MJMJ

Hi Nottogreen, I appreciate yours and everyone else taking the time to help me. Yes--i have met his sister on more than one occasion--probably about 5 times i think. So--does that make it more likely that it was his sister and him not putting some other girl under her? Wouldn't it make more sense to put it under someone i had never met or maybe even the girl's name he has known since pre-teens or even a guy. But-Putting it under a guy's name definitely wouldn't have worked though because of the text message saying "he's a centerfold" lol. Anyway--suppose this person was not his sister and obviously she is coming to him with problems and they are sharing things. Wouldn't have this happened more often? Wouldn't he haven gotten other calls i probably would have been suspicious about? We spend about 3 nights together and most times i stay over. Obviously if a girl is sending a text about something going on with her and another guy--they had to have had some to get to that point and i don't understand where he would get the opportunity to develop that. He tells me he only speaks to two girls. Noone else from his past. You don't just randomly meet some guy and start going to them for advice.(atleast i don't) With that said--(tell me if you think i am just trying to convince myself of this. I feel i am just trying to rationalize things though) if it is another girl--wouldn't stuff like this be going on more often when i am around him rather than just this time where i suddenly got worried it wasn't his sister?

Finding out that he lied right to my face and is developing a bond with some other girl will really hurt me even if he isn't cheating. I do not text message guy friends with anything at 2AM. This is what makes me hope it was his sister. If you wanted to get away with speaking to another girl--would you really put it under your sis's name? It's not like he speaks to her once a year and she lives so far where they are not in touch.

Here is what she text him--"he is a centerfold". She did not call him up but he called her after seeing it i am sure b/c his phone only rang once meaning he received a text. We weren't sleeping at the time and no she doesn't live far away--they live very close to one another. My b/f said after speaking to her it turns out this guy was or is a model and she doesn't really like the idea. I'm really upset right now because i am worried he lied. I really just want to get that number and call it(not to speak but to hopefully see if she has v-mail)--otherwise i will not feel better. And since i only met his sister a few times and she is not like my best friend--it was hard to match the voice--i just wasn't sure. Isn't it kind of risky to put it under his sister's name? What if this person calls again and its a convo where i can figure out it is not her when he is speaking to her. It just seems like a stupid mistake to put it under his sister's name but i don't know..maybe he felt it was more safety because its a girl and i won't question if it says his sister but obviously i am. I can't believe i am upset over this and i donot want to give him any clues that i am because i want him to think everything is ok if i decide to try to get that number and make my mind rest with this matter. Please help.

My b/f and i were at his apartment last night. (Together for a year) We were in his bedroom and his phone rang indicating a text message. It was almost 2 am. He goes to the other room to get his phone and said it was his sister. He stays there for a minute or two and i guess he called her. He comes to the bedroom by the window to get better reception to speak. His apartment does not give good reception. The girl is talking about a guy and then he said " Did you tell your mom?" If it was his sister, why would he refer to their mom as her mom. It's not his step sister or anything. I said that to him when he was done talking. He said his sis was having a guy a problem(she is older than him--i think 35 or something)Then he said text is from her and who he spoke to was her. He asked "i never did that" and obviously my answer was no. He probably knew what i was thinking when he said look who it says its from--if a person is sneaky enough, they can easily just change the name to someone else. He said call the number then. I didn't call. Does it sound weird that he said your mom when it is his mom as well or am i being too suspicious and just overanalyzing. Was he just hoping or figured i wouldnt call or should i trust it was his sister. I am tempted to copy down the number and see if it is her. Would anyone else have noticed this when he said it? I couldn't help but say something to him and now having a hard time deciding to let it go or not. The thing is--if it was another girl and she is talking about a guy problem--that means they have developed some sort of closeness and he tells me he rarely even talks to other woman. Is it weird for a girl to text a guy at 2am about a guy problem that wasn't that serious--something somewhat funny? Meaning--it maybe it was more than likely his sister?

hi, no i don't think he has cheated. I have caught him in two lies but i do not think it was because he was cheating. I think it was just to avoid me getting angry or jealous or whatever the case may be. It was to avoid an argument. He did say it was delivered at 6:30AM but says he was sleeping. I'm sorry--i just thought it was weird how all week long it never worked. He would be in his hotel for hours and only receive it when he left the room and was about 5 minutes away. So i just couldn't help thinking what i thought. I guess i should give the benefit of the doubt.

Hi everyone, I know it was delivered at 6:30 am--its usually right and he did say yeah it was delivered at that time but he didnt view it then and said he was sleeping. It just really felt odd to me that ALL week, a message was never delivered at his hotel but somehow this one time it was. He was in his hotel for hours one day and he only received my text when he left it and was 5 minutes away or so. Noone else would be suspicious or the fact that i spoke to at 2am that night and usually three times a day while away would make u feel better? It really just felt odd...being paranoid?

OK everyone, i need your opinion on this situation: My b/f has gone away--fine--he has been calling making me secure and everything. This one thing happened that i got suspicious of and i'm not sure if this is something i really should question him on or let go. Here goes: My b/f does not get reception in his hotel room with the cell phone--He usually calls from his friends phone to say call the hotel room. At the bars when he is out--he always gets his calls and i see the text messages are sent and delivered right away. When i text him at his hotel--it doesn't show delivered this past week until he was outside and away from the hotel. Last night he went out and i did too. I call him at 2am and we were talking for about 20 minutes and after the convo ended he said talk to you later. I text message him at 4:30 am--the text was sent but not delivered so i figured he was in his room and he was sleeping because the times that i did text him and he was in his hotel or really close to his room, it was never delivered. I wake up in the morning and see the text was delivered at 6:30 am--that is making me think he was at someone else's hotel last night or doing something wrong and then went back to his hotel or something. Doesn't it sound a little suspicious? He always got the texts if he was at a bar because its an open type area--never any problems with reception except noisy people. Also, its not like at 6:30 am he is going to wake up and say i need some fresh air and walk 5 to minutes and then go back..in order to get reception on the phone, you need to walk about 5 minutes away from the hotel. i spoke to him today and he said they left the bar at 3am or so and he woke up at 9 am. But the few times i text messaged him this week and he was in the hotel--it was never delievered until after he left the hotel room and was out. Does this sound weird? I don't know if i should ask him--i thought you couldn't get any text messages or calls at the hotel--why did you get them at 6:30 am and never anytime before during the week(meaning he wasn't where he says he was or he had someone there and walked them out or something--you get my point)I guess it is possible he left his phone in a different area of the room and 2 hours later it was delivered and he was doing exactly what he said he was doing which was sleeping---Please write back on what you think of this and if i should ask him about it.

Hi everyone, After reading my first post about that girl calling my b/f and him saying he was gonna go after a minute or two of convo--isn't it suspicious that he mentioned me right away?..It was pretty much like hello, how are you..and then i just picked up my g/f...doesn't it sound like its saying--i can't talk like we usually talk because i have my g/f here...and then she asks where does she live(i wonder if she even knew about me to begin with ) because he mentioned my area--and then said he would call from the apartment because his car is loud--which it is but it doesnt really stop him too much from talking on the phone..is this a sign that he was cheating during this time period? I could never really figure it out..and i always wondered if i should come clean about me finding out--telling him i copied down the number and was right and telling him you lied and asking why..i'm not really sure if its a good idea..he lied, i snooped into his privacy--could lead to a break up and if he hasn't admitted to anything yet--why would he now..if it was because of cheating--he can easily just say--it was to avoid you being jealous and thats it. What do you think of this???

I think these lies have been to not make me jealous and to just avoid a confrontation. I mean--he told me about this girl from the beginng and it seems only after i gave him a hard time he changed the name. Still immature i think. But...sometimes the best way to hide things is to keep it out in the open. A real sneaky person can be honest about the girl they speak to for the other person to believe there is nothing to worry about and its inncent and meanwhile..there is something to worry about. Its weird how my mind works lol.

Hello, I think i have a habit of just noticing little things and asking others if these are red flags or not regarding whoever it is i am dating. So here goes: This may seem a little graphic--well not graphic but just related to sex and the messiness related to it. lol I go to my b/f's place and usually he is not there unless i am over(he stays with his mom and does things for her at her house etc) But he was there like 2 or three times that week because he is busy working on a few things non-stop. The place does not look neat or anything like that. We are in the bedroom and the bed isn't made and it wasn't made from the last time i was there so thats fine. There are towels on the floor from the previous time i was there. We lay on the bed and eventually we do sleep with one another..I see stains (and you know from what) but i really don't remember it being from us. I mean-it was kind of in the area we slept in just then and i said where did that come from and he said i dunno, its not from me--i'm over here and it must be from u. So- there was a stain to the right of me and then i also saw a stain to the left of him which i don't how how it got there if he is the one laying flat on his back and i couldn't really tell if it was new or old. He also brought new sheets that night from his mom's house so he can change them. (they havent been changed in awhile so thats fine)Its kind of disgusting to think of a guy cheating on his girl and then doesn't take the effort to get rid of the sheets before i come over and sleep in the same ones. Am i being paranoid thinking those stains are from him and someone else? The bed wasn't made, his pj bottoms were still in the bed from the previous week when i was there. Also-this may be a bit disgusting for some but i just want to say everything about the situation--there was an obvious blood stain which i know for sure is from me--so that is what also makes me think it would disgusting of a girl to sleep in that bed with the sheets dirty like that and obvious signs that i was there too. I feel like if i a guy really was cheating--he would change the sheets right away(to get rid of evidence) atleast before i even get to his apartment and not change it after we slept in it so there would no signs of someone else such as the scent from her, hair, or anything. I sat down on the bed too and the bed wasn't made so wouldnt i have noticed the stains before i layed down next to him and before we eventually did more together? It wasn't like a little stain or anything that i would have to closely look at the sheets to see. So basically there were stains and i'm unsure if they were just from that moment or if from someone else and if i am completely being paranoid and just looking a little too hard for something that isn't there. Please write back.

Hi--I have been with my b/f for a year now but i have a hard time trusting. There have never been any clear signs that he cheated or has someone on the side. He is reliable, doesn't cancel randomly, introduced me to his family, and took me on vacation. I know that he loves me. But--Here are some of things that has happened in the past year: I did develop a habit of snooping in his cell and checking who he was talking to etc. He works for the telephone company and so he uses his cell sometimes for work--but when i see missed calls with no name(but not the same number occurring over and over) i got suspicious of that--thinking he was talking to other girls or meeting new ones. He told me in the beginning of our relationship--he did ignore some phone calls when with me because they were girls--i guess he didn't want me to get jealous--but i did the same as well because it was only a few months of dating and others guys still thought i was available. I think he eventually knew of my jealousy. He told me from the beginning--he speaks to two girls..One he has known since his pre-teens and never went out with. And another--a girl he went out with--he said it ended mutually and he said it was because they couldn't see each other a lot and because of her family. He said since it didn't end badly they talk once in awhile. I told him i didn't like it and think its weird for him to talk to a girl he saw only once in awhile while dating--obviously she couldn't be that important--why does he need to still speak to her. He said he doesn't ever see her and has no reason to see her but they just keep in touch by phone. He knew of my jealousy of it and one time we were in the car--the phone rings and i just knew it was a girl. He said to the person he was with his g/f and talked for a minute and then he said he was gonna go. I asked who it was and he said--"i said i was with my g/f, what are you worried about" he told me it was his friend mike..i didn't believe him at all. I looked at his cell and it did say mike..i let it go. On new years eve--he gets a text from "mike". we spent the weekend together and i saw a dialed call to mike..i copied down the number and it was her--the girl he went out with.. I was devasted at that time--thinking he was cheating. I did not know what to do. I made up a story and told it to him and said my friend just found out her b/f changed the name of a girl to a guy and i said don't you think this is cheating? and he said no--maybe the guy doesn't want his chops busted everytime his phone rings. We went through a rough time because i couldn't tell him i looked and copied the number down. I said would you ever do that? he said NO...the next time i looked at his cell--he altered it back to her name. I think he knew he got caught and we didnt speak about it but he altered it back. This was a rough time for me because i was trying to figure out if he was cheating or just didn't want me getting jealous and having arguments over her. I know in the beginning her name was there but then i guess maybe after giving him a hard time about it--he changed it to "mike" I sometimes give him a hard time about going to clubs with out met etc. I was looking at pics in his phone with him there and i see a pic of a girl..and i said when was this..he said it was sent to him and it was so and so's ex and she was cheating. It looked like the girl and she was next to a guy so i believe that. BUT--i didn't believe it was sent to him. I think he went out that night and didn't tell me and took that pic. Long story short--i was able to get him to admit it and he said yeah i did go out that night and i didn't want to be given a hard time..i just wanted to go. So he lied RIGHT to my face..He said it wasn't a malicious lie and he wasn't trying to hurt me and he wasn't trying to hook up with anyone(which i kind of believe because why would he be with a girl that night and take a pic of another girl standing with a guy) He says you really should know by now that i want to be with you and just you. We got into a huge argument and basically i said you need to be honest with me and he said fine and you need to stop looking through my cell. That has been our argreement and i havent looked through his cell. But do you think my actions of jealousy have caused him to lie? I know there is no excuse for lying but do you think he has done these things because he was doing something wrong(cheating) or just to avoid arguments?? I have been trying to improve and he still continues to say--you need to trust me more no matter where i go or what i do.

I am in a relationship with someone for a year. I am a careful type of person and don't just trust someone 100%. He hasn't given me any real reasons to believe he is cheating or having someone on the side. I believe he loves me but i am still careful with everyone. One night we were lying together on the couch and the lower collar of his white t-shirt i see a straight line thats about half an inch. To me, it looked like lipstick that wasn't mine. (It wasn't brigt red or anything so its hard to describe the collar. I use pink lip gloss. I mentioned you have a mark on your shirt and without really looking he said its probably lipstick.(Meaning--from me b/c i tend to get that stuff on him) And i said well it wasn't from me-mine is pink and he said well it has to be from you and it came out of the laundry today. I do not see him til 7:30 at night because that is when i get out of work. The stain did not look old--like it set in and it appeared a little darker than mine and when i felt it i could kind of smear it then. He then said so then what are you asking me in a calm way. At that point, I dropped it thinking--ok its me being insecure. I second guessed myself because i felt like if it was a lipstick stain from a girl--wouldnt it appear more like her lips rather than a little straight line or more smudgy like a blot. It seems weird to me that if he was making out with someone or something--that it would appear so straigh and thin and smeared accross it or in other little areas. It was just this one mark. This happened a couple of month ago so i can not bring this up now. I am just trying to make sense of things. Its hard for me to believe someone who introduced me to his family and who took me on vacation would cheat. Would you consider things like that more of a cliche now a days unless it happened a few times or something? Is it a dead give away or would you look for my signs like him not wanting to see me which hasn't happened--going out more often with out me--which hasn't happened either. The way i rationalized it was--it would have appeared more messy if from a girl kissing his neck or whatever it may be and probably smeared meaning more than one spot. I let it go hoping its a misunderstanding or maybe it was something else. What do you think?