Softiron

For me, masturbation is usually a physical release, but it's also fun. I masturbate a little less often than before I got into a relationship, but even if I was having sex every day, I'd still probably masturbate on occasion. But let me tell you, there's nothing like an orgasm when I'm with my girl. It's more emotionally intense, often more physically intense, and I also shoot more and farther then when I'm by myself. There's a ton of other signs to look for if a guy isn't interested that are a lot more telling than how often he masturbates.

Hey, guys, thanks for all the responses last night. They did help. But, guess what? We were talking tonight, and turns out she is a sexually active virgin as well. I apparently misinterpreted something she had said earlier, so I assumed differently. All that worrying for nothing! ~Softiron

Well, I must say, reading your post does make me feel better about my situation. Thanks a bunch!

Right, like my OP clearly states. Including the reasons why. If you need help, it's on page one.

As my OP alludes to, I was in a committed relationship in high school. It lasted fifteen months.

Thank you Dako, I'll take your advice into consideration. And thank you for addressing me directly.

Okay, people, I should clarify. I will NOT flat out lie to her.

I am 26 years old and am still a virgin. I have had plenty of sexual encounters, but I've never gone all the way. There's been opportunity, but I've never wanted to. No religious or moral reasoning behind it; I just haven't had the right connection with anyone, and I don't want to go all the way with a fling. I was in love once in high school, but we agreed we wouldn't have sex until we were older, just in case an accident happened. We broke up before graduation, so virgin I remained. I have been dating this girl (23 years old) for about a month now and we have hit it off brilliantly. In other words, we're both in the "Cloud 9" stage. She is not a virgin. I don't know how many sexual partners she has had, but I do know that she does not like flings either, so it is likely she treats intercourse as something special as well. She assumes I am not a virgin (just by the context of some things she has said, and hey, who wouldn't assume this for a 26 year old male), but she hasn't asked me about my sexual past either. I believe we are on the brink of making our relationship exclusive. The other night I realized that if that happens, I want to make love to this woman. The thing that shocks me is that I feel this way...I've never wanted to go all the way with anyone, and the fact that I feel so comfortable and nonchalant about it amazes me. What I've been debating is whether or not I should tell her I am a virgin. I have been with three women in the past few years who stopped dating me, telling me they couldn't be with a guy who didn't want to have sex (I never said I wouldn't, but I didn't want to have sex on the second date, so hey). Granted, none of these women were likely long-term material (and, incidentally, loved to have flings), but this history has provided me with caution lights on broaching this topic. I'm worried that if I tell her I am a virgin, having sex suddenly becomes a HUGE DEAL. It will put us on uneven ground, and a whole slew of thoughts might go through her head. "Is he that serious about me?" "Is he in love with me?" She may think I'll have unrealistic expectations. And because I've had enough girls "freak out" over the fact that I am a virgin, I would hate to risk that again, especially since this is not a HUGE DEAL to me. I mean, it would be a very important thing to me, in that I feel close to this girl, but that feeling would be mutual. Also, the last thing I want to do is give a drawn out explanation about the reasons for my virginity. By doing that, it becomes a HUGE DEAL once more. And if I try to downplay the whole thing? She may think I'm being insincere. I love communicating my feelings, and I expect the same in a relationship, but my gut tells me this is a case where talking is superfluous. Of course, if I did bring it up, she may be totally cool with it and think it's sweet. It might turn her on, knowing that she'd be "making me a man." But she could get the same feelings if, say, I told her three months after the fact. I don't think she will ask me how many people I've slept with, at least not now. Like me, she likes to keep some things secret, and I don't think she really cares about my history. In other words, I can easily dodge the topic (by being cocky and funny) if it comes up, because she won't demand to know an answer. Has anyone else been through this, on either side? Validations, reservations, and clarification questions welcomed. ~Softiron