questions/worries about HIV (mature content)

[miss_confused99]

I'll try to keep the story short and get to the questions. A guy I dated for about 8 months a few years ago contacted me today and told me he has HIV. We never actually had intercourse but we did make-out quite a bit and had oral sex twice. I've shown no symptoms of infection. It's been almost 3 years since we broke up, so I think I would have had some symptom by now if I was infected...wouldn't I? Should I be tested? I've been in relationship with someone else for over a year. The relationship has included unprotected sex. Should I discuss it with her? Should she be tested? My partner had been tested a couple of years ago because she had been with someone who didn't tell her he had HIV until after they had sex, but they used a condom and she's tested negative, but I know it was very hard on her and I don't want to upset her if everything is ok. I'm just not sure what I should do. My exposure to the virus was minimal. I don't think it's likely I have HIV. Thoughts? Anyone?

[Mavis VDSande]

I'd get a test. And I would let her know. It's not your fault that you were with this man years ago and yes, it's unfortunate to have to go thru this again, but it's better you both do, then feel sorry if anything happens in the future.

 

If might be a good idea to both be tested again - just for peace of mind.

[comfyshoes]

I agree. The only way to put your mind at ease is to get a test. I think that both of you should be tested. Is your partner someone you can talk to easily about this kind of thing (given that they have gone through it themself)?

 

At least this person has had the cogones to contact you and let you know the score. It doesn't do much to give you peace of mind right now, but they could just have easily not bothered.

 

hope all goes well for you both.

 

shoes

[rose2summer]

There is an HIV test that gives results in 20min.

 

Maybe asking your dr. about that test would give you rapid peace of mind.

 

Hugs, Rose

[annie24]

get a HIV test. absolutely. it is possible to have the virus without displaying any symptoms, even for this long. the good news is that it's more difficult to contract HIV through kissing and oral sex (vs. anal and vaginal sex) so the odds are in your favor. get tested for your peace of mind.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

I hate to scare you but you can contract HIV via oral sex, either having oral sex with a man or woman. You have engaged in very risky behavior. I would get tested ASAP and get retested in 6 months. A test can show up negative at first and appear months later. It just depends on the individual and his/her viral load if indeed he/she has the virus.

 

I also recommend you read up on HIV and how it is transmitted. It is not only transmitted via intercourse.

[Honey Pumpkin]

I would agree that you should get tested, but I don't think you are high risk, but still it's important to get tested to put your mind at ease.

 

Regarding your partner, I think you're saying both of you are women? You are incredibly unlikely to pass the HIV virus to each other: "Lesbians/bisexual women are not at high risk of contracting HIV through woman-to-woman sex. Very few women are known to have passed HIV on to other women sexually"

 

Get tested for your peace of mind, because it will gnaw away at you until you find out. But I think that you're probably going to be okay, as oral sex is lower risk anyway.