katcoloradolost

He is 18, and he was in relationships before.. but things that didnt last long.. He is known to hurt girls a lot.. I am probably the only girl he still talk to and are close after all this time.. to me it means something.. He lost his mother 2 years ago.. and his friend think that because of that.. he doesnt wanna be close of female.. but it's just speculation..

1 week ago, we talked.. and he opened up to me like he never did before.. He told me he was affraid of commitment, that he was scared and that he pushed me away because he got scared, not because he didnt like me.. Now we are back "together" kind of, we spend a lot of time together.. 8h a day or so, we talk.. phone.. text.. Sometimes we would be close and flirt a lot.. and he wants me.. but at the second theres something where i get too close, he push me away.. tell me to meet other people.. he will get distant.. to then come back, get close of me again.. I need to know what to do.. I really love him and I wanna work things out with him.. Any advices on how to deal with people that are scared of commitment? or, if you are one of these people.. tell me what are scared off exactly? to help me understand why he is.. Thank you. Kat

For the last 2 years, I have been having problems on and off with love. I got out of the relationship I was in for 4 yrs, a really boring one. I met that guy who liked the same music as me and was into party a lot.. and since my ex wasnt into these things at all.. I became close with him. Just friends, but we would spend 12h a day together and talk really openly about everything. An amazing friendship.. Then, this guy started a band and we would spend less time together, and at this time I met a guy. We became close and were dating. He told me he loved me and wanted to be with me. But, 1 week before our date as a couple. He changed his mind. I had a hard time recovering from it. Because I gave all my time and my energy to this person. He had anxiety problem and would freak out sometimes about our relationship. But, being in love.. I decided to stick with him and not ditch him. Then, we decided to be friends and things were good. Like 2 best friends. Till I met another guy and he got jealous. He was very possesive of me. Got a fight with him and we haven't talked since. Then, that other guy, very sweet and nice with me. Wanted to be with me.. but he also changed his mind about me after a while. He went from, ya i wanna be with you, I love you.. to.. just friends. We are still friends now. Got sick of it and decided to take times for myself. Til, Oct, where that guy I was close told me he had feelings for me and wanted to be with me.. but.. who also changed his mind about me after 3 weeks.. and since then, i keep hoping.. and i give myself to that person 100%.. sometimes more.. its the only person who give me back what i give to him.. but now we are friends only.. but.. he is close, and share with me, talk to me, care for me.. we talk and do things like a couple.. be he say he dont love me, im just a friend.. we even fight like couples sometimes.. i dont know what to do.. im lost, i know i am the kinda person who give herself a lot to ppl, and i dont know how to do without loosing myself.. because sometimes i really feel that i do.. and i dont want that.. but if i dont give myself to that person, i will feel like i neglect him..

I don't know what to do with this, I still love him and I want to get back with him. But he started to date other girls and it's making me sad. He leave comments to them on MSN next to his name. Yet the comments change names every 2-3 days. When I show signs that I want to get back with him. He say I am crazy and pushes me away. Yet, everyday he text me, is very nice with me, help me, talk to me, care for me. I don't know what to do, think.

My friend is homealone right now, not feeling too well right now. His friends are gone to college and the remaining ones don't wanna do anything with him. He told me he hates to be alone and he been depressed a lot lately for many reasons. We live 6h away from each other so I cant drop to his house, but i dont know what to say to him.. Any advices?

the next day, after he said i was f...ed in the head.. i deleted the thing i wrote about him.. (i have feelings for...) and last night he sent me a message.. sorry kat, i see you deleted that paragraph, hope your ok and not mad at me i replied with this: nah lol i removed it by respect for you what happened is that.. A week and half ago you told me you still had feelings for me and asked me if i still had feelings for you.. (you were drunk, dont know if you remember it) and also how the things went, after you told me not to go see you.. i knew you needed time to solve your stuff and not having me around adding more stress.. so i just backed down and waited.. you telling me you had feelings for me for a while.. and you wanted me to go to see you so bad.. I think I just did what any normal person would have done for the person she love.. cause, you were in love with me Alex, and I didnt wanna just.. quit and let you down at the first occasion ya know.. I think it was just the normal thing to do.. Having someone in love with you, that you love too.. and cause he need time to solve stuff.. let him the time he need and wait for him.. you know me.. it's not my kind to just turn around when I care so much for someone.. And ya know.. My opinion about you havent changed, you are an amazing guy.. true, caring and sweet.. and so much more.. Im glad we are friend and that have this amazing way to talk.. and i totally understand your reaction when you saw what i wrote.. I Just wanted you to know and see it the way I was seeing it on my side (it's 4am... im tired.. i hope what i said make sense lol) 4 of my real life friends told me to ditch him and stop talking to him.. but I don't know.. i really feel that he is shy or low selfesteem or i dont know what.. and that theres is something between us still.. am i stupid and in love that it makes me blind or im right

I seem to ask about this thing a lot lately, but i am so confused.. don't know what to think, what to see.. how to see things.. That guy and I are friend for 1 yrs and half now.. After about 10 months of friendship.. We flirted but it was cute and light flirt.. text each other cute messages.. call.. we would have these really intense and interresting conversation.. and he opened up to me more then some people.. We would talk with friends and he would say something.. and i would say, ha! i knew you would say that.. and he would say.. ya you know me.. and me.. i do yah! and would smile at each other.. something really close and nice.. He invited me on dates before.. 3 times.. and each time he backed down.. saying, nah its not a good idea.. and then not talk to me for a while.. then come back in my life.. I am a really comprehensible girl so, I just said ok.. he got scared.. i cant be mad at him for that.. and we would be friend again like nothing happened.. in october he said he had feelings for me.. that he been for a while.. and cause he went to college outside the city, he live in a dorm and we coudnt see right away.. we were texting and calling.. and saying how we would kiss when we see.. cuddle be together.. Then, he got problem at school and said, i cant see you right now.. i need to fix stuff with school.. im about to get kicked out.. I said, ok take the time you need to fix everything, ill wait for you to have time.. I didnt hear from him for a month.. then, around thanksgiving.. He sent me a message on msn saying he got kicked out of school.. and he was back home.. we talked and we were close like before.. but after 3 days he started to push me away, he was extremely down and didnt want to see anyone.. His friend would call and text and he didnt answer them, but when i was the one doing it.. he was texting me back.. Then, he one night on msn.. he come back home and he is drunk.. he say "i like you.. do you like me" and i say "lol its a real question or you quote Borat" and he said both.. I told him yes i do like you and then he didnt answer for a few.. cause he was in a game at the same time, he came back and said, i dont feel good.. ill go sleep.. ill talk to you later.. Then, he saw something I wrote on a website we both go to, its similar to myspace/facebook but different.. but we have profiles there. In my profile i say "i have feelings for ..name of the person.." He sent me a message saying "what you wrote about me is crazy" and i said.. "what do you mean its crazy" and he said its just crazy insane.. I sent him a message asking.. hey i know im smart (cause he always say im very smart and we joke about that) but what do you mean but its crazy insane? do you mean that i have mental problem or that its kewl that i do.. he said.. not to be mean but i think your kinda f-BEEP-ed in head if you have feelings for me ----------- I don't know what to think.. should I push or not? Also, i know that everything he said to me is true.. him having problems at school.. its not just an excuses he said to not see me.. he really had problems

I sent a message to him tonight.. and i asked him, hey i know im smart (cause he always say im very smart and we joke about that) but what do you mean but its crazy insane? do you mean that i have mental problem or that its kewl that i do.. he said.. not to be mean but i think your kinda in head if you have feelings for me ..... That was his answer

Im 20.. I am scared that if I ask him out on a date he will say no. And I am scared that it will ruine our friendship for ever. Thats why I want to make sure he like me. And, with a tons of mixed signal it's hard to know. His good friend that is also my good friend too call him he don't pick up or don't text back. But when I do he answer right away. But then the next day something will happen and he will be distant. Then 2-3 days later.. be close and talk to me and show he care a lot. Its confusing and when I ask him, he answer without answering clearly.

sry i just need your opinion once again.. and i dont want to start a new post for it. I asked that guy "what do you mean.. why do you think its crazy" and he said "because its just so crazy insane" I have no idea what it means?! Does he think I am crazy, that I have a mental problem? that he doesnt agree with it? I don't know how to see it.. as i said in another post, yes I do live in Co. but english isnt my first language and I am still learning english. What do you think of his answer?

More info can be found here.. in thread 163977 Now my english isnt perfect. I am not american but I live in Colorado. I know he is imature when it comes to girls and maybe he doesnt have a lot of experiences. What do you think about his reaction "that whole paragraph about me is crazy" I have no idea what he means by that.. I know what the word "crazy" means but, does it means is bad or good? We talked before and were extremely close, then the school thing, and he started to talk to me again around thanksgiving, and every time he have a chance he talk to me.. then.. the thing "crazy" What do you think? Also, what would you recommand I do to help me with this.. things to say.. force him? not force him? (if the crazy thing is a good one that is) Thanks

Thank you so much your answers.. I will ask him on a date =) You gave me the boost I needed! Love both of you!!

he is 18.. his friend told me he was imature when it comes to girl.. I just dont know what to do to "push him" like you say.. and the thing about saying how it's crazy.. scared me.. like, i was happy for the last couple days about him saying he like me.. and added me to his new profile on the site we both go.. And then.. "that thing you wrote about me is crazy" when it says "i have feelings for ..name.. and im just waiting for him to solve his problems.. but i care and think about him a lot" (cause he got kicked out of college and was going tru some stressfull stuff) I was there for him and he didnt want me around, he pushed me everyone away.. and his friend (the one who says he is imature) says he was ashamed and didnt want me to see him like that..

We been friends for about 1 yrs and half.. and he always said he opened to me more then some people. We were also texting each other cute messages.. like good night love, love you, love you too! it was just flirting.. but nothing more.. He invited me on dates too but he changed his minds each time. But no matter what he came back to me.. to then leave.. to then come back.. I don't know if it's because he is scared. I wrote something on a site I go to (not myspace) and I said "I have feelings for ..name of the guy who quoted Borat..." He said "that thing you wrote about me is crazy" it's confusing

I was on MSN, a friend of mine came online and.. we started to talk.. after a while he say: I like you, do you like me? i say lol and i ask, is this a real question or you quote Borat? he say: both. So I say, real question: ya i do =) and movie quote: heh funny =P and then he said, im sick ill go to bed, ill talk to you later, good night! and i said ok night, ttyl. What do you think of this thing?

Lets say you met that person, and that you love each other, but.. for some reason, things don't move much because he is scared.. What would you do?

thank you for your answers everyone.. i havent logged out since i wrote this, and i read the other post people made.. hoping to find answers for my own situation.. do i stop to talk to him completely or i remain near? I am always in this chat room we go to.. only the two of us.. he knows i am always there, and if for any reason i am not, he then log on msn asking me.. If I don't pick up the phone, he will call me every 30 seconds to be sure i will answer.. So i just.. answer less? I just texted my friend (the one who saw him) and he said "Eric said: woudn't say that" when he asked him "Are you and Kat dating?" What if, he meant.. "woudn't say that we are more like a couple" or maybe he meant "woudn't say that" like.. no we arent dating.. i dunno.. Im gonna try one last time tomorrow to talk to him.. and then.. what do i do, cut the link completely or.. slowly? what's best?? Thank you again for your answers.

First post here, not sure where to go anyone for advices. I am sick of crying. 2 years ago, I met this guy.. He liked me right away.. and always did for these 2 yrs.. I always liked how he talked and how we were able to talk with each other. We would talk a lot for months, then not talk for a while.. and then talk again.. Until about.. 5 months ago.. We talked more and he told me "I always liked you, I was with different girls but its you I wanted to be with" We decided to date.. We went out a couple times and one night he said, "you are my girlfriend" and i said "i have no problem with that" We would say I love you all the time to each other.. Things were perfect for a while.. Then, one night we went in this club together and he had his LP (music) rare ones.. And I was in charge of em but someone dragged me outside for about 10 mins. And when I came back, his LP were gone. I tried to search em but they got stolen. He accused me and said it was my fault he lost his LP.. Since then, I work my ... off to find these LP again for him 1 by 1... even if I have to pay 1000$ for one. I will get em back. I know i didnt do anything so it's not my fault but, i still feel bad and I love him. But since then, things arent as nice as they were. He will be more independent. We still spend a lot of time together but, some night he wont call. Wont reply my text. I always know where he is but things are different.. I told him, I miss the time where we would say i love you all the time, (told him on MSN) and he never replied. Last week I told him, I love you.. he said "luv you 2" I asked him about 5 times lately, do you think we could talk? We have things to discuss. And he is always "yeah sure" but then, he dont call. Or don't log on msn to talk to me. Again tonight, I told him. Wanna come on msn so we can talk? He said "sure" and I waited.. for nothing.. Last night a friend of mine saw him downtown and asked him "Are you and Kat dating" he said "No" My friend called me and he said "I tought you and Eric were dating" and I said hm yea why.. he said, I asked him and he said you werent together. Another of his good friend said "he doesnt show emotions yet he care a lot for you" I don't know what to do. I am the sweetest girl on earth with him. Always here for him always doing what he ask me to. Never mean. Always listening to him when he needs me. Always giving him the space he need. The other day something happened with his friends, he called me and was pissed. I calmed him down. How do I save things, how do I revive the thing we have? How do I make him talk to me. I can't chain him at a chair and make him talk. It's mean and I want him to make his own choices. I love him, I care for him. I know he do to. But things change and I don't know what to do. Please help me. Help me understand what I dont. Kat