Jhawk22

Hero_99, you are right on the money. Girls that have or have had attraction for you at one time or another have the higher potential to have respect for you. Thus, history with a girl can AlWAYS repeat itself. It is like one girl said to me, we like what is familiar to us. A friend of mine has always treated a couple of girls like dirt, but they both run back to him on a whim. Based on the circumstances surrounding everything, he can always have those two. And that goes for a lot of guys. The attraction thing is the difference in how an old flame always has that look in her eye, and the secret smile vs a girl who is your friend's who you never shared anything more than a couple of behind the back trash talking words of him! Girls say they won't do that. There is no chance, right. Well, humans aren't infallable. Guys can be indecisive, but girls usually upstage in that department. Actions always speak louder than words. Another thing, if girls actually had the untainted ability to respect, they wouldn't be so inclined to get into the game playing. And make guys have to follow The RULES in order to keep them interested. If you like a person, attracted to a person, care about a person, why should it matter if they were too easy to chase down or excitably fast in pursuit. Ultimately, that seems to be the factor in whether it is a fling or a long relatoinship. P.S: I'm sorry if any ladies are offended by this post, but I was the sweet, sensitive, everything you say you want bf. Now, I'm alone. If I'd have been everything you say you don't want, I think I would still have the girl. And she wouldn' think it is okay to call me as a safety option whenever she is feeling lonely and there is no one else there for her. Rational thought is based on point of view. This should seem like clockwork to guys who read this. I'm sure any girl who reads this will be stewing over it, and laughing at how unbelievably vane and stupid I am. I once heard a girl say that she knows how moody, emotional, irrational girls can be. That is why she hardly befriends any. And by the way ladies, those guy friends you have, they are just guys who haven't gotten up to bat YET. Give them a chance and they will. That is why your boyfriend hates them.

I know it is really frustrating to go so long without every feeling intimate with a woman. But, it still sounds like you aren't being rational about it. You should never have sex just for the sake of having sex. To lose the "virgin" tag is the lowest motivation. By your tone, an intimate relationship seems like something you wouldn't want if it hit you in the head. I walked the same line as you, but I did find someone who I came to love. Two weeks from my 22 birthday, I finally had sex. But it wasn't just that. I really had feelings for that girl. Don't look for a casual fling to do in the lable. In the end, you'll feel even more empty. Just relax. I'm not sure you are yet mature enough to engage in such an act by the way you speak of looking for a casual date. Sex is meant to be the highest of intimate gestures to show your appreciation and caring for someone. Even if it isn't always that way.

All woman say they want this whole package which I have found to consist of such charismatic charms of caring, intelligence, outgoing, willingness to try new things, take them out on dates from time to time. And at the same time looks. And beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. I'm a 22 yr male attending college. Believe me when I say that men are more picky than the women. Men want a beauty queen. Thus many men don't have a girlfriend. As far as women looking for all these traits in man, I really don't think that it is too much to ask. But both sexes tend to agree that when you look that good, you don't have to be nice. I have found many beautiful women drawn to guys lesser in appearance than them. And I just wonder how the hell did that happen.

You need to relax. I am a 22 yr male attending college. Women can chew you up and spit you out just for fun when they are older if you do the shy routine. But so will high school girls. Some are more experienced than others. You were right on the money when you said that it was a bad move by telling her how pretty she is. Believe me, she already knows. But lucky you, she didn't turn and immediately walk away. It seems to me that she has at least moderate interest in you. You should just relax when talking to her, and see if there is more. Instead of vaguely asking to do something sometime, set a specific time to do a specific activity. You can still ask her to do something later even though you didn't get her number. I'm sure she will give you a second chance to ask her to a SPECIFIC place. If she is interested, she'll give you her number. But the movies are a bad idea for a first date. It isn't a good way to get to talk to her. And when you do talk, don't dwell on physical appearances. I don't know if you drink, but don't get drunker than her. You want her to get a good first impression of the true you on a date, not some beligerent idiot spouting cheesy lines of destiny. But back to way I was saying, just be yourself and don't try so hard to impress. If you just act normal, I'm sure she'll be more impressed. Good Luck

This is coming from a male perspective. Us guys can't help but do stupid things that women end up grounding us for. I don't know exactly what the scenario is that brought you apart from your man, but I know that I am very sorry for the things I have done in my relationship. Just as you choose to ramble on, I have my own sobb story story that I have easily written 20 pages about. Now a days, I barely have contact with my girlfriend. When I do, she is always so submissive. She lets her friend influence her thoughts about me. I know that things are good between us, but with my baby now living with her friend contact between us is limited. It is so frustrating because after a long summer apart, we were back together when I got back into town. We had so much fun. She was playful with me, and she showed real compassion for me. She talked about going out on the town together, she talked about how she would help me with Chemisty when I didn't even ask for her help. I took her out to eat, and we came back and watched a movie together. By the end of the night, she was stretched out accross my lap letting me run my hand up and down her body. Eventually, she even moved over on the couch so I could lay down beside her. She let me hold her for a good while. As you can see, I am generally frustrated right now. Especially when the very the next night her friend is back, and she barely notices me. Yet she consistently comes over to my friends apartment to parties where she knows I'll be. She comes over with her overbearing friend, and just sits there. She has been doing this every weekend. When I try to talk to her, her friend butts in. I think that if my girl really didn't want to be with me, she wouldn't have been calling me three times in one week before I was back in town looking to be with me. She wouldn't have me coming over to her new place, and letting me hold her. Last night, I was over at my friends again where we were having a little get together. I was so depressed because all my friends were hooking up with girls. And yet mine was no where to be found. Watching my friend hold this girl and kiss her absolute tore me apart. I have to leave for a while and go for a walk. Because I was thinking about how that is what I should be doing with my girl. Instead, she is fronting big time. She is out on the town, with her friend. As of last Tuesday, she was all sparkly eyed and playing with me like she was a little kid and I was her girlhood sweetie. I could tell things were still great between us. I could that this isn't a girl that is running anywhere from me. She let down her guard, and she showed me that she still had feelings for me. Her friend is completely jealous of me. She doesn't want her girl to have anyone that drives a wedge between their friendship. So my baby does everything she can to please her friend. I understand the concept of girls night out, but I don't understand why she is fronting so much now. When my friends were all hooking up last night, I gave in and picked up the phone. I know that the motto is girls don't like desparation, but this really is different. I didn't ring her up to talk to her, I only rung her up once to let her know that I still think about her. So she could see on her caller id that I am looking for her. After that, I went to the bar with my friends. I know you have fun with your friends without a guy, and I know I can have fun with my friends without a girl. I did. I went and yes I did talk to other girls, but still I have no intention of picking up on any of them. Right now, she is the only one I care about. I did my thing. When I came back around 2am, guess who was sitting on my friends' balcony just chillin. My baby and her overbearing friend. She was out on the town having fun with her friend, but she had noticed that I called. She had hopped in her car and made the trip over there thinking that's where I'd be. I can see that plain as day. As always, I try to talk to her and her friend gets between us. That frustrates the hell out of my. Seriously, if she didn't want to see me, then why the hell did she come over where I'd be. A large group of us even went out swimming at the lake, but I could never get close to her. I blew my best opportunity, me and her made the half a mile walk to her car to get more beer for the group. But this damn kid who means nothing to the situation decided to tag along because he wanted his beer. Finally, I was going to get her to myself away from her friend and he had to tag along. She even looked in his direction and told him that he didn't have to come because she could get it. If that isn't a girl reaching out to me, I don't know what is. I guess I should have encouraged him to back off a little. I can only imagine how I could have gotten in closer to my fronting girl and held her like she deserves to be held. I think it would have turned into a really good moment. But I squandered the opportunity, and she was back with her friend. I know that there will be other times. I know this because I know her. We used to talk on the phone for five hours a night. She told me everything about herself. I know her, and she knows me. I know how she feels about me. That girl trusts me, and she cares about me. She holds me in very high regard to other men who have been in her life. I have said mean things to her over the summer that I am really regretful for, and she still calls me back looking to spend some time together. She could have a good reason for hating me for things that I said, but she still calls on me like nothing happened. Girls, if things really are good between you and your guy, please don't front. Don't let your friends drag you off to the dance floor trying to divert you attention. It may be fun, but that guy is still thinking about you and you're tearing him up. I know it is all one big stupid game, but your only delaying time that you could be with him. Don't lie. When you go out with your friends, and you pretend like you don't see him, you are lying to yourself and him. Do you know the words to "I will survive". You probably will, but wouldn't it be better if he was with you. If he confronts you about why you have so much fun and ignore him, he still likes you even if he did say he doesn't. He is lying too. When I get these opportunities to be alone with my girl, I always seem to blow them. And it is really becoming a huge cloud of regret. I am doing a her a huge disservice by not telling her how much she means to me. It is all a big game. Everyone wants to see who will cave first because that is supposed to mean they they are weak minded. That isn't true though. You have spent a lot of time talking with and being with your boyfriends, so you should have a good understanding for eachother. I was raised solo by a single mom, so I do understand women. And I understand my women. YES I DO. So it hurts when she tries to say otherwise. I just want to say, "Girl, you know that you like being with me. You like talking to me. You always have. We had a lot of fun together without hanging all over eachother. You know that we really do have a lot in common, and we do click. So don't sit back and pretend otherwise." Don't let your friends try to convince you otherwise. As much as they say to you, you'll still be picking up the phone to call him back. Or you'll try to put yourself in situations where you'll run into him. When you do, don't act so sly like he is just some person you just met. I see her coming around, and when I'm there. She can pretend all she wants that she doesn't see me, but I know she does. I ignore her too, but I still see her. I wonder what giving her a surprise kiss under the moonlight would do to get her attention. Your guy wouldn't get so upset about you having fun without him if he didn't still have feelings for you. It kills me knowing that she comes over to our parties, and sits there talking to no one other than her friend. And she acts like she doesn't notice me having fun without her. It really does go both ways.

I have a lot to say on this topic, to much to put on one little post. But I'll try not to. Back in March, I met this really great girl. We started going out, but summer was fast approaching. And since it is a college town, everyone goes their separate ways for the summer. thereforeeeee, I knew that we wouldn't have a lot of time together. For the first month, all we did was talk an hang out, but in May it started to turn really physical. I'm talking about everything. At the same time, I knew that I really liked her. When it first started to heat up, I told her I wasn't interested in just playing around. I told her I cared about her, and she said she did too. I could tell there was definite chemistry between us. We used to talk for at least five hours a day. Even after we went our separate ways for the summer, we talked non-stop all night. But then she started taking summer classes, and contact died down. Then I started to get pushy, because I took it all for granted that she didn't have to call me at all. She was trying to keep contact when her schedule completely caved in on her. At some point, she got sick of me badgering her and contact completely stopped. So then I overstepped by making a two hour trip just to see her. We really did have a lot of fun that night just hanging out, but then two days later she said that maybe we shouldn't do this. But then, she called me the night before the 4th of July wanting me to be with her because she didn't want to be alone. I felt insulted because her birthday was the next night, and she didn't want me to be there for that. So I did the wrong thing again and showed up on her Birthday. She ignored me completely, I made a scene, and I left mean messages on her voice mail. She followed up with one of her own that very nicely said that we shouldn't talk or see eachother again. But then three weeks after that, she called three times in one week. She was wanting to get together with me. I finally got back into town, and I went and stayed the night with her. We didn't do anything physical. I took her out to eat, we drank, and we watched a movie. The entire night, she was very flirty and playful with me. She told me how she wanted me to go out to the bars with her, she said she wanted to help me with some of my classes. She was very sweet and caring. The entire night she was never more than a couple of inches away from me. At one point, I went silent for a while. She kept asking me what's wrong. I told her nothing was. She was very thoughtful. By the end of the night, she was laid out accross her couch with her legs accross my lap. She let me rub her, and eventually she scooted over on her side and let me lay next to her. She let me hold her for a while before eventually getting up. The next morning, I kind of tested her. I left without saying anything. I wanted to know if she really cared if I did that. I was pleasantly surprised when she later asked me why I didn't say anything. I haven't had as much fun with her as I did that night even without getting physical. I think we really clicked. I felt like we were definitely still together. If you're still reading this, it gets really complicated. Now, her friend is back in town. They used to do everything together until I came into the scene. I have really tried to be nice to this girl, but she hates me. She thinks I'm trying to steal her friend. After that great night back in town, my girl won't have a thing to do with me now that her friend is back. When I showed up the other night, her friend looked really shocked. She thought she had ran me off for good by the lies she told about me on this girl's birthday. I dont' think that my girl told her that she was still in contact with me. I can handle that, but it really insults me when the two girls show up to an apartment that is just three balconies away from where my friends live. They sit up on that balcony and my baby doesn't say a word to me. I call her phone, she lets other people answer it . I felt another rage coming on just like on her birthday. Then, me and my friends fill up some kegs and have a party. I wanted to meet the guys whose apartment my girl and her friend were frequenting. It turns out they are really great guys, and we have a lot in common. They know my situation and they are very sympathetic. So I invited them over to have a good time. Basically, my girlfriends over bearing, manipulating friend is taunting me by showing up with her when she knows I'm going to be there. My girl can't tell her to butt out of our relationship. She goes along with everything that her friend wants to do. They even came over to our party. They are both isolates. They don't fit in, and they don't know anybody. If my girl was going to ignore me, I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of pining over her all night. I played drinking games with my friends and had a blast. Meanwhile, she was never more than a couple feet behind me the entire night. She was always looking in my direction, and from time to time I would catch her looking at me. Finally, I think that they had seen enough so they left. I raced to front her at the door, her friend was telling me to leave her the **** alone. Just by how much fun we had Tuesday, I know there is more to us than that. Why is she getting all dressed up to come to a party that she knows I'll be at. Then she sits there and watches me all night. I know how she really feels about me, and she is fronting just for her friends sake. It just sends me into a rage, and all I think about is this scenario. Meanwhile, my girl punishes me because her friend doesn't like knowing that she still talks to me. I'm just so fed up with it all. I haven't done anything really bad to deserve this. I got a little pushy earlier this summer, but I have backed off big time. And she always calls me back when her friend isn't around. When is she going to open her eyes, and see what she does to me. When is she going to stop letting her friend dictate her actions. I think the game is being played between me and her friend. But I really do think I have already won just based on the time we spent together last week. There is nothing that this friend can say or do, because my girl always ends up getting a hold of me. And now they are partying right down the street from me with guys that are on my side. I think if I play my cards right, her friend is going to run her right into my arms. But I can barely get a chance to speak with her because her friend is always right there. Her friend was okay when I was just dancing with her on a table for one night. But when we started to get serious I think it made her realize that her girltime was in jeopardy. That is when I noticed a change in her attitude towards me, and my girl goes from hot to cold with me on a drop of a dime just by her friend being there.