JasonQ

Oh no... I never meant for my last reply to be charged... I understood what he is saying... That comment was more coming from myself... because it sounds weird to me saying that its at walmart... its more me being an idiot... or looking for some sort of way out perhaps.... I dont know.. No, I never meant for it be taken like he was slamming. I was just trying to find some sort of justification for myself or something... Its me thinking out loud or something. You get what I am saying.... Anyways.. you see I could surely ask about a product, but getting further than that would be the issue... because I really dont know how to transistion from the legit question to small talk. That is where I freeze up and get the instant butterflies... I mean, how do you go from: [question about product] to "so would you like to see a movie this fri/sat?" or "do you have an email address" or whatever. And lets say some miracle happens and I talk her into a date (then i go buy a lotto ticket) and she agrees. I surely cannot go eat... because I will get sick. I could probably barely make it thru the movie without getting sick.. I dont know why. Could it be possible to overcome the initial shyness by overcoming the sickness (or as I like to call them the cripping butterflies)

Yeah, at Wal-Mart. I know it probably sounds low-class to some people for some reason. We should all know by now that Wal-Mart is a necessary evil. The problem is I just dont know how to make it sound like I am not a creep. I would know that I am not talking to her for help... as that is the cover... I really need help because I want to talk to her and have no other reason. Its weird... I know I am overthinking this...

I am for the most part outgoing and do not have a problem talking to people. I really dont. I can go on and hold a conversation with someone and not think twice. When it comes to girls, different story. IF I have never met the girl and this is the first time seeing/talking to her, then I will be mostly fine. If I see a girl I like, or find attractive, it is a no go. I will go introvert and clam up. Just cant talk to her or even find the most simplest thing to say. I have become to the point that I get very sick when I think about even trying to make the slightest move. Im not even sure why... I have been on ONE (semi) date, and I ended up throwing up.. You can only imagine how I felt. Only after taking two weeks to get the courage to get her to go with me... It was horrible. I dont dare going out to eat... I cant do it.. even if I have an attractive waitress, and my friends (who are always trying to hook me up) are there... I get sick. I dont know how to overcome the crippling butterflies. They make me sick and get the best of me. Now... Heres the deal. There is this girl at the local Wal-Mart (I know it sounds... odd -- but I have my own thoughts on that) that works there and I find her somewhat attractive and I would love to even somehow chat her up. It wouldnt even have to end up in a date or anything... Heck just for practice. But in the long run, it would be cool to get hooked up with her. Anytime I have such an issue, I can normally end up finding what I could have said... you know 20/20 hindsight? Right now I cant even think of a way to start a conversation with her. ANY WAY AT ALL!? What can I do to get rid of the crippling butterflies and how can I talk to this girl at wal-mart.

Ok, this is a long one, but please try to hang in while I describe the whole situation. I will start with my shyness, which will explain why I have a problem talking to people. Last year, I met this girl that I thought was pretty cool. I didnt really know her, and just kinda tried to hang around her and eventually SHE was the one who started talkin to me. Albeit she wanted something (the only reason people talk to me) we started talking. Out of the deal I got her phone number. It was more luck/by nature that I got her number, as opposed the conventional way of asking for it... Thru the course of a couple of months, she called me and I called her. One night we even talked about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (nothing) for a while. I was the idiot who made the mistake of ending the call. But by that time there was nothing more to talk about, and there was the akward silence. This was HUGE for me that I was even able to talk to her on the phone. I am extremely shy. And for someone I like, it is very hard. If it is a stranger... well its game on, no fear. Time went on, and I ended up asking her on a "date" -- I wouldnt call it a date, but for the purpose of discussion, we will call it a date. She was reluctant at first, but I wasnt about to let her say no. She drove for at least 45 minutes from her house to meet me, and we went from there. At the first part of the date, I kept my cool and held it together. About halfway thru, I could barely stand up, was very nauseous, and ended up... actually getting sick. Yes.... Sick. I tried to hide it, by walking away when I did... But she knew what was going on, and yet, she still continued to hang with me and we went and saw a movie. That went as good as to be expected by now. Needless to say, I never saw her again, which is understandable, but I salute her. Thats the problem. I cannot even talk to people I even remotely like, because I get sick. I cannot eat for days. My stomach churns, and I get so anxious, that I even lose weight. HOW do I overcome that? Now on to now... About 2 months ago, I was at the bank getting my check cashed in the drivethru. My car is a nice car and to be honest, I think this plays a role in my story. The teller, at the time was workin the window and it seemed as if she was doing all she could to keep me there talking. Trying to get me to do more business with the bank. And to me it felt like she was just trying to hold a conversation with me, all the while admiring my car. I know this sounds materialistic, but lets look past that for a minute. I declined the offers, because well, they werent that great. But this doesnt really matter. About 2 weeks later, I walk into the bank, ask to get some money out, and I get the teller that was trying (appearantly) chat me up -- business of course. So yeah, ask for the money, and I told her I didnt have a bank slip or anything, but I could provide ID. She said she wouldnt need it. She remembers me because of my car. Thats cool... So she remembers my first and last name, of which the only time I told her was the first time we ever talked. My point here, is that it seems like she remembered me (or my car) over the many other customers she sees. AND she remembered my name. the only problem is I dont know hers... OOPS I know I am probably reading in to this too much, but to me... it just seems like I could have a better chance in asking her. Fast forward to just a couple of days ago. I go in to cash a check, and shes there, but doesnt get to help me. But yet she still makes an effort to smile at me. NOW... We already know that I dont know her name, because Im clueless. But the question is, how do I strike up any non business related conversation with her. A bank is a very uptight place, all business, no play. Granted this isnt like a TV bank, its a smaller bank, and you really can get to know the people that work there, but how exactly do you ask your bank teller out. And then, what do you do? A movie? Remember from earlier, I get very sick, and dont dare doing something involving food... Nerves get the best of me. Sorry for such a long post, and thank you for reading it. Please help me out. And please dont give me the line of "just do it, you will regret it more not doing it and not knowing, than doing it and knowing." I can give that advice too, I just cant follow my own advice.

Very interesting jurupa. I actually thought about the name thing, you know, just to be 'stupid' but then I thought it would have been really.... stupid, although its worth a shot, what do I have to lose right. As we all know, hindsight is 20/20, and with that being said, I could have had the perfect way to start a conversation, but I didnt. She was doing a crazy little dance on the loading deck, and I could have commented on it. Stupid me, just kept staring. *sigh* -- I guess there is one other thing I could talk about with her, if I can, and that is her hair. She has it done the most interesting way. I love the way its done, and its just cool. Jurupa, Being that you work at an amusement park, let me ask you this. How do the females you work with feel about guests "hitting" on them? Do they feel uncomfortable, or whatever else, or would they just be interested to see? Sometimes it seems that at my amusement park, although friendly (because they are required to be) I get the vibe that these people dont really want anything to do with you... Although this girl, was talkative to us while we were on the ride and stuff. I even smiled at her and she smiled back. But i take that with a grain of salt.

welp... went there again today. she wasnt there. Sucks in one way, but in the other way it gives me more time to think about it... but the more i think about it... the more i get frustrated... I just want to talk to her...

Hi. There is this girl at an amusement park I go to and for some reason I cant keep my eyes off of her. I dont know how to start a conversation with her or anything. I cant really ask her name, being that she has a nametag. I just dont know what to say? I think she is quite cute. There are a couple of things about this situation however. She is in a very public place, where she literally sees thousands of people. How can I make myself stand out to her, should I end up being able to talk to her. And the fact that she is working, makes it hard for me to find a right time to talk to her. If I were to wait until she goes on break, or leaves, then, that would be rather stalker-ish if you ask me. What do you think?

I think I know what you are after here. I have the same "problem" as you. I can remember the SMALLEST little thing that a girl would mention to me, and then I can bring it up WAY on down the road. When you do that, you wonder what the girl is thinking when you remember tiny details from way far back. Is she thinking Obsessed? Stalker? I dont know, but I always kinda regret bringing stuff back up, because it is akward. Lets put it this way, I have never had a girl like me more or be flattered over me remembering something...

Ok, so heres my problem now. I need a way or an excuse to go back to the restuarant, the reason for this is because i dont really like this restuarant, i went there the first time just to go and spend the gift card i got. It still has some money left on it so i guess thats my way in. Problem is, everyone knows i dont like going there.... you will read why i am concerned about an excuse to going there with friends -- the people who know i dont like it. now for my next issue, is that, i think i have a better chance of talking to this girl and getting a convo going, if i am with my friends, because i am more open and social. If i go by myself, im all business, get the food, eat, get out... you know what i mean.... The sub problem is now the fact that, i dont think i could ever get any contact info exchanged with this girl, in front of my friends. I just dont want them making fun or whatever. So now the question is: - How do i get there? How do I go? Friends or By myself (pick up maybe)? - What do i do when i get there? If she is not waiting on me, do i make an effort to say hi or anything. I think that if i could somehow get her to call me, i would be the most at ease... But thats me. HELP! WHAT DO I DO!?

Gee santa, thanks for the ego boost. Why do you say that? I think that if i were able to give her my number, i would be able to talk to her one on one, a) without my friends knowing, and while i can be alone etc. Also, that way she could call me if she felt comfortable enough, and if not, then no worries? to me it would be win win??? I just didnt know if it was "the thing" to do by giving her my number. to those above, who said i should try it... Would a business card (maybe with a note to her on the back or something) be good enough? I carry 2 sets of business cards, ones for work, and ones for my side-job which has my cell phone/toll-free number on it. My only problem would be, is that i would have to "time it right" going back to the restaurant at a time when maybe i could see her again. I could go back on the same day near the same time, hoping to find her couldnt i, maybe in a week or so? And then i would have to try and talk her up again and see if i get the same vibe as before, and then maybe leave my card. I think that would be my only option, cause even sitting here thinking about asking her on the spot -- i get sick to my stomach, and i know i wouldnt be able to do it. I know that i am better off right now, by trying with girls i dont know, and dont over analyze. If i get too far into it, it becomes 100x harder to do anything. Its gotta be all or nothing quick. Help me out guys! I cant wait to hear what you have to say.

So i was out at a restaurant last night and the waitress was attractive, flirty, and seemed interested. I was interested, TRIED to flirt with her, but had friends there that would prohibit, and you know, whatever else. I dont know, I think i could have had a chance, but im so shy its not funny. anyways say i go in again, and get lucky enough to see her how would i go about getting in future contact? I wanted to her MY number last night... Is that bad? the guy leaving the girl his number??? I would at least just like to get to talk to her... see what it all about.

Do i stare at only the ones i have crushes on? ---- Not necessarily one i would have a crush on... just one i find attractive. And NO, i dont stare at the breasts or anything like that, I like looking them in/at the face... What do i think? ----I think, gee, i wonder if she is single, i wonder if i could talk to her... i wonder what she does, with free time... and just about her beauty. Stare a long time = Hot/Attractive? ---- Im not staring for my health.... more than likely thats why i am staring.... my friends say i have a bad staring problem

Well, like i say, i have never talked to her, as in have a conversation with her, as if i was trying to just be friends or get to know her or anything. And this isnt something where we would golf, we would be watching celebs golf, which could be cool cause even i DONT like golf. So im just not real sure. And the only thing i am concerned about, is it is rumoured that she has a boyfriend. If that is the case, and i ask, what could happen? What should i do? I dont know... I dont know... as for a glow in the dark putt-putt course, man that sounds pretty cool, i have never seen one of those. Any more help is greatly appreciated

So there is this celebrity golf match coming up soon. And there is this girl i like, but cant talk to (of course). She looks like a golfer, though i am more than likely wrong, she just looks like the stereotypical golfer chick. Anyways, i have talked to her, maybe a couple times, but nothing of any significance whatsoever so you know where i stand on that. SO could there be anyway that i could possibly play this in my favor, and ask her out... any recommendations...? Thanks...

Gig, Your advice is amazing. Of all advice i have read, yours always seems to make sense to me. It really makes me WANT to try your advice, but in the end, i am still a chicken. Not trying to hijack this thread, but maybe sometime i could catch you on IM or something. I think my problem is that i over-analyze everything. Like i was saying in the other thread (about asking a girl where she got her shoes) I just think too hard about what the girl would think. I think about how cheezy stuff seems to me, and think it would apply to them. I have no confidence whatsoever, but really want to talk to girls. They dont need to be girlfriends (yet ) just someone i can get to know, so later i can try to make a relationship. I have no problems talking to girls i dont "LIKE" but those that i find remotely attractive and i like, then i cant talk to them, even if my life would depend on it....

well, see thats my problem though... i have had those opportunites.. and still fail to take them, because i have a hard time even talking to her.. .im not sure i could hold a full conversation with her, cause im a loser... hah

so then..... how might i go about striking up a conversation with her?

I know this has probably been addressed many times before... How exactly do you "Ask someone out" For example, where i eat lunch sometimes, there is a mighty fine girl that i would LOVE to "ask out" problem is, as with most, i cant even talk to this girl, and i dont have much conversation, and i know nothing about her. Do i just go up to her and "ask her out" by saying hey would you like to hang out sometime? I mean, i may as well be a total stranger!!! I have opportunities come to me every once in a while to see a girl i like, but i think my problem is, that i analyze everything way too much, and end up kicking myself. What to do?

To the person who was talking about complimenting shoes and asking where the girl got them and whatnot. I was going to try that last weekend when i seen an attractive girl, who has some pretty cool shoes really.... and i was going to say something to the extent of "hey those are cool shoes, where did you get those" but the problem i have... is what SHE Would think when i ask that. Im thinking she would be thinking, WHY would he want to know where I got my shoes... Because they are girl shoes. Would a dude (like myself) wear girl shoes. no. I realize its a compliment and ice breaker... but i just think to logically.. and thats what i think my problem is when talking to girls...

OK... here goes... A while back I met this girl, and she was, well, hard to talk to at first, but then I started talking to her, and we made a lot of jokes against each other and stuff like that. Never really thought anything of it. Later on, I asked her to a concert. She went, but it really wasnt a date, just friends going to a concert. That was fine by me. Well guess what, now I like her. She has a great personality, and I really admire her in several ways, her personality, and her trueness. It seems when she is around the wrong people however, she is just like them, which is really kinda unfortunate. I see stuff in her that really makes me like her. Anyways, we talk a lot, and all of that, and I feel like she is dropping hints in the fact that she looking for something to do. I want to take them as hints, and act upon them, but I dont really want to risk the friendship, even though its an early one. You know what I mean? Is there a way to tell her? That I like her? When I feel she is dropping a hint, should I try? Ask her to dinner? See a movie? Or what. Problem is... She is looking for a relationship, and it doesnt seem that she would want one from me. Eventually, I think that she is going to find one, and I am going to be SOL, because after that happens, whos to say that this 'friendship' we have now, will disintegrate? thereforeeee making me want to take the risk... I dont know, what should I do?

I posted this at another place to, I just want to get as many opinions as possible. I am desparate for advice. So here it goes. Not long ago, I seen this girl, and I found her attractive. For the past couple of weeks, I have been trying to build my courage, to simply TALK to her. But I seem to get no where. I have only actually talked TO HER, one time. I have had many many chances to talk to her, but I cant do it. Then when I miss one of those chances, I just get way down on my self and I am in a bad mood for a long time. So we get the point that I cant talk to her. Now it is becoming the time, when it is my last chance to talk to her, or I will never have the chance again. This last chance must now involve at least getting a number or even an email. You know what I mean. Recently I have found that she drinks. and parties. I certainly do not. This is a problem. Now that I know she drinks, I feel that, even though I havent talked to her and cant for some reason, why should I try any longer. Personally I dont approve of people who drink and party, because I dont. I am not saying that "Because I dont, You shouldnt" Its just that I dont accept that. Is there any reason for me to continue trying? If I were to somehow talk to her, and get a date, would she respect the fact that I dont drink or party. Ladies? What would you say? I mean, I would consider a date, something where Her and I would go out for dinner and a movie. And that would be cool. But what happens when she goes to a party, and I dont want to go. Or if I were to go, and didnt drink, would that be a problem. I feel that I am in an akward position, because I am very shy, and cant talk to her.. But I want to, but then I find something else to look at and say, I cant handle one who parties... And thats honest.. I dont want to have to deal with someone who drinks.. but I really would like to go on a date with her (well, as soon as I can talk to her). Which brings me to a separate point.... Should I try and talk to her some before I ask for a date, or just simply go up to her and ask her if she would like to go see a movie or something. And then at that time, how would I go about getting a number. The problem with this is, I think it would be a weird feeling for both of us if I were to ask... because of the numerous chances I have had to talk to her, and havent. Because those chances have came when I was standing almost next to her, TRYING to talk her her, but then I cant, so I talk to someone else -- even though i think she has a clue that I am standing there trying to talk to her... What do you people think... Can you help me get to the bottom of this? Please

Recently i met this girl, that i really like. At the time, I couldnt even talk to her. I finally talked to her, twice actually (heh). Anyways, I talked to her, I seen her at walmart, and we stopped and talked for a few minutes, then we had to move on. Then the next day, I talked to her a little before the game. What I did notice however, was that she noticed me, (she said hi to me first) and we went from there. I dont know if that means anything, or am I just hoping. Anyways, I basically have one chance to get anything done coming up this saturday. There is a game. I will talk to her hopefully. A buddy of mine tells, me to be confident in myself, and basically go up to her and talk to her, and talk enough to ask her out. What are some suggestions to asking her out. Is his advice good advice? Do I just like, flat out ask her if she wanna go eat, or see a movie or something? And what if she says NO, how would she say no. And how should I react to it. any hints?