JazzGtr
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Everything posted by JazzGtr
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Does anybody think it means anything that she hasn't told any of her family? I know. I'm reaching. -wp
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No. I just do message boards. I can learn how to set something up though. What's a 17 year old doing on a divorce board anyway? -wp
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Thanks man. -wp
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I'll take advice from anybody at this point. I know what I've done though. I just hope she gives me the chance to fix it. She's the most wonderful person I've ever met. -wp
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Thank you so much for that. I truly appreciate it. -wp
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I'd appreciate if you'd pray she gives me the chance. If she's trying to send me a message, it sure was received. -wp
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No, she's never even threatened. That's why this is so devastating. I knew she was unhappy - and I certainly wasn't doing what I should have done to fix it - but I had no idea it was this bad. -wp
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If he's like me, you'll have to move out and threaten divorce to get him to wake up. -wp
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Well, she hasn't actually left yet. She only told me when we woke up this morning. I intend to give her as much space as my broken heart will let me. -wp
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She won't call. I'll have to call her. I told her everything I've said here this morning and I meant it - still do. And if she gives me a chance to prove it, I'll be the best husband ever. I just hope she gives me the chance. -wp
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All true and totally fair. I can't believe I've done this. We never fight though. In fact, all day as she's been packing we've hugged and basically acted like nothing is wrong. I've never yelled at her once. I've certainly never contemplated hitting her or anything. But you're right. All I can do now is pray I guess. -wp
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Thanks. I'm negative because she's totally right and I've known it all along. I have done everything she said I did. I was sorry the minute I did it but I never corrected it even though she told me it hurt her. I can't spend time with her daughter because she's back in California with her dad. She sent her there to have both their insurance cover her braces and, as she tells me this morning, because she didn't want her to see this. -wp
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Yes, I'm giving up drinking immediately. -wp
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Thank you for replying. I'm definitely going to try and give her some space. We have a lot of happy memories and I hope those are the ones she associates with me soon. About her and her relationship with her daughter. Her daughter was only 2 when we got together so she's called me Dad her whole speaking life. I have been resentful of that relationship because they are so close. I could have been so much better as a dad to her daughter. And I could have been so much better of a husband if I didn't make her feel bad for spending so much time with her daughter. I truly screwed up. She doesn't have many friends. Her sister lives here. I never asked her not to acquire friends. But I never encouraged it either. And the only true friends I have live out of town. We live kind of in the suburbs so pretty much any activity requires quite a bit of driving. I wish she'd slammed me a couple of years ago before the damage amassed. I'm the kind of person who needs a deadline or an ultimatum to do the right thing sometimes. I kind of need space as well. I've been so frustrated with being unable to make her happy that I've been quite stressed myself. But we love each other. At least I think she still loves me. Someone tell me it won't end here. I'll change. I've already changed. -wp
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Hi William. You sound like a great guy. Let her go and meet someone else. You deserve better. -wp
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I should probably add to this. Her family lives in California and, being somewhat financially challenged, they are very close and lean on each other a lot. She and I are somewhat affluent and I think she feels guilt over this. We also kind of rushed into our relationship and we didn't talk as much as we should so I kind of misjudged what her family relationships were all about. She didn't really make many overtures at first about seeing them so I figured she didn't want to. She mentioned abuse by her father and step mother. I had no idea until a couple of years ago that she needed her family so much. She tells me I pitted myself against her family. I guess there's some merit to that. If I had it to do over again, I'd sure do it differently. Her daughter was the same story. Very close. Very affectionate. They'd lay on each other on the couch. I thought she was making kind of a lap baby out of her so I'd roll my eyes. I so totally misjudged that relationship and her need for it. Same as her family, she didn't really demonstrate the need for a circle of friends so I thought I was enough for her. Turns out she avoided a lot of contact with people because of me. I'd ask when she'd be home, etc. and, like anyone else, from time to time resisted her going out but I guess I messed that one up too. She hates Arizona and hates being away from her family. I wonder if she blames me for being "stuck" here. We met here. I've never cheated on her and she's never cheated on me. I've never even thought about it. I don't think she has either. I'm a kind of "trust but verify" person having been screwed over in my first relationship ever. I have never had a single reason to distrust her. But I did a horrible job of showing trust in her. She's been unhappy for a long time and a lot of stuff has built up but does this sound like two people who should get divorced? I'll do anything. Give her space, change my attitudes, I drink a couple of drinks a night and I'll give that up happily. This all seems so extreme. Help. -wp
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And I'm devastated. I completely deserve it but I have to find a way to keep it from happening. We've been together for 9 years, married for 7. We went through two divorces to get together in the first place. I've completely wrecked the best thing I ever had. I wouldn't say I was overly jealous but her daughter, friends, family, etc. were some of the things I didn't do well with. She's going to stay with her sister for awhile. She says we might be able to work it out but she's got years of pain and resentment to get over. She won't enroll in counseling at this time. She just needs space. How do I make her love me again? -wp