Soulseeker

Great idea! Thanks!

Hi, g1234567890h Thats great that you found someone withouth having to modify yourself, thats brilliant! I did like your reply in an ideal world I suspect thats how it should be. Lucky you, but also good on you. I will try a careful, blend, ie gradually introduce my self, not all at once, like all the previous posts (by the girls), they all said that girls like all that stuff, hell I bet for every man who writes poetry to his girl there are 1000 that don't so that would place me in a ideal position, it was not too much, just too quick, as one of the girls posted earlier. thanks for the help guys.

Hi, The very first reply post to this question, is 100% on the money, listen to him! About your valentine Dilema, yes get her something, but something tiny and cheap and almost worthless. Like a little plastic toy duck, with a little tiny card (make one cut one out of a bigger red card if you have to, say an inch and a half by an inch) write a little message on it like. Hey its valentines, I didn't want you to feel left out or alone, so I got you this duck to keep you company... Also notice a duck/ cute nice but not a bear! bears or fluffy furry toys are associated with romance, ducks are not, she will just see that as curious and sweet. Get some string and tie the note around the toy ducks neck. voilla.. Also keep cool, keep cool, keep cool. The vibes you give off are more important than your looks or status at this point in time. So always be nice, but never appear to need any affection from her, that will come from her, and when it comes you must recognise her advance and then act instantly, kiss her. if you don't you will have failed part two.. later

Hi, Dude you sound like you are in serious emotional pain, and I feel for you, I my self am going through a similar state of "rejection" and I know what it feels like, I can't stop thinking about her, and what I did wrong, for more info you can check my post under: How to come back from a date that went bad? But to get to your issue, which is a bit different to mine (but end result is a broken heart).. I think there are two reasons for a gril to tell you "there would never be an us" 1. She is deliberately trying to get you to hate her, if this happens she knows you won't make any more advances on her (however innocent they may seem, she has you pinned down for some one who wants more than just being friends) 2. She is a nasty cow. If its scenario 2, get over her already! Scneario 1, you might still have a chance, its a million to 1 shot, so basically nothing don't expect any thing, it involves you pulling out of her space for a while, it might be 3 months, if she contacts you in during this time ignore her, but she probably won't.. then you can try contact her, tell her you were insane, tell her you are dating someone else etc (lie if you have to), if she asks about your date, be shy about it, don't tell her anything, tell her you think that telling her might jinx it for you etc..see if you can strike up a friendship, try make her laugh, always appear to be disinterested, if you ever see her face to face, avoid eye contact, look at other girls that walk by, "don't comment on them but look at them", generally try to be a bit of what us nice guys call an a-hole. You might notice her interest in you start to come back, if so keep playing it cool, make her come to you this time, she needs to be practically begging you before you give her flowers again, and don't think of doing so until you are well settled into first base on a regular occasion, I would wait for the home run personally. Right earlier I said be funny, you might not be a funny chap by nature, but if you are intelligent then you can be funny.. "what you say?" yup, this is the trick, if you get into a situation when you talk to a girl, and you want to make her laugh, (you don't have to be the town fool to do so), intelligence can win over any obstacle i believe. What you need to do is try let her do most of the talking, pay real close attention to what she says, constantly in your mind you are thinking, based on a topic or thread she has just said "is there any thing funny I have seen/heard or personally did in regards to what she just mentioned).. if so, get in on the conversation ASAP, and mention your funny story, and thats how to make a girl laugh.. peace of cake if you have the IQ. Don't stop paying attention, don't stop constantly trying to think of something funny relating to what she says, even if it seems silly or stupid, just blurt it out! Back to the specific girl,if you don't notice her showing an interest in you, forget it, forget her, its not going to happen as she says. So to sum up your chances are close to zero, but in scenario 1, you might just have a very very tiny miniscule shot. later,

Hi Jemba, Well yup i agree with some of the previous posts, your friend is breaking the rules, so you need to tell him the rules. BUT BE COOL. Step 1, inform all your common friends (people that have influence in your lives, friends that know him and your gf in other words your common friends) tell them all prvately of your problem and that you will be confronting your friend. Tell them you think he might be an a-hole, but you are not sure, you will discover that in due course, and that you have a plan. Step 2 confront your friend BE COOL, tell him with out appearing to be threatening to him, you must act differently to what your gut tells you! be cool!. You must show him that you feel threatened by his behaviour and that it upsets you, you are going to try and get him to feel for you, for him to be sympathetic to you, (this is your plan, you must tell him he makes you feel threatened) .. you are trying to draw him out, tell him "your my friend right?", yes he replies, "you know I don't like it when you and gf flirt". "uh/yes" he replies. "it makes me feel threatened when you flirt with her, it makes me feel bad, it upsets me, I feel threatened" you continue, .. if he is your true friend or a liar he will reply "oh my god I will stop right away, I didn't realise...", then you wait (very important tell your group of mutual friends of what happened) let time pass , see if he does it again then you know he is a lying a-hole. otherwise he backs off, you will have what you want and know he is your friend. If he laughs/jokes replies negatively to what you have to say about how you feel threatened, then again he is not a true friend he is an a-hole. Ok so out of the above there were 3 cases 2 he is an a-hole , 1 he is your friend. If he is an a-hole, you need to expose him to all your firends, remember all the people you secretly told that you were going to find out what is going on by confronting your friend?, This group of friends will give you the power, let them all realise he is an a-hole, get them talking, the group will back you up and even go up against him if you prove him to be an a-hole, get them on your side, expose the fact that he is a lying a-hole and then you will have power, and he who has the power has the girl! thats the laws of this world. later Rob.

um just wanted to say thanks again for all your replies, they were all GREAT!

Ok thanks for all the replies, if I were a currency then I had good value initially, and then totally devalued my self to the level of manure in no time, only got my self to blame, I swear not a day goes by with out me saying to my self "how could you be so stupid, and is there a way to some how erase your actions and start again?".. Perhaps as one of the previous posts suggest she might contact me, I have held my silence its been 10 days. However I feel an overwhelming need to somehow pull this one back, (I have always been able to judge a person on the first meeting, I have emaculate instincts and I have never been wrong, and something is screaming at me that I should persue her) thats why I posted here, I want to "revalue my currency", and i guess the only way to do that is to be cool. I havn't tried contacting her in 10 days, last contact I had was an email she sent me and I replied, but she hasn't got back to me (I know she has been out the country (work trip to vietnaam) so thats probably why, I suppose she will write when she's back) , if she sends me another one I will purposefully leave it for 4 days then reply, with a line like "oh how nice to her from you , I been meaning to reply to your email but... bla te blah some excuse or pretend to be having other dates that are going well etc.".. if any thing interesting happens I will post what happens here. To the guy who said be the same don't change etc, um yes , err maybe in a dream world, I have no doubt what you say is true, but for every girl that likes poems drawings songs after date 1 and 2 there must be 1000 that think run run run! ayeee run!.. I mean I know I have been there, when a girl comes on too strong I grow long legs and make for the nearest exit!, I don't know what it is, but there is some really weird instinct to run, when in the end thats exactly what you want.. buhh we huuuu-maaans are strange!! later,

Hello, I have an internet profile on a dating website, a girl contacted me, and we exchanged emails for a couple of weeks on a daily basis. I made two videos and posted them on youtube of myself for her to watch, she obviously liked me. Then we went on a first date, we met at a bar/restaurant had some drinks & supper, at the end of the date she said she was paying and that I would get the next one. I wrote her an email the next day, she replied via email said my email made her feel special. I sent her a song I wrote about her the day after, she replied and said the song made her feel special. We had a second date, (all on me this time) we had dinner, and then went to the theatre, at the theatre I gave her a pencil drawing I made of her internet profile picture. This seemed to go down like a lead baloon, the date went very flat after that, after the theatre we went for a drink, then she said she had to get home etc.. early start bla bla, and that she wasn't interested in me in that way, and lets be friends etc. She wrote me an email the day after, saying how good the theatre was and we should get together and watch another some time.. etc.. I replied in a friendly manner, since then its been a week and no email from her, ofcourse I have not emailed her. My question is uh? Did I come on too strong, I took my queue from "the email made me feel special" & "the song made me feel special".. was that a mistake? I guess in the end I did come on to strong.. but the question that really bugs me is : is there any way I can get another chance? I have an sad feeling that the answer is no. But the fact is that she did like me in the first place, that much I think is true.. so is there a way to pull this one back? Any one with similar experiences, either on my side or the side of the girl please let me know what happened. I have not emailed her so as not to appear needy, but also, I can't but help feel that if I don't email her she will think that I must have been a big lier/fake by appearing to want her so much & then all of the sudden go stone cold (could that just be another bastard?).. heeeeeelp!!! How can I pull this one back? any genious ideas?: