Clementine orange

^ You're a romantic Clementine

Yes I am. It's one of those things that's both good and bad. Sort of like having X-ray vision (which I don't have).

Hey, here's an idea: find ONE girl and kiss her 100 times.

Wait for at least three weeks and then review the situation. If you are really going to break NC then do it when you are strong, not when you are weak.

Think about it.

Christmas 2002. They were giving out flowers at work. She got a Lily. She was standing near a window and it cast a shadow on the floor. She was standing in that way that is so unique to her, poised and postured. She was twirling the flowers between her fingers, flipping her hair and smiling and talking to someone. Tall and lean, she was wearing a dark purple turtleneck sweater and black jeans. I watched her from accross the room and started melting.

I fell in love with her right then and there.

Too bad she had a boyfriend, too bad she took the flower and went home to him. Too bad I went home alone. Too bad when she left she came over to say while smiling: "Merry Christmas Clementine". I could smell the lily and I could smell her hair. Too bad for me.

She didn't know... she didn't know I was falling in love with her. She still doesn't. I never told her, I never even hoped to dream it.

Falling in love with someone isn't always great...is it?

I've moved on since, but I will never forget that lily moment.

(geez something got caught in my eye just now...)

Textbook sleazy male manipulation attempt.

Stop worrying.

Maybe she told you about the good sex with her as "stock answer" she tell anyone. The real truth is that the guy manipulated her and threatened her and did whatever (like the posters mentioned above). Pride won't let her admit that that's why shy stayed, so "good sex". Perhaps she should have given that answer a little more thought before dumping it on you but anyway.

Here's a clue for you. You don't need lots of experience to give someone good sex (some is helpful of course) what you need is intuitiveness. Get that.

Know the girl, communicate. And read some books about sex.

And stop worrying 'cause that will wreck everything.

Men are taught at an early age to never give up. Keep trying and trying and trying until you succeed. The more effort you put into acheiving something, the more you have to continue to do so to make all your past efforts not be wasted. Never accept "no" for an answer, to fail in your goal is the worst kind of failure. Hearing "no" just means try harder. Never give up your dreams etc etc, you know what I mean? Does any of this sound familiar?

This is in our bones from way back when we lived in trees.

Now this works really well in business and in war but with people? Not so much. I've seen this over and over and over.

Naturally being a real man (and human) means knowing when to give up, however ....

My advice: keep walking backwards (away from him) and don't give him an inch or any reason to hope

14 years or whatever, I'd be losing that "true love" concept now if you know what's good for you - it doesn't exist in real life. In movies, yes, in imagination, yes, in reality - not really.

You two have a "connection". Maybe down the road it will flower, maybe not. Just ride the waves.

Sheesh, If it wasn't for bad luck, you'd have no luck at all.

There's gotta be a nice one right around the corner - hang in there - you're playing the odds now!

 

I'm an extremely laid back and simple person, and this is just brutally stressful and tends to bring out the worst in me !

 

I love this guy and will do anything to help make this work,

 

 

I would end it. One can adapt oneself somewhat to make things work but one should have to change one's personality. Maybe some people were just not meant to be together. Sorry...

 

You say you "will do anything to help make this work" can you be sure he feels the same way?

I only had one over-riding all-encompassing plan: maintain sanity. I was coming from a messed up place so ....

I didn't have a car either - it was a drain on the resouces. I also watched my money very carefully. The homeless factor was terrifying for me so i was very cautious.

Go to the gym and work out. Try to achieve that "T" look that is unmistakably male. That and walk tall. Men and women walk differently. Don't worry about the long hair. Anthony Keidis is a man without any doubt.

You wouldn't believe how many people would actually envy you to be in that position. The possibilities are endless! Unfortunately that's what can drive you crazy. OK, I've done it. I've "disappeared" and relocated somewhere else. My biggest challenges were good old loneliness and too many options. Having money really helps. Doing this with no money is even harder.

I kept a journal, somehow that kind of grounded me. I also tried to maintain that sense of adventure, that sparkling new feeling. I ditched a bunch of old ways of thinking and doing things and bad habits and used this opportunity to remake my life and my attitude towards it.

One can never run away from one's self but one certainly can run away from elements of it (I called it pruning)

Good luck to you!

Cardio machines and watch the diet. The stairclimber is one of the wickest, but the simple treadmill is good too.

I forgot to add in that I think hooker shoes aka heels are very enticing and sexy

Agree!!!!!!!

I think most posters would like to know your ages before giving advice.

Regardless, you should have a talk with him - get this out in the open (don't have the talk when you are both horny either - clear head is better for this) Sex is for adults and adults discuss things. It's a pretty big step up in a relationship for most people

How close are you working together? See him everyday?

Picture the situation 6 months or so down the road after the messy breakup. Could you still work with the person? Seeing him everyday etc.

A couple inches not a problem - 6 inches and over and I would feel nervous - only because I'd be thinking that _they_ would be feeling strange about it.

I don't think someone should have to wear flats if they don't want to.

(I'm 5'8" which is kind of short for a guy according to some, however, I make up for it in other ways though)

A friend of mine "came out" to me a while back. My response "what on earth took you so long to make it official - we all figured out that was the case ages ago" - no big deal dude - any lovin' is good lovin' ".

I was supportive but also a little insulted that he didn't know me better (that I would be OK with it) and tell me ages ago.

Then again, maybe he was just practicing his speech on me before telling others who might not be so cool with it.

You are not gonna like the advice I give you:

You are 21!!!!!! You are too young to settle down. Live your life man or else you will wake up at 31 and realize you didn't sow your wild oats. You say you are mature etc and you post seems to display that but what you don't have is life experience. She's got it - you don't.

Of course this is the best relationship you have ever had and true love and all that good stuff. It is because she is older and knows what she is doing in this business 'o love. The women you were with previously were teenagers etc - still learning how to do this.

I'm 37, it is inconveable that I would be in a relationship with a 21 year old - know matter how mature. The life experience factor would sinply not add up. 37 is midlife - mortgages, careers changing, aging parents, kids, bad knees, life insurance all that - at 21? - hell know you are legal to have a beer. The party is just beginning for you.

[how many of us 30 somethings wish they knew then what they know now!]

“Eagles we see fly alone; and they are but sheep which Always herd together.”

Sir Philip Sidney - (some dead white guy)

I'm a loner too, it used to bother me (or worry me, rather) because I thought I was missing out on something. I've come to realize that it is they, the ones who are surronded by people always, who are missing out on some things.

I've wondered if those who are social butterflies, constantly in contact with others, talking all the time or feel the need to be in a relationships all the time - going from one partner to the next with nary a break are afraid of their own thoughts. Afraid of of having to face their own existence. Perhaps they use others to escape what they think is the misery of being themselves. Just a thought.

As far as friends go, this is a case of quality is so, so much better than quantity.

It's nice to hear a positive, happy and hopeful posting! So it does exist! it is possible.

Best of luck dude and congratulations on breaking free.

My take on this: she likes you and wants to be with you but realizes that you are both going away soon and doesn't want to get hurt. She is in a delimma situation.

What to do? Just go along for the ride until the ride leaves. Don't get too emotionally involved. Keep it light and enjoy each other's company. Don't ask questions like "do you like me?"

Thanks for the information enotaloners. Here is the link for the website that Bud Bultman mentioned

link removed

Interesting site. I didn't know there were so many stateman and actors/actress who suffering from suttering.

Can I get some advice on this - hopefully from someone who suffers from stuttering or is very familiar with it.

I work with someone who stutters and deal with him verbally on a daily basis. Sometimes it is hard to understand and I usually know where he is going with what he is saying so I am tempted to finish his sentances for him. I'm not sure if that is insulting or not. He is a very nice man and I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings or disrespect him.

At this time I am just hearing him out but I would like to speed things along a bit.

Any advice - finish words/sentances or just let him struggle through it.