any income from yourself or the baby’s father, you are living in a dream world. If you think you can depend on government assistance I would like to tell you the hard truth. Government assistance is not what it’s cracked up to be. It can help you out but not as much as you would think. At least in my area but I’m sure it’s all over, either you or the baby’s father would have to sign up for job classes where they help to get you a good job. They only allow you to stay on state assistance for two years no matter what your hardship because too many people abuse the system. You cannot save any money because if you have or open a bank account they will find out and they will stop giving you money. And beware because if you don’t pay attention they can give you more money then they are supposed to and you will owe them back. My boyfriend and I owed the state over 400 dollars because they messed up, and even worse I got my assistance turned off because I cashed a lottery ticket for a friend. But that’s another story. I’m not saying you would do that because I don’t know you but I’m just saying it’s really easy to be shut off, and it’s really easy to think you can live off government assistance but it’s not. It will buy the baby diapers, and it will buy the baby formula and things, but it will not add up and then what will you do 2yrs from now?

 

 

You cannot depend on your family to help you out with everything either. It’s not their responsibility it’s yours. A baby is very overwhelming and in the beginning they will help because the baby will overwhelm you too. They love you so they will take the baby to give you breaks or whatever, but you can’t expect them to bend over backwards to make sure you get a fun night out. I haven’t had a single one yet and my baby is 10 months old! You cannot rely on your family to buy your baby things when you need it. There are bills to pay and their money is their money not yours. Don’t be a mooch! Contribute, and compromise. Do things around the house, look for a part time job, trust me, I love my daughter to death but without a part time job I would’ve went nuts by now. I pay my mom 200 dollars a month to live in the house, I buy my own food, and things for the baby. Yeah it sucks because it’s still really hard to save money when I have to spend everything I make just to live and keep my baby living also, but it’s better than the alternative.

 

 

I think you or even the baby’s father need to step up to the plate and do what’s right. If you won’t listen to this now I know that when you look into that baby’s eyes for the first time you will cry, and you feel the love and warmth they bring. Feeling that unconditional love is what you need to motivate you to get up and do what you need to do. Getting a job after having a baby is hard, because you don't want to leave your baby but you have to remember it's for the best. And when you get tired because you are working and you have to wake up late at nite a million times to feed them or change them, don't get too aggrivated remember why you got the job, remember that they depend on you for everything, they cannot feed themselves, dress themselves, bathe themselves, or change themselves that's your job. Me, although my b/f had a job, and my parents were discouraging me from getting a full time job, I got one 4 months after my baby was born because it was around Christmas time and I realized that I didn’t want the presents to just be from my family, and my boyfriend. I wanted some to be from me. It doesn’t matter that at that young age the baby won’t remember it, it’s the fact that you will. And you don’t even realize how much better you will feel about yourself knowing that you can do what’s right for your child. Don’t you want to be the mom who goes out with your child for the day and just has the money to buy that ice cream cone they wanted, or the toy they’ve been talking about for weeks. Trust me it’s not the same when your parents or relatives buy your child things. It’s a whole different feeling knowing that your baby depends on you for everything and that you can give them that.

 

 

 

 

 

I know it's long but I never really thought about it before but I guess that is what I would say if I could talk to her right now. Hope it helps!

[Kalika]

GJ -

 

It sounds like you've had a lot of challenges w/ your stepdaughter just because of her mother. Please, PLEASE do not allow her to become like her mother. Give her a deadline to find a job and move out. If you have to, tell her that the baby stays and she can move out if she refuses to follow your rules.

 

I got pregnant at 19 and my parents did the tough love thing, but they didn't have to fight me because I was eager to finish school. They told me I could live with them as long as I was in school. As soon as I was done, I was out on my own. I graduated with my B.A. at the top of my class because I knew I didn't have a choice. Now I am on my own and life is hard, but I have the satisfaction of easing my parents' minds about my future. They know I'll be okay and I'm not dependent on them or anyone else. My son is a happy and thriving kid now.

 

Set a deadline for her and make her follow it. She has to either go to school or work full time. That's the cold harsh reality for single mothers all over the world and because she chose to be one, she needs to own up to her destiny. She's not allowed to be stupid any more because now she's going to take her baby down with her and that's not fair at all.

[gj11235]

Thanks again to all for your advice. We sat down with her again last night, but I fear most of it went in one ear and out the other.

 

Her father and I had a long talk after, to prepare ourselves to present the hardened front I'm afraid we're going to need.

 

Truthbetold, thank you so very much for your message. I have printed it out, and am saving it for a moment when I think she may be ready to listen.

 

p.s. Her mother has now offered to take her in... if her father and I will guarantee the mommy-to-be's portion of her rent and expenses. Neither of them understand why we aren't agreeing to this.

[Kalika]

p.s. Her mother has now offered to take her in... if her father and I will guarantee the mommy-to-be's portion of her rent and expenses. Neither of them understand why we aren't agreeing to this.

 

Maybe you can say instead that you'll start saving money for the baby to go to college, or something like that, but that you're not going to give her money and reward her for doing something so irresponsible. If they can't understand that, who cares? Bottom line: She has to take care of herself one day, and in order to do that, she needs to have education or skills. Handing over money to someone who doesn't want to work hard wont help her out any in the long run.

[truthbetold]

Your welcome

 

Stick to your guns and do not give her money to live elsewhere. I would LOVE if my parents would do that for me but they would NEVER do that, with a baby or without. It's not their responsibility and it's hers, she is 18 and that's an adult, she is old enough to take care of herself, and if she cannot then she is not old enough to take care of another human being.

 

And to something you wrote in a previous post she has a friend who got everything by not backing down. Don't give in like they did. Well I have a friend who had her baby 2 weeks before mine. Since the day she found out she was pregnant her parents caved. They bent over backwards to buy her a car, and when she quit her job they started giving her money for gas so she could hang out with her friends, or get fast food, or go to the mall to buy things for herself and the baby. I thought it was a load of crap! I wasn't even upset that my parents weren't doing that for me but I was completely outraged with her, and how she still thought they weren't helping her out at all. She got upset once because she couldn't go out to eat with her friends because her parents didn't have money that day. I yelled and screamed at her and tried to tell her how much worse I had it because my parents didn't give me money or anything else, not that I expected one penny from them. And afterward I came to found out that standing their ground and making me do what I had to do on my own, made me a stronger better person. Yes I may not have the best job, and I may not have the best baby's father, and I may not have the money all the time to get what I need, but I can sit there like an adult and ask my parents for help. I can offer to pay them back, but they never make me now because they know I only ask when I really need help. Since the day my baby was born I haven't went out with my friends, and I haven't spent a single dime on myself, besides obviously food but that's it.

 

You and your SO definitely need to stand your ground so she will learn a lesson. It may take longer than you expect, but don't give up. And of course there's always a chance that it won't work at all because of the kind of person she is, you cannot always change people for the better, but you can try your hardest. I wish you luck, I know how you must feel, I didn't think I was that bad when I got pregnant but I still know I put my mom through alot and I thank her for doing the things she did. It did help me whether it was done entirely right or not.

[TheFoglifter]

In my opinion, there are a couple of things that might help.

 

The absolute first thing you need to do is get on a united front with your boyfriend. I am not sure the status of your relationship is (I'm assuming pretty serious, serious enough that you have a strong say in this) but odds are a LOT of things will happen that could drive a wedge between you (if she is a smart girl, she will use this strategy against you, to gain points with her father).

 

You may also want to discuss exactly how and who will be at liberty to discuss this issue. What I mean is, are there some issues that your boyfriend himself needs to stand firm on, are there some that are better coming from you? I know how difficult it can be with family, and I did this once with my gf. We had a family member who wanted to move in, and we decided that the most effective strategy was for me to play the hard-ass, and her to be softer but still deliver the same message.

 

While she is early on in the pregnancy, MAKE her volunteer at some kind of shelter for either destitute single teen mothers, or children without homes. I always felt a lot of people could stand to spend some time amongst those who have it much worse than they do. She needs to see just how bad it can be.

 

Before you start issuing commands, ask her what her plans are. I am not sure you had this official conversation, I think you just pieced it together. Ask her how she plans to support the baby (see if she actually has the wontons to say "oh I figured you guys would pay").

 

Best of luck.

[beauty21]

My little sister got pregnant at 15. My parents were furious. She was only in 11th grade and failing at that. When the baby arrived my mom, she took care of the baby financially and in the meantime my lil sis had to find a job who would take her at 15. Well she has now, (the baby is 9 months now), and she is doing what she is supposed to do. She's going to school, about to graduate soon and she is working and attending night school for classes she has to pass.

 

My mom worked with her, until she found herself a job to support her baby. And we all pitch in and help babysit when my sister works and go to school. My mother made it very clear to her, when my sis told her she was pregnant that she would be taking care of her baby as soon as she has it and get a job. And she wasn't playing, and my sis knew she wasn't playing. Even though she get's no help from the father or his family my niece has all of us, and we love her with all of our hearts.

 

My sister, she is doing well for herself at 16 and a baby. She is staying focused and doing the right thing, because my parents were straight up with her and didn't give her any sympathy as when my mom was young and got pregnant my grandma made her get an abortion. All I'm saying is your step-daughter needs to start thinking about her future and her baby's future.

[titanic]

New to this site and i have a similar situation. My stepdaughter is 16 and has dropped out of school 2 years ago (her biological mother said that she shouldnt have to do anything that she doesnt want to do)With that being said on Jan 1st 09 she came to our house for somthing to eat because her mother refused to buy groceries and i told her father to get a preg test because she kept typing in her msn nick that she was sick again...so she is a 16yr old with a grade 8 education and either her or her 20yr old boyfriend want to work. her father insisted that she stay with us so that she could get the proper care. She doesnt even consider me or my 18yr old daughter family...but i am always doing and am the one that is always there for her...it hurts me a lot. So he is has and iv drug prob coke and dope. She has the attitude that she can get free support by welfare and neither her or her boyfriend have to work. She says that he has stoped 3 weeks ago. She is roughly 6wks or so and basically tried to get preg-i say this because she had a scare about 3 months ago and they use the infamous withdrawl method and use no condoms or birth control. I guess that i am not helping you by telling you that you are not alone. She knows that my husband and myself have been trying to have a child and i feel that she is using this against us, expecting that whatever she does wrong or unaceptable behavior will be excused. Any suggestions on how we can remain backbone intact and not arguing about my stepdaughter 24-7 thanks

[Sky-Cherries]

Whether you want to or not, you're going to be dishing out most, if not all, of the cash for this baby.

 

Sure, you says she has to get a job after the kid's born.....who's buying the stuff it needs while she's pregnant?

Cot, clothing, hospital bills, new clothes for her, food for her, bottles, nappies, wipes, medicine, toys.....and believe me, she'll bleed you for every penny she can while you're offering.

 

"Oh, but I need it for the baby. You don't want to deny your GRANDCHILD, do you?" will become a popular phrase in your house.

 

And who's going to be stuck with the brat while she's at work?

Daycare?

A babysitter?

Guess who'll be paying for that, too.