pedrossi

It's all about how you make them feel... be well groomed, relax and be funny, confident, even a little cocky (but not arrogant). Life is too short to sit around and watch the other guy get your girl... do the math (get a calculator, figure out how many seconds you have left to live, and press the [-] [1] key every second... scary isn't it? Go for it!!

A surprise on the PC doesn't sound too romantic... maybe leave something on her desk at work or something?

Anyone have any thoughts?

He probably wants a future together with you, but you'll never know until you talk to him about it. Speaking as a guy, I know... we are HORRIBLE at interpreting hints from women. If you don't tell me straight out, I probably won't get it! Talk to him!! What's the worst that could happen?

I would advise you to be very careful, as I've seen this happen before. There is no way you can continue being best friends with this girl (or anything further than that) if one of 2 things doesn't happen: 1. She quite the whole drug thing and gets new friends 2. You get involved in drugs and her friends From my experience, #2 is a lot more likely to happen, which is why I caution you. No girl is worth getting yourself mixed up with drugs! You're still 16, and I know how passionate feelings can get at that age, but with time they go away. I'm not saying you should abandon her or anything; as a matter of fact, the noble thing to do here would be try to get her away from drugs (mainly the heavy stuff first), and that's not gonna happen overnight. The reason you feel a lot more comfortable with her online is because you're staring at a screen, and you're not nervous (and neither is she). The screen is a safety barrier; she can't see your feelings, you can't see hers. That gives you that confidence to have a great conversation. You need to take the initiative and try to have those conversations with her in real life (I know, it's not easy...), but at least try. She'll probably act weird, so it might be a good idea to have some topics in mind to talk about beforehand (girls in general love gossip, relationship talk, etc.., [but not all girls are like that]). It's important for you to get closer to her on this personal, 'real-life' level because that will make your whole relationship a lot more 'real'. This will allow her to possibly listen to you more and actually have a serious conversation with you. Slowly, you might be able to get into her head and get her away from this stuff, but it'll take time (don't move too fast, you might scare her off). Remember, if she pressures you (hopefully she won't), don't do anything stupid. I'm not sure what she means by getting yourself "at her level" of drugs. Perhaps she means she wants you to become more knowledgeable? At any rate, it's always worth doing some research (type in 'ecstasy' in link removed if you're feeling lazy) and getting to know what you're up against. Keep us updated, and good luck!

Yeah, her jealous nature would probably bother me quite a bit. I'm definitely not a * * * * or anything, but I do have a lot of 'friends who are girls' that I talk to a lot. It's not even on a flirting level, I can just be friends with a girl without necessarily being attracted to them. I think that might bother her if I were to go to the next level? By the way, she's never gotten to 3rd base either (from what she tells me), but the seafarer myth is an interesting metaphor, lol.

Well I guess it bothers me that she was in love with my best friend and he pretty much brushed her aside; it kinda makes me feel as if I'm the guy that'd dating the 'leftover' (I keep trying to suppress this feeling, but hey, I'm human too). The exact same situation happened to yet another friend of mine about 3 years ago (she liked him, he brushed her off, she got mad). They were both from conservative families who frown upon any dating not geared towards marriage, though, so that may have played a part in it. As for just doing her for the experience (I haven't gotten to 3rd base yet, although I have had the opportunity), she is rather pretty and does have a nice body, but I'm not sure if it would be right (especially with someone as 'loving' as her) to just "dewer and runn". But then again, it's not like I don't want it So I'm at kind of a stalemate until I figure out what the hell I WANT to do, but that's the hard part here I suppose?

That pretty much describes it

I agree with Dako; if she's cool, she'll be cool about it (if she really is long-term material, she should understand when you come to her honestly and tell her something). If not... then do you really want to go all the way with her? I would suggest telling her you're "rather inexperienced", but that would be lying to some extent. So overall, I think you should just be honest with her, but pick the right time/mood to tell her. Best of luck!

Hey everyone, here's the deal: There's this girl that's been in love with my best friend for the past 2 years. He used to have a crush on her, but he's been trying to get her to leave him alone for some time. She talked to him about getting 'serious' but he blew her off, and she got mad at him for 'leading her on'. I recently got placed into the girl's physics II class, and the only available spot was next to her (they're those round group desks). We started talking at school and on IM and eventually we became really good friends (almost overnight). Last week, she told me that her friends think she is over my best friend, and when I asked why, she replied "because they know I like you, and I think you're hot" rather shyly. I ended up telling her she's not that bad herself (she's a pretty girl, and really nice). So almost every day we've been talking online, and the conversations have been getting spicier and spicier (she described some fantasies in quite a bit of detail, talked about having sex with me on a beach, etc). I have to admit that I haven't exactly stopped her from doing that... I actually encouraged it by playing along this whole time. I do kind of like the girl, she's really fun to be with and easy to talk to. However, my problem is that she is rather possessive and jealous, and my friends tell me she's kind of 'crazy' (I've only known her for about 3 weeks). She's already started acting a little jealous when I talk to other girls (not even flirting or anything, just talking) and my best friend highly discourages me from going for it. I haven't had a girlfriend for about 6 months (I don't usually go out with random girls, just the ones I really like), so I'm debating rather this is all worth it. I'm a junior at an engineering school and this is the most crucial year for my GPA, not to mention she lives about 50 minutes away from me. I'm afraid she's going to confront me about "us" sometime soon, and I really have no idea what I should do. I'm really good in physics (99.5 average), so she asked me to stay after school and 'tutor' her some day this week (she also told me she hasn't been able to concentrate too well with me next to her, but she likes it). The conversation got interrupted but I'm sure she'll bring it up again. She also mentioned something about going to the movies this weekend (movies = dark = opportunities to do things with consequences). I'd appreciate some input/different views on the situation, I just think that another person's perspective couldn't hurt in making a decision, right? Thanks for taking the time to help me out!