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Replaceme

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Everything posted by Replaceme

  1. Well I am here - didnt think i would make it last night. But its day 5.
  2. its day 4 NC/ moving on again. almost 3 weeks broken up now. I have already forgotten his kiss. Wait - he hardly ever kissed me anyway.
  3. Rach , I know how you feel. One phone call threw me 100 steps backwards. Take it day by day. It DOES get easier, i promise you. Go to Letters to the Ex and vent there. It has done wonders for me.
  4. Thanks Man , I am pretty angry again. This is good for me. It means i will be cool in a couple of days.
  5. Oh god JohnnyTable - if i had heard that from a friend , i prob would of thrown up right there on the table. Geez, the nerve of some people. I know its prob not his fault , but whatever. I really want to say ignore him too now. sorry - angry today
  6. This is exactly how my last relationship went, and I ended up on a rollercoaster ride in hell for 1.5 years. This situation like you describe would come up every two months, I'd tell her everything she ever wanted to hear, we'd get back together, things would fall apart again, the cycle would repeat, each time breaking me down to nothing, contantly wallowing in frustration, need, self esteem shot, forgot who I was, trying to conform to her critcism, making me slowly insane...you get the picture... Pretty much sums up the last year of our relationship. I feel like i am 100 steps backward now. But its day 2 NC/moving on. again. I am so angry - i feel like cursing him out. Really telling him off. He was a big man with NO GUTS. there i said it. and i hate him. there i said that too. sorry. thanks.
  7. i know , your right. But Why is he hurting me like this? I mean calling me and saying all these things.
  8. I DID disappear - i was gone - he even said last night , why wont you answer my calls. I only answered because it said private call. Which is usually my best girlfriend. I thought with all the calling he has done , when i was on the phone with him, maybe he missed me and was miserable. He did sound miserable. BUT he still was happy with his decision to quit the relationship. Why do you think he said "this is the hardest thing i have ever done in my life " I mean he kept repeating that. This was a hard thing to do. God , i am pathetic reliving a stupid conversation i had 12 hours ago. I havent left my house today. I am right back to square one. Oh - did i say i was a crying fool too. Yeah I am . Oh and i kept saying "you dont even care about me anymore." He kept right on with the "But I do care , i really , i havent cared so much about one person my whole life. We just love different" Blah... I really need to get over it. Geez - I was doin FINE.
  9. I woke up today feeling horrible. I feel like i am back to day one of 2 weeks ago when he first broke it off with me. I woke up feeling helpless, useless , and heartbroken. I must just get him out of my system. I am so angry at my self for talking to him. Listening to him proclaim his undying love But that he had to do what he had to do. He just kept saying how this is the hardest thing he has ever done in his life. But cant we still hang out? - he asks. He said please dont just cut me off from your life - i exist. I want to be there for you if you ever need anything. Boy am i a fool. Back to moving on Day 1 again.
  10. thank you , i am so down now - i just have nothing left to do but hope i fall asleep soon. Thanks Relationship coach.
  11. PLease RCoach - Please dont stop talking to me .Please tell me more. You are sooo right. RIGHT ON. I cant believe how low my head is now. I am back to - not feeling good enough. I even said Like a Fool , what is it that you want? Why wasnt i enough? Oh god, he just lays on the i feel horrible , your shoes are still in the corner , BUT i had to do it. You would of hated me in 5 years with us still together just dating.
  12. Yes - must go back to ignoring his calls and now blocked calls. i told him i missed him too , but it gets easier everyday. why did i have to answer the phone. why.
  13. So he broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We spoke once as the final goodbye about 3 days later. Then i started NC. This week he has called me like 7 times - i never answered. Then tonight he caller ID blocked and i answered. He says everyday he feels tremendous guilt. He says i feel like you think i just threw us away. I miss sleeping with you , i miss when we laugh , but i just had to do what i had to do. I said i really dont want to hear this - he just went on and on. Saying that everyday night he goes to sleep feeling sick and every morning he wakes up with a pit in his stomach. But he then says i was not ready for this kind of relationship , i know u want to be married and i just dont think i ever want to marry. (we were together 2 years - both in early thirties) . He then goes on and on about how his love for me goes beyond marriage , he says its so deep - then of course comes the BUT But he says i hope in time we can be friends and still vacation together even just see a movie or something. I am at this point just crying like a fool. We hang up - i am just a confused mess now. Someone please help me out. Why is he calling me and saying all this now.
  14. Russo - there is no plot - for goodness sakes !!!!! Is everyone crazy??? Take it slow - have fun - your doing great !!! Chin up!!
  15. Joyce - i think robowarrior is WAY WRONG here . I instantly got the "go girl attitude" in fact while reading your post i thought about printing it out for me to reread when i am feeling down. So thanks for the post - you helped someone today!
  16. thats it. he called , i answered . Its over. He no longer feels romantic love for me. Time to post in healing after a breakup. see you all in a few days. sometimes it just doesnt work out. Sometimes its just not meant to be.
  17. Thanks Ladyj. Its been a bad afternoon. I have had to turn off my cell phone and put it in another room - cause i was so scared i would call him. Until i read your line about seven days being a great job. Thank you.
  18. beginning of day 7 Nc/moving on Maybe he wasnt that special? Maybe i really am better off - now i can meet someone who adores me. Even though i am no longer a spring chicken. Maybe i should embrace singlehood.Maybe its okay?
  19. I am basically spending every minute of the day stopping myself from replying to the email he sent yesterday. BUt i wont reply. I am very proud of myself. I have dropped off the face of the earth. I wonder if he notices. Day 6 - NC/moving on.
  20. well he called twice today. i didnt answer. he emailed an apology letter also today. basically sorry for not being able to be my boyfriend. none of this makes me feel any better. Its day 5 - at least its been nothing but silence on my end. i hope i feel better tomorrow. oh he also wrote that he hopes i am not hurting too much. and that he will always love me. yeah - none of this makes me feel any better. no contact no contact no contact.
  21. its day 4 of nc/ moving on. he hasnt even called me. this is crippling.
  22. I just read in Its called a break up because its broken - you should have NO CONTACT for sixty days right after a break up. I am gonna take the advice. Not that he cares - i am sure - but i am gonna stick to it. So its day 3 of 60. Because he just dumped me 3 days ago - we have never had the convo regarding exchange of personnel items. But in the book it said , not to worry about this stuff - so thats what i am gonna do.
  23. its day 3 of break up/NC. I mean day 3 of moving on. He still hasnt called , since he broke up with me. What amazes me is that i havent called him in 3 days either. I mean , when did i get this strong. I was always a sucker for him. I am kinda proud of myself for being this strong.
  24. I am hoping that the more time passes - it'll be easier for me to detach myself. If my ex is dating other women , as i expect , i dont want him. I DO want this pain to go away though. Its gutrenching.
  25. 2. what is No Contact accomplishing? she seems like she could really care less about how I'm doing....wouldn't someone with a SOUL at least make some kind of effort to initiate contact with the person that they devastated? If u find out the answer to this let me know. I ask myself that everyday!
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