ZeldaPrinces

riverHop, I know, it surprises me too, that 1 year ago I totally freaked out just at the mention of erections. I think its because I had been hurt to badly by my first love. You know how much your first love means to you. He kind of damaged how I felt about sex and sexual intimacy. And I disliked that erections could mean a power over a women. They could also mean that they are more into the feelings she gives him rather than her as a person. I started dating another guy whos been my friend for years. I knew how much he cared about me as a person, but he was ALSO attracted to me, and i could trust this. I found myself SO attracted to him, physically and emotionally, and i realised that it is a part of life. And I shouldn't spend my life being so serious. I love the feeling being intimate gives. Seeing him so attracted to me, just being around me, and no other woman, feels amazing. I'm really glad I grew out of it.

I grew up...I like them now flattering that i'm attractive.

This post from KM: "Here's my opinion on this... Just think about it. Whether you're male or female, think of your mate watching porn. Doesn't feel too good does it? That is why we don't have this big "who cares" thing. When you're with someone, especially married, you're supposed to be "with them." Now, I admit, for the most part we men are pigs and we'll stare at a hot chick walkin by whether we have a sex partner right now or not. But, looking at a passer byer versus going to porn sites, that's just wrong. I mean, why should a man feel the need to go look at other people naked? I know this is all very sensitive, but I would confront them. If confronted and they think there's "nothing wrong" with what they've been doing, then there IS something wrong. I think that for the most part, you give up your porn watchin rights once you are with someone seriously, unless they are in on it..." Is Fantastic. Its so so true. And "Marie123" that must be breaking your heart. Can people on these forums not see that looking at porn is being unfaithful to your partner? You are looking at other people. Its like your wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend is not good enough. It is unbelievable that men could complain about the sex life not being good enough and then turn to porn. DO YOU REALLY NEED ULTIMATELY AMAZING SEX!? If you loved her you wouldn't want to hurt her. Marie123, if you have asked your husband 3 times and he still hasn't listened perhaps its best to leave him. He's being unfaithful to you by looking at other women.

That's so awful. Personally, I find it disgusting that a man or women could masturbate or look at porn in a relationship. Its like the partner isn't enough for their wishes. I reckon looking at porn is mentally cheating on your wife. You are looking at other women naked. I'm sure you wouldn't allow it if it was a women in reality standing naked in front of him and him masturbating over it. And why would he masturbate? Why aren't you good enough for him? Break up with him. He's an ass.

"Non virgins can be very mean sometimes." I agree. But there are virgin girls out there, who appreciate the thought of a sexless relationship/marriage.

Well I don't expect it from my Man because he likes the kiss but dosen't become turned on by it. We more enjoy the fact that its relaxed. He dosen't get an erection because he's not turned on by me.

Sure the human race is designed that way but not everyone reproduces and the human race is designed to work that way. You can love a person in a romantic way without having sex with her - they are not interconnected, people make them be. I don't see how a relationship without sex, if both people consent, could possibly be worse than one with. Your right though, its rare to find that, but when you do its really nice. Your right though when you say this: "I want to be with a woman not because I want to have sex with them but I would like to feel how it is to love another person and have that person love you back more than just family or friends you know just something thats special between me and her. if I can have sexless relationship I think I would be OK and not have any worrys. But again she will think iam weird." Because it is completely okay to have a sexless relationship, it is so much more sincere and deep and the emotional connection is so much more vivid. So you would be fine being a virgin for life?

How about not worrying about ever having sex? Do you really need it? There aren't many girls who are virgins. I am and will be for life, and its sad that girls have it so easily. But it is mainly because guys ask. And you are here, stating that you want a virgin because you want to lose your virginity to a virgin. Why do you need to lose your virginity? Why have sex with women? Men like you are rare and precious. Keep your virginity, you do not need to have sex.

Guys don't get them from kissing guys (if they are hetrosexual.) But they get them from kissing girls. Which shows us that it clearly is a turn on. And for me that is not okay. Its okay for some people and thats fine, but I stand by my belief that I believe love is love and sex is not love and a turn on is a sexual response.

Bryan, I don't assume he's making a sexual advance or disrespecting me. And I understand that guys can get them for random reasons! Heck, they get them by doing a maths exam. They get 5 in the sleep during the REM stages, just because the body does a check to see if it still works. But the ones that occur from females are due to a turn on, and I do not believe that a kiss should be a turn on.

But you see, both of you, I get that. But you both mention its about 'self control.' It can be controlled. If men were willing and had the determination that some do, then its possible not to get them. Also erections are caused from a turn on. A physical response to the situation. And I don't find that appropriate, I don't find it right to be turned on from a kiss, an expression of love. Kissing, I find is not something that is supposed to be a turn on. It is meant to be a mutual feeling of love. Many people kiss as a lead on to something else. And I do not see that its okay to be turned on from a kiss. And thats my own belief.

See Bryan, that's all I was trying to say. That a lot of it is self control. And he is controlled. And he dosen't need it/want it. And I love that and love him.

Also Bryan, reading through all of these posts and erection books, they occur as a physical result to what could eventually happen. Which is insulting. "Yes, it's definitely a good thing. Just be polite with it and don't start with the dry humping - the anticipation of what's to come is much more of a turn-on" And this is true, men start to get excited, whilst not even thinking about it. I think that if you girlfriend/wife likes it, then good for you. But I really think that people need to stop saying things like= "Trust me, most healthy boys do...."-WBMcA63 "Anyway, the only guy who didnt get a boner kissing me made me think he was GAY. This was a guy I dirty danced in front of all night and who had tol dme how sultry and hot I am. "Turns out he was a whiskey d1ck." -selkie "I think I can safely speak for 99.999% of men when I say its VERY good and probably a huge turn on."-matts0344 "Not to mention, that any girl that kisses a guy, should be expecting the 'gross boner' if not someones not doing something right."-Rabican They are not hot for every girl and not every guy is into sex. Not everyone wants that. So I thought people could not name names if someone is not into physical encounters which do not measure up to mental encounters. Some couples (such as ours) prefer to not be physical in any way - a small kiss now and then is appreciative. But it dosen't mean we are freaks. We let each know we love each other by being in the presense, by talking, by him not getting an erection from me talking. He respects me and I respect him and its precious. So please, just don't name names people. We aren't anymore freaks than you are, we are just plain normal don't have/need urges.

Bryan. My boyfriend didn't coz I checked, as I 1. He was in his underwear and 2. I touched to see. It can be helped. The thing is, there are lots of guys who don't get them but are in love plentiful. And the thing is erections in response to that situation are a turn on. If someone talks to a girl and gets turned on, its very disrespectful. You make her feel a bit like a piece of meat, like you can't talk to her like normal without getting turned on over her. It hurts, and many men can prevent them, just by believing women A. Don't like them and B. Why be turned on over women talking? Think of how much that might hurt her. Zeldaprinces

I just want to state the fact that people have their own opinion...Personally, I do not find them attractive, as Girl Friend said, I have no intention of sleeping with the guy. He's turned on by me, which is purely physical. I don't see how some people can not love their partners without being turned on by them. I kiss my boyfriend and he never gets an erection, even if its a long period of kissing, he never does and never has. It is not impossible to be not sexually turned on by girlfriend...I am definitely not ugly, but my boyfriend has loved me for 2 years and we have both vowed abstinence. I love him so much and he loves me, and we have never needed to take it further. I personally find erections disrespectful, because it feels as though the guy sees what you are doing as a 'turn on' but not a loving expression through the heart. I find it to be insulting. But that's me, people are different, I don't appreciate people saying however that those who don't like erections are prude/immature/embarrased of their sexual orientation. Because I am none of these, but I find erections unneccesary and an insult at the fact they get them over small things.