simply_lost

Hi, Yesterday, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found out last week that he had been looking for phone sex on one of those phone dating lines. I am heartbroken beyond belief. In addition to my finding out about that, he lied and lied and lied to get himself out of the situation and I learned all about it. I feel so betrayed, so sad, and so angry. I loved him and he said that he loved me, but there is no way that I could ever trust him again. I thought all weekend about whether or not this could be salvagable, and I realized that if I tried to take him back I would always wonder what he is doing, who he's with, whether he's lying to me. I just can't live like that. Some people might wonder why I placed my story in the infidelity category since (as far as I know) he never actually slept with someone else. It's because bringing other people into a relationship like that IS CHEATING. It takes away all trust and builds a wall between the people. I don't even see him the same way anymore. I can't even look at him. He took something that was wonderful and precious and turned it into something ugly and disgusting. The act, the lying about it....everything.....it's completely ruined a relationship that made me so happy. He was happy too...he said that he started doing it again a few weeks ago....and that he doesn't know if he's addicted or what...That's all I needed to hear "ADDICTED" and I ended it right there. Who needs to be in that kind of relationship constantly wondering if it will get worse and escalate into something even more disgusting? Now, I'm sad beyond belief and I wish everything could be the way it was before, but I know that it can't. I just don't know how I will ever truly trust again. I've lost something now and I just don't know how I will ever get that part of myself back. Simply Lost

Hi everyone, This is really difficult for me to post, so please bear with me. I have been with my "boyfriend" (I use quotes here because we have never officially determines WHAT we are to each other...that's one of the problems.) for about 3 1/2 months. We have seen each other exclusively since like the beginning. Two issues have come up in the past month and half or so. One, he had kept an important piece of information from me about an ex-girlfriend. He said he didn't tell me because he was afraid that if I knew about it I wouldn't have gone out with him in the first place. I won't post exactly what it is, but it's nothing terrible or anything...I was just hurt that he had kept it from me and when the subject of his ex came up he had to lie several times to cover up what he didn't tell me. I nearly broke up with him then. Now, something more serious in my mind has happened. A friend was listening to one of those phone dating services and just for fun went into the categories for people looking for phone sex and he was there...profile and all saying people should call him. She called me and told me about it and sure enough it was him. When I confronted him about it he admitted it but he said that it was an old profile from before we were together. The problem is that I don't feel as though I can trust him, and this makes me even more wary about him. It wasn't like he was calling those services that are available nationwide, this was something where local people who could live in the same town for all he knows would be calling him. How do I know it ended there? How do I know that he wasn't doing this the entire time we were together? Or that he didn't meet up with these people? He seems like he might be telling the truth, but I am so thrown by this. I'm hurt, I feel betrayed, I feel lied to, and I feel like trusting him about anything in the future will be very difficult. I don't know how serious this really is or if it is worth throwing everything away. But I do know that I don't see him the same way anymore. I don't feel like he is the person I started to fall in love with. I feel stupid, and blind, and lost. Can anyone relate or help? By the way...we are in our mid twenties...not kids or anything. Lost p.s. Half a word was "beeped" above...don't know why....It was a version of betrayal....??