Steel72

I am going throgh a situation so similar with one of my friends...the choice between the 2 seems simple to me, she can't leave the new guy alone yet she runs home to her husband every night. Not to sleep with him but just becuase he is there, she is actually sleeping on the couch come nights. It just seems to me is to take a step back and get some time alone, away from both. That is the only way to see who you really want to be with, if any. It is unfair to the old and new guy nevermind yourself.

Well, she is telling herself that they are trying to work things out in the marriage BUT she continues to hound the other guy. He wanted to do a no contact for awhile and give her space, she continued to text message him, call him and they are speaking again, so much so that she was over his house this morning. People at work are now talking, where she used to hide it from almost everyone she seems happy to let people know she is persuing him now. He tells me there is only so many times he can say no to her but he is falling for her and it totally torn with the idea of her obviously being married. Pretty much all of us are telling her to take a step back but she refuses, she really seems to be so in love with the new guy but won't leave her husband. I am out of advice because I do know all 3 people involved here and I am sort of biased because the new guy is a friend/co-worker also of mine. Ugh, maybe I should mind my own business here......

I just want to help her go in the right direction.....just got off the phone with her actually before the 1st post. She was ready to leave Saturday night, bag packed and all and went apartment shopping that afternoon, she gave in to him. I have been where she is with an unemotional person and it is hard not to put myself in her shoes and give her some biased advice from my ex. She asks questions such as.....do I tell my husband about him? even though to the other mans credit he will not touch her until she is free. He is a co-worker of ours so she might be asked to leave her job by the husband also. She is also worried financially, it will be tough for her to be on her own. Again reasons not to stay with someone but it can feel like a safe shelter.

Ok, first off thank you to everyone on here for the past help, sometimes not posting my problems but just reading others and seeing how all of you give advice is enough to help a person through, that being said I need help on giving a co-worker advice, here is her story..... She's in a relationship with a man for 4 years now, she moved and met him in his home state, wanted to move back to her family and he said he would if they got married, so they have been and are getting ready to hit 1 year in about a month. Thing is she thought she was not happy because where they were, they moved and she is still unhappy. They both work and he is controlling from where she can go to her "allowance" every month. Recently in the past 4-5 months she has met someone else, a friend at first but it has turned into more than that of late. She tells me he refuses to go further with her because she is married and it is not fair to him or her husband but he wants to "see what happens"....she has tried moving out this past weekend but her unemotional husband became quite the opposite and told her they can work on things. But no longer than he said that she called the other man and needs to see and talk to him. She is very torn between the 2 of them and I am out of advice because I do know all 3 of these people personally. I asked her to post here and actually showed her the site on how you have helped me but she is shy so here I am reaching for your guys vast knowledge once again. I think moving out and being away from both is best right now, she does not love herself at all and I feel she needs to start there....thanks in advance.

Yes it was a lowpoint for me, I am actually a person who has always frowned upon people who do or even think of such a thing. So caught off guard. Today is a new day and she hasn't stopped, she actually called this morning and laughed because "I can't do anything right" She is actually making things clearer to me than they have ever been. I thank all of you again, and yes I will stick around here and keep you all updated.

I guess I am lucky and thanks to you guys I am still here....yesterday was so out of character for me and I think that is what scares me the most, so yes of course I am seeking help also. I never thought of doing what I did yesterday it took me by surprise also. I think everything caught up with me at once, the divorce, missing the girls and working 3 jobs, I wanted an easy "out" and for one moment in time it seemed like a "rational" idea....I am lucky and thank you, all of you.

I am going to the hospital.....please pray for me.

yes, I have and my family is coming also....I am sorry to burden you

No, I have been taking them, I have no reason to lie. I have been dealing with this for a long time with her, I have always been there. I just don't have the strength anymore. I am not sure if the damage has been done by tsaking these, I just hope God forgives me.

10.....the last few chains of events in my life hasn't helped, I reached out to someone and my church and have gotten nothing back. When the person you love the most tells you that she is just out to hurt you I have trouble understanding or coping with that...which is why I am continuing to take these pills which seems to have no affect right now......

I know it is a selfish act, but this coming from a person who has always put himslef second...life is not for everyone you know. I just am having trouble coping right now, the pain is real and won't leave.

Not Joshing you, honest, just needed an outlet, you can read a previous post under divorce to see where I am coming from, don't know why I haven't hit the wall yet so to speak, still awake

wanted to know took about 25 a half an hour ago......just wanted to get it right, sorry

Sleeping pills does it take

Well, thanks for your response, there really is no positive news to tell on this situation, she finally went to get her girls and she has kept them away from everyone since. Seems like all I can do is wait this out, trust in the girls to call me if anything goes wrong. All I can do is be here for our son. I have come to find out though that this man she is with was actually friends at one time with the girls biological dad, go figure. Seems to me like she ran to her past. Thank you for the support bella, it is greatly appreciated in times like these.