Age gap!! Good or bad idea??? Help

[DragonGirl724]

an adult manipulating the mind of a child. this makes me sick!

 

he is a definitely a pedophile...what would you say if your dad was making out with teenagers!!!! you can't tell your parents,....why?....because theyd have him arrested as he should be. well, that is if your dad doesn't tear him apart limb by limb first.

 

this is wrong, you know it, he knows it and I wouldnt be surprised if he molests his own children. He clearly has a sick tendency to be attracted to young children.

 

you need to wake up...and soon!

 

-DG724

[metrogirl]

Isn't it sweet, the dirty old man and the little girl have decided to wait until she is 18 before they do anything...........

 

He's smooth, waiting until she turns 18 so he doesn't get in trouble with the law.

 

Just wondering how he would feel if some perv was trying to have a go with his daughter????

[wandy27]

k u ask for advise but all we say u try to shut down or excuse it with ur cousin.... so then what u want from us? what u want us to say? yes thats great sorry but we cant we know is wrong and we cant say what u wanna hear ; / he is wrong and we all know it ....if he really wanted u serious why dont he approach ur parents? cause he know he is very wrong and i hope when ur dad finds out he would whip his buttt for being such a pervert

[Metallica Lightning]

Oh God.

 

This is definitely serious. I am close to that man's age and I don't date women under 40! I don't even like interacting with 17 year old girls. No offense to you of course, but how can a grown man with CHILDREN see an adolescent as anything more than maybe a mutual friend? It doesn't make sense. There is something wrong wit hthis man, and you need to alert an authority.

[WhiteForest]

k u ask for advise but all we say u try to shut down or excuse it with ur cousin.... so then what u want from us?

 

Go back and read this thread again. The OP did not tell the story of her cousin, I did. I am not condoning their relationship either. I do not know the OP nor the man she is seeing. Actually, from reading her post, she still seems to talk like a 17 year old. My cousin was very different, she has always been extremely mature for her age. It wasn't something my cousin and her husband planned, he was actually shocked by his actions too. It was something neither of them could help...they felt a very strong connection. It works for them because she is very family oriented, she has no desire to hang out or do what most people her age enjoy. And he is a wonderful husband and father. In fact, my entire family has so much respect for him because he is one of the most wonderful people in this world.

 

This girl came here for advice...she didn't come her for us to act exactly how her parents would. We should be asking about their relationship and getting more details before we start automatically lecturing her. All that is going to do is turn her away from us.

 

Look at this thread and read some of these comments. Some people have completely insulted this man, this girl will probably never come back and we have most likely failed in helping her. I'm not saying our advice would have been to continue seeing him, but we have gone about this all wrong.

[WhiteForest]

This relationship IS safe. i am not going to tell my paents yet because i do not feel that it is the right time. i was looking for supportive advice rather that people saying things like the comments i have got.

but thank you to "djedix"

xxxxx

 

This is from the OP after only 2 hours here. She hasn't been back since.

[DragonGirl724]

I really want to know how this OP would feel if her dad was dating a 17 year old. so please share with us your thoughts...

 

REALITY CHECK: This man gets his rocks off by dating children whom he wants to have sex with and he is only holding out so he doesn't get arrested for his sick twisted behaviors.

 

regardless they are still sick and twisted.

 

I hope he gets what's coming to him....a solid ***kickin by your dad!

 

-DG724

[-x-kj-x-]

In answer to your question dragongirl724 i think as long as my dad was happy with this "girl" then i would be ok with it. i would be a little bit weird about calling her mum, but would still talk to her. But as my mum and dad are in a happy relationship i do not have to worry about this.

 

i came on here to ask your advice, but instead "whiteforest" is right you have all been insulting him. i have read stories worse than this when the age gap was bigger and i do not feel this was bad. i think as long as two people love eachother then the age gap should not matter.

 

Also in answer to your questionabout not telling my mum it is not that i think it is wrong, i just don't know how to tell her not that i don't want to. i want ed advice on how to tell her not MOST of the people on here reffering to him as a pervert!

[WhiteForest]

Glad to see you're back...there is no easy way to tell your mother. You will just have to say it. You want to make sure she is not stressed about anything when you tell her though. Prepare yourself, she will most likely not take this well. Just stay calm and try not to get too upset if she makes insulting comments.

 

Good Luck!!!

[-x-kj-x-]

Thankyou Whiteforest for your comment we are planning to tell her soon as i think i now have the courage to tell her.thankyou again i hope it goes well xxxx

[Daligal83]

I think it's great that you want to tell your mother. It's definitely the right thing to do.

 

I know you are offended by what people have said here. But I think that if you are really going to pursue this relationship with this man, it's something you need to get used to. I'm not saying this to be mean, but our opinions here are not much different than people you will run into in your everyday life. People will comment and have their opinions. If you end up staying with him for the long haul, you're going to encounter this a lot. Just something to prepare yourself for.

[wandy27]

no body is insulting u hun.....we are insulting him for putting his eyes on a underage girl...im sorry if u felt as if we where attacking u it wasnt no one intension and if u look we aint insulting u at all we actually are concern many of us are adults here that have at one time been where u are or know a friend that has been.....u ask what we thought about the age gap and we answered maybe it wasnt the answer u wanted to hear but they were our opinion u can take our advice and use them or u can not and learn the hard way in the end its all ur decision hope u make a wise one and all the best of luck in the future ; )

[-x-kj-x-]

Well the good news is that his children now know, we have just told them today. we are planning on telling my parents and his ex-wife later on today.

 

Thankyou for all your comments but "wandy27" i did not say that you were insulting me, i said you were insulting him as several of you reffered to him as a "pervert"

thankyou xxxxx

[tomtommyboy]

Please post back and let us know how you get on with your parents. You may think we're hostile but we're not - everyone who's posted is concerned for you, or why would they bother? I for one really want to know how this works out, and hope strongly that you're not damaged or hurt by it in the process.

 

Calling him a "pervert" is simply many people's instinctive reaction to this (not mine incidentally). Daligla made an excellent point: you have to prepare yourself for many, many other people reacting like this in your life if you choose to pursue this relationship. Something to think carefully about.

[DragonGirl724]

xkjx

 

you think WE are being 'insulting' okay, well when reality strikes you'll be insulted and grossed out that this man is trying to take advantage of you.

 

and you will realize one day that this isn't healthy. If it was he'd make it public knowledge.

 

I do commend you on telling your mom, but take my advice just come right out and say it, there is NO amount of sugar coating this situation that will make your parents think for one minute that it is okay.

 

As for his kids knowing (and being okay with it!?!)...I don't know what to tell you -they're just as young and confused as you are. And I will stand my ground with the idea that he could have even carried on a sexual relationship with them. Even more so now if they feel that this isn't the least bit offensive and strange to them at all...'oh its ok dad kissed me and I'm younger, he can kiss her'. It would be the only explanation as to why they think this is okay and acceptable.

 

The thought that a 40 something yr old "MAN" is having sexual thoughts and has sexual desires to carry out with a 17 year old TEENAGER just makes me cringe!!

 

 

 

goodluck with your parents and the Ex Wife!

 

 

-DG724

[DragonGirl724]

And I agree with tomtommyboy...everyone will call him a pervert the second you 2 step out in public together and kiss, hold hands, go on a 'date' etc.

 

If you stay away from dates and public affection then everyone will just think that he is your father...and well, that's just a lovely thought.

 

-DG724

[flipmo]

I myself love older men. I had a crush on a man in his forties who had a wife and children. I'm pretty damn sure he felt the same, but there comes a time when you just need to realise, no matter what you feel, the relationship is pretty much doomed before it's even begun. It's really hard, but the less attached you are the less hurt you will be in the long run.

[-x-kj-x-]

thank you all for your kind comments. i managed to tell my parents about the relationship and with their comments and yours i chose to end the relationship!

Thankyou very much i feel that it is better to get out of it now before it was too late.

thanks again xxxxxx

[flipmo]

thank you all for your kind comments. i managed to tell my parents about the relationship and with their comments and yours i chose to end the relationship!

Thankyou very much i feel that it is better to get out of it now before it was too late.

thanks again xxxxxx

 

I'm so glad you were able to realise that and do it for yourself!

Well done, it's good you seem so positive about it also

[still hurting]

You definitely did the right thing by talking to your parents and listening to what they had to say...I am so happy for you. It takes alot of courage and strength to do what you did and I'm glad you're getting out before it's too late! Don't worry, you're still very young and you will find Mr. Right one day and you will be glad that you waited for him!

[DragonGirl724]

thats great Im glad to hear you took the advice that was given to you.

 

kudos!

 

 

I wish you all the best.

 

-DG724

[MyNinja]

great decision!