Clementine orange

In the immortal words of Mr. Spock (that;'s from the original Star Trek series kids) but is also a basic tenement of Buddhist philosophy

"Sometimes wanting is more a pleaserable thing than having; It's not logical but often true."

Time to move out. This will suck the life out of you eventually

yeah, I go with hug the dog. That unconditional love thing is great. In the abscencse of a dog (and I do pity you) - do good works: random kindness type things. It takes your mind of your own misery.

Re-reading a favorite book from your childhood can be comforting too. I haul out the Narnia series whenever Im feeling low

Yep, game player. I hate that crap. Ignore - if there's no audience there's no show.

I wouldn't be too surprised by someone deciding to get into shape and go to the gym after a breakup. Often people use break ups to make some major changes in their lives. In my case, it's too bad my ex didn't:

quit smoking, quit drinking, get fit, get a job, become sane etc etc while we were still together, it might have made a difference....OK off topic and why am I still mad about this??

It sounds like you are getting a bigger "slice of the pie" than the majority of couples do already. You should be satisfied.

Beware, the grass is greener on the other side of the fence type thinking.

A certain amount of angst and longing for what could be is part of the human condition and it spurs the creative process.

Doctors have seen it all anyway, nothing can surprise them. If you have some scratches or bruises or whatever (you crazy kids) then just explain.

There are two people that you should be brutally honest with (holding nothing back) - your doctor and your lawyer.

A few years ago my parents had the big meeting with my siblings and made us put post-it notes on everything we wanted after they die. It was totally goulish and we were all super uncomfortable about it. However, after much discussion one thing came clear: We (the siblings) didn't want to fight over this thing or that thing and that as long as it stayed in the family then we were OK. IE: my sister got the piano but I can visit it (and her) whenever so its all good.

The rents were very happy that we are all getting along and not being greedy and weird about things.

Depending on how "with it" your grandma still is (I mean, communication, understanding, etc) she might actually want to have her affairs well in order before the "big day". She might also get pleasure out of knowing that her assests are going to good places.

I'm also guessing that she would be very happy to know that you are all getting along, being fair to each other and not fighting about things. That's probably the best gift you can give her.

I think it is when you find out what the person is really like - how other people see them and have to deal with them.

It really is quite an interesting (yet scarring) phenomnum. To be honest, there has been a few times when I have thought "geez, I'm actually glad to see you go" because I didn't really like their "non in-love" personality.

(hmmm, so that's why none of my friends liked her)

If it is for business reasons then she probably appreciates you sticking to business. Keep the flirting etc for when you're not on the clock (or at least don't have something serious to talk about) Maybe she is even giving you points for know when to flirt and when not to.

Plus like the others said, don't read too much into one phone call - stress, busy-ness, someone in earshot - all these things and more could mean a more "brisk" telephone manner.

Sounds like she wants out but doesn't have the "guts" to come out and say it. Sorry man. Once the the sex goes its a sign.

Hunker down for heartbreak. Sorry again dude.

^^yeah that totally works for me as well^^ I like the "NOW" part!

Maybe you're right, I just didn't picture 'girls who immortalize on video tape for the entire world to see, the baring of their breasts on command from a bunch of drunken yahoos (in a desparate plea for attention)' to be the romantic type however now that I've thought about it, maybe they are the ones who need true romance the most.

^^really?^^ I should go there, I need calm big time

One has to have a certain amount of faith and trust in doctors. If you are in doubt a second opinion might help.

Didn't Kurt Cobain sing about lithium? Hmmmmm.

Ha, nothing spells romance like a good old spring break booze up. Chugalugs, frat boys and wet tshirt parties totally put the girl in the mood.

Theme parks? (endless lineups, over the top commercialism, crappy food, crowds, tourists, screaming kids, overpriced rides)

I'm with the poster "scout" - rent some bikes, go on picnics and find a secluded beach somewhere. How about rent a boat or something? No, not a paddle boat, a yaught and go for an open ocean ride. Scuba diving?

I think you pretty well covered all the bases there. Maybe playing with food? That could be fun.

Good job man, now it's in the hands of fate. (don't be checking your email every 5 minutes now - fate can sense desperation lol)

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't - you'll get better at this every time you do it. So you see - its a win/win situation.

Whatever, you were the one who was complaining.

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always had"

There are no athiests in the foxhole of broken hearts.

Did that come out right? I don't think so.

In the words of an old blues song (paraphrased sorta) "the Lord don't mind how you find him - so long as you finally do"

Hey, can I join in...? lol

 

 

I hate being single, too! It sucks... All your friends exclude you from going out with them as "couples!" You get lonely all the time!! You fall asleep alone, wake up alone... damn it, you might as well die alone! It's crap. Total crap!

 

Being alone is unnatural, unhuman and nonsense! I hate it and don't understand how anyone could EVER want to be uninvolved with another person intimately!! Seems almost... alien, to me! But whatever...

 

Bottomline, I hate it!!!

 

 

There, all done.

 

Dude, PM multivitimin, find out where she lives and if its within 50 miles ask her out. Sheesh.

Take that negative energy and put it into action. Your pic tells me that you're not hideous so fish or cut bait already. There is someone out there looking for you right now!!!!!!

 

axg275 - hurry up and do it and tell us what happens

 

I love him but not in love. I don't want to even have a physical relationship with him. I really dread intimacy with him. Honestly I want to be free but don't know how to do it without all the complications and pain. I fear losing my kids, being broke, and hurting my kids. I'm just so lost.

 

Thank you all for reading and I am sorry it was sooo long. My family supports me in leaving him but I feel bad for unloading on them all the time.

 

Crystal

You only have two choices: the status quo or leaving. Family support helps alot. I have found though that in relationships things tend to get worse in time.

There is no reason why you have to follow your "other" around just because he wants to live in the bush.

Sure it's scary - it's probably even more scary than you can anticipate right now, however, a loveless marriage and the lonlieness that comes with it is scary as well but it's the devil you know I guess....

tell her she owes you coffee for emailing the pic. she will probably laugh at that. ask her where her and her friends go on the weekends when they go out. she would feel more comfortable if her friends were there. then go out with ur buddies.

Disagree with the above. Lose the friends. Stand on your own two feet, you don't need the wingmen/women getting in the way - that's just a distraction.

Maybe she will laugh at the "owe you coffee for emailing", but that's just the point - it's funny and light hearted, make sure it sounds that way.

I'm telling you, if she is interested then it will work.

This is just my point of view however.

Don't be so available to him. He's havin' his cake and eatin' it (lucky bastard)

Totally agree on all of the above