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shawn

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  1. Hopefully I can get some good advice on how to move on and heal. It's been 8 months since the breakup and I am left feeling resentment and bitter towards my ex. I know that this is not healthy for me but it's where I am at. I can't seem to shake it. I feel as though if I let go of this then somehow it's just ok for what she has done. She has put me through hell. I don't like what I am seeing in myself. I want to find indifference but can't. Help!
  2. The problem is that you are still holding out hope. Is there a reason to hold on to this? If she has made herself clear that it is over then NC is about you alone. Believe me, and others on this board, further contact hurts you more.
  3. I know, I am still banging my head against the wall.](*,) But she was sooo perfect!! But seriously, this has led a LOT of guys (in particular) to play "head games," or pretend to be someone that they're actually not. Or even worse, some nice guys simply resolve to never be a nice guy again. And, sadly, they follow through. I'll never buy that. I just think that you need to be genuinely who you are. But that your genuine self needs to be capable of wanting them but not needing them early in the relationship.
  4. Thursday, One other thing. It's very common to take things personally during a breakup. Obviously, I don't know her but I doubt her intentions were bad or "brutal" for not responding. I don't think it's you personally that she's avoiding. She's avoiding what all of this has become. She can't be your friend right NOW; she already knows your feelings. And she can't return them. Time and space away.
  5. Hey Thursday, The honor was all mine. I really think you just need to give things a LOT of time and space right now to cool down. And I don't think she really hates you. I know you want some kind of closure to this, but at this point things are too difficult and tense. I wouldn't even write the final goodbye. Take an extended vacation from her. Understand that you will just not have all the answers at this time from her. If you want, you could try to be friends or more much later. You will be fine either way. Take care.
  6. Thursday, The very best thing you can do for yourself is STOP the contact. Immediately. No more. She can't return your feelings and that is why she is not responding. With EVERY attempt at further contact you are hurting yourself more. Stop!! Give it a lot of time. And maybe try to be friends (or more) much later. Take advice from someone that has been there.
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