Clementine orange

You have hit the nail the head when you theorize that your jealousy will drive her away. It's good that you recognize this as a bad thing and out of control. Perhaps you need to see a psychologist or counsellor without your wife.

This will eat you alive if you don't get a handle on it.

Note that if the only attention she ever receives from you is you "freaking out" on her then that will drive her away. Nobody likes that. There are some control issues afoot here.

Seek professional help as soon as you can!

I think you are probably overreacting too. You might be looking at this from a guy's persective - as in if you had a 15 year old son that was sleeping in the same bed as his male friend. Teen guys don't do that (unless there actually is something going on) but girls are less phobic and more affectionate with each other. Ever notice how teen girls hug each other and link arms etc sometimes? It's just different for them.

That's my opinion anyway.

I'd drop this issue and investigate the other issues that are causing problems in your marriage.

Thanks to everyone, these are good points and suggestions.

That's happened to me on a few occasions. Pretty strange feeling I gotta tell you - sympathies. Makes one wonder what one was dreaming about (if it's good enough to be removing clothes then wouldn't it be nice to remember it?)

Most guys just don't realize how sensitive women are about weight issues. He just might be kind of clumsy in the flirting/teasing department.

Believe it or not, lots of guys (not me though) bug each other about fatness levels, their own and thier girlfriends. I've even been witness to a beer belly comparison event with a bunch of guys.

Remember that guys have an easier time losing weight than girls do as well, because of our body structure and there is a whole lot less stimga attached to guys being 5 pounds overweight or whatever.

Look around, guys wear baggy jeans and baggie hoodies as a fashion statement, girls are "forced" to wear those tiny little skirts and crop tops. (Don't you girls get cold ever? Isn't it annoying to have to sit cross legged all the time)

There are exceptions of course

ps: guys in general like curves - hips and boobs. I really don't know what this Paris Hilton thing is all about.

Some may fantasize but some don't. I wouldn't necessarily say that is the case here.

Does he close his eyes throughout the whole act or just at the end?

I know that I used to be embarrassed about my "just about to cum" face - you know the bugging eyes, thobbing forehead vein and tongue lolling out routine. I figured that the girl doesn't need to be subjected to that. I have since gotten over that though.

Sometimes though a guy's gotta put his head down and focus and concentrate on the situation and looking you in the eyes might be a distraction sort of.

On a side note - who fantasizes about porn while being with a real flesh and blood woman? - why not just look at the porn - that is the fantasy after all.

I'm not sure what my problem is. For the past few months I have felt really tired all the time, difficulty concentrating and sleeping lots (sometimes disrupted sleep but other times right through) I have problems waking up in the morning, feel really lethargic, achy, headachy.

I haven't been going to the gym much because I've been lacking motivation to go (and the thought of hauling a bunch of weights around when I'm already exhausted doesn't appeal to me) When I do go I'm tired afterwards.

I also crave fattening and sweet foods. Yep gained about 10 pounds too - yech.

It boils down to "I don't feel like doing anything" this is very unlike the me that I like.

I have been under a fair bit of stress recently but nothing out of the ordinary for my crazy life

Any suggestions?

I offer words, not things. It does not matter if I trust the person or not. If at most I wish them luck for the future, I know that I am doing the slightest bit of good. Because while 75 cents can last a bus fare, giving someone compassionate advice can resonate for a while. It is just something I am getting into the habit of doing.

I really like this idea. I'm gonna do that too. New Years resolution, thanks easyguy

Depending on what country you are in, if it's the west (North America, Western Europe) then you are probably feeding an addiction.

Here in Canada, there a many, many soup kitchens, food banks and the like so I seriously doubt they are hungry.

The whole thing is really quite sad.

Your dollar would go alot farther donated to an agency that assists homeless people get on their feet. It does take a hard heart to turn them down though.

Nice letter, the problem is that it might be lost on him. Breaking up over the phone is pretty low. Sorry to hear. Chin up, be strong and all that. I bet it felt good to at least get something down in writing even if you never do send it.

Years later, he'll regret...

Didn´t I mention that being gay was a non issue as well?

 

Oh, I just assumed....

 

He did have a healthy sex drive (thin walls you understand) but it definitely wasn't aimed at women. But, oh yes, women desired him like you wouldn't believe! He would introduce them to me...with varied results.

Women; what makes a man desirable to you?

 

Phisically Caucasian, white, pale, tall, skinny, strong hands. Long blonde hair and blue eyes DO NOT HURT AT ALL. (baby!!!) Age range: 30-48. Tiny penises are a non issue

 

Mentally Cynical, atheist, anti marriage, not interested in having kids, great with animals, non sport freak, great sense of humor, strong sex drive, knows how to spell and write properly, non cheater/player, independent (in all senses), absolutely not a momma´s boy, does what he says and doesn´t say what he´s not gonna do, hates bullfights and hunting.

 

Others No kids, no wife, no girlfriend, not married, no debts. Having a vasectomy is a huge plus.

 

LOL, is this the answer to this post or my letter to Santa?

Sorry baby carrot, this particular species you are seeking has been hunted to extinction. Actually I had a roomate like this....but he was gay - sorry! Nice guy though

I wonder what the other side of this story is....

Check this link for my little anti-on-line dating rant

needless to say, I am not a fan! I seem to do waaaaay better in person.

Get some chocolates and if she doesn't call you back, eat em yourself

 

You're hilarious!!!!!!! Great philosophy!!

Don't dwell on this, continue with the healing process. You've made progress regardless.

Ok well now that you've explained the situation - I think you did the right thing.

 

You told her to stop. She didn't stop. Thus it is harassment. I think you did the right thing. You don't owe anything more to somebody once you've asked them to stop and they refuse.

I agree with avman here - you told her to stop and she did not. We (I) didn't have that information when I/we posted before. So... now I'm saying you shouldn't feel guilty - you asked her to stop and she did not - she had fair warning. Yes, sexual harassment and yes, you did the right thing.

Interesting that it goes both ways (female to male) I've never seen that before

It helps if you are still a teenager

However I'm not and I have. Just be really, really, really into it thats all. Resist the urge to roll over and fall asleep afterwards. Abstain for a few days beforehand too. Tantric works too - if you can handle it (that ain't something for teens either though)

Also - um, how long is a session?

At this point - a nice Christmas card only or maybe some inexpensive chocos or some flowes. Expensive gifts might be weird and/or pushy

Cigar smokers are probably less likely to lose their lighters I would think. It would make a good stocking stuffer!

Printer/fax etc, good - but not that romantic !?!

Good response!

Zippo lighter. Hmmmm, I have to assume he does actually smoke. Back in the day when I smoked I would lose lighters all the time. Most people do (hence the rise of the disposable lighter) it might be hurting if he did lose it.

Of course he could just keep it at home all the time. But ....

Not a weird gift if he is not the losing lighter type.

If she truley loved you then shewould be able to see the pain she is causing you. This is like manipulation, This is cruelty.

Christian eh? Ask her what would Jesus do?

Then you need to ask her what her intentions are. Brace yourself for an answer you might not want to hear (or even understand)

Check out my story of broken NC on this thread (which I wrote just now)

(in case that link doesn't work it's the "any advice on Christmas card?" thread) It comes under the heading of "be careful what you wish for"

Christmas 04. After 5 months total NC (survival technique after a massive heartbreak from me being dumped), and in a fit of weakness I sent her a Christmas card. " peace on earth" was all it said. She immediately responded. Over the next month or so, we emailed, we talked, we got together and then we became a couple again.

Happy story?

Nope.

We were "together" for about 10 days only. I broke it off. It was gone, the love was gone, the spark was gone, the connection was gone ... I had been holding on to a memory only and the reality was so much less. I don't regret it necessarily as it was a learning experience but a huge, huge disapointment - I honestly thought that if only I could get her back then I would be happy. I was wrong.

Think long and hard...

(epilogue: she totally freaked out when I broke it off and accussed me of orchastrating the whole thing out of revenge, she made a bunch of accusations of emotional rape and hard hearted male/neanderthal behavior.)

True story of breaking NC and how sometimes it doesn't work out. I am a wiser man now.