I'll make this as quick as I can. Last year, I did the unthinkable and cheated on my ex. She found out, and, like the saint that she is...she took me back. But, because of the fact she told everybody we knew, and my desire to be single, I said we needed to take a break. Well, we still had sex, so I thought, "She ain't goin' anywhere". WRONG. One day, she decided to end our "thing". I hurt her too many times (we broke up in the summer of 2002 as well, for different reasons), so she wanted to end her pain. At the time, I thought it was bull, but, when she moved on, and when I started to miss her, it hit me. It was my turn (rightly so) to feel heartbreak.
Fast forward to this month (May). In the past few months, I've looked myself and changed a lot. Became a better man. Stopped calling my ex so much. Totally blamed myself. Got spiritual. Admited my all around immatuity. Graduated college. A 180 from where I was. And...I thought I was over my ex. WRONG again. I called her, and we talked about who we were dating currently. I told her I met a few women, nothing serious. She went ahead and had a hot, steamy one night stand this past weekend. On the phone, I wasn't bothered by her fling at all. But, when I got off the phone, I crumbled.
I thought I was over this woman. But...I'm not. I'm totally lost. And...I still love her. But, I don't even have the right to, after all the crap I put her through. So...why can't stop thinking about her?