MJMJ
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so basically everyone just thinks i shouldn't have been counting them in the first place? And who cares if one or whatever number is missing b/c i should just trust him?
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What was this sentence? "What he said about replacing condoms and what have you does not take a genius to figure out"
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Is it weird he knew the number right away?
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I just wanted to write what happened tonght: i just spoke to my b/f on the phone--and tried to bring up a convo related to it--i said maybe we should be using more of those(meaning the condoms) and he said ok, it's not a big deal. I said--you look like you are running out and he said not really--there should be 7 or 8 there..I then said you count them? And he said no he saw when he was pulling one out when we used one, and then he asked back--do you count them?--and i said why would you ask me that--and he said well you asked me that--he said i have heard of girls doing that to check on their b/f's--and i said for what--to find out if they are cheating? and he said yeah i guess--although its stupid b/c if he wants to get away with it, the guy can spend the few bucks to buy another package. I said, gese, you sure do know a lot about getting away with cheating--he said you know what, if i really wanted to i probably could. He said usually sooner or later things are found out though. I then mentioned--didn't want to say it was the other night b/c i'm supposed to be more trusting of him--that a few months ago or i dont really know when i thought i saw a few missing..my b/f just said are you kidding me? He said well then why didn't you mention it since you mention everything else that bothers you--i just said i don't know i just didn't and i said what would you even tell me--and he said i guess nothing and you know why? b/c there is nothing to tell. Some have said if it makes me feel more secure maybe i should keep a track of it BUT i think even looking at the condoms from now is not gonna help--either he realized it from the convo--or my b/f isn't stupid--he knew about this in general and maybe is careful or just didn't do anything.
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Its a problem b/c he is my first serious relationship so i dont know if i would be like this with someone else.
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I did not break up with him..
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You think i am wrong for counting them? and if someone else was in my shoes--they would just say no he didn't bascially b/c we almost broke up last week over trust issues with me? I really thought i counted 9 and now b/c of this, i don't seem to be thinking clearly about it.--probably b/c i dont wanna believe my b/f would do such a thing to me.
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I really feel its best not to question him on this. Still i would like more responses about this whole thing.
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Now b/c of recent events and feeling really anxious--i am unsure if i counted one for the old set and 9 total for the other which makes 10...or 9 including both...tonight i counted 8 including the one of the other set--maybe i miscounted last week?
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Why would he do that meaning--why not just break up seeing as though we have our arguments and obviously he was tired of me questioning him. I neve heard him sound like that before and he never said i cant do this anymore--thats what made me thing--ok maybe i am wrong.
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No-his brother is married...noone would be coming in there to take condoms. The fact that we almost broke up last week makes me think--why would he do that? He never spoke like that before--i'm sorry i can't do this anymore--(b/c i was almost accussing him again or questioning him) I'm trying to contol being anxious but i dont know what to do.
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I am a suspicious type of person.(i'm sure those who read my last thread know.) My boyfriend has his own apartment but usually stays at his mother's house--just wanted to give u that info. Here is the deal: Last week--i look at the condom drawer and we havent used any in awhile--we have two sets..there were only one left of one--and i thought i counted 9 of the other and was pretty sure--i think i looked at it a few times. Tonight, after we slept together--we did use one...afterwards--i look at the drawer to see and then i count 8 including the one we used--now i am second guessing myself thinking did i count wrong last week or did he cheat on me--of course i dont want to believe its 8 and maybe thats why i am second guessing myself b/c i really dont want to believe my b/f would do this especially since we almost broke up do to my trust issues with him(at point, he basically said i'm sorry i can't do this anymore--he was tired of being accused--we worked it out though)..i dont think its too hard to miscount condoms..the place wasn't exactly tidy unless he brought over a girl who just didnt give a if the place was clean or that he had 3 cards from me displayed and my earrings on the table. What do i do? Overlook this b/c now i am second guessing myself?
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I agree with you--i actually do believe his family comes first and i come second--he tells me its not true but sometimes other things have to be done-such as his mother's patio or helping his brother with his business if he needs it to be done and i should be more understanding.
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Do you think he is a bad b/f or does not care for me b/c he is very family oriented?
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Maybe she does not have the money for it, i don't really know...and if my b/f is able to do it and not physcially incapable-why wouldn't he? which is how i think he thinks--especially since he has been doing it for years--he probably sees it as his job..so i guess it will be up to me to say--in 2 weeks on sunday--lets spend some afternoon time together etc. What do you think?
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Hello, sorry--wasnt clear--he has his own apartment which he does not work in--then there is his mother's house where he grew up in--she lives about 15 minutes away--and thats where he does the work.
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I wouldnt say the plot changed--i questioned if i should believe what happened last night--but then for some say--he is not doing his part b/c i said we go to his apartment is not fact...yes--there are weeks where we do just hang out at the apartment, have a few drinks, watch tv, movies etc..and then there are times when we get tired of that and do go out...it is kind of expensive to go out every single time we see each other--and museums arent open when i get out of work..thats not all we do but i have friends who are in the same spot---with their b.f for a long time and they do not go out every single night..they spend the weeknights doing nothing but then on the weekend or saturday do something more..i dont really see whats wrong with that My original question was just believing about last night and his actions.
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Ok--its not the beginning stages of dating where we would go out every single time we see each other--after year--what is wrong with a regular night together? We went to dinner and for drinks a few nights ago, and anytime i wanna go to a bar or something--he agrees--thats what i meant by anything i usually want to do--he will do within reason. And he was just was trying to find a way i guess to get his stuff done and have me there since i was not happy with the situation. What relationship after a year is gonna be filled with such excitement every single time. I'm not trying to defend all his actions. But in what way do you not think he is doing his part? I never agreed to taking the trains for a year until he said he is burnt out--was i wrong for that and not doing my part as well?
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No responses?
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Well in the car while he is driving, he holds my hand..never pushes me away suddenly if i am being affectionate, is affectionate with me...when we do see each other--anything that i really wanna do unless its something he really cant do that night, maybe money is tight etc..he will agree too. And if i do say--i need you this sunday in 2 weeks for this event, or this is something i really really wanna go to, i think he would agree. For almost a year--he drove to pick me 2-3 nights a week after doing his job..almost an hour to get to me--and hour to go back to his place..and then he used to drive me home at about 3 or 4 am b/c i wasn't able to stay over at that point in time..now i am which makes things easier and he said he is burnt out from all the driving so i agreed to sometimes take the train to make it easier and he would pick me up from the train station. He tells me that on sundays--if i do wanna see him and he needs to stuff in the back yard, then i should come and keep him company or sun bathe and read..basically we would not be spending one on one time but we would be near one another.
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maybe i will join the gym-even though i work out at home..i get distracted by him easily--and he is very care free and doesnt let anything bother him So i was wrong for that phone and going inside thing?--he got mad at me and said this is what i am talking about--you asking me the same question over and over
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didnt mean to bold it and didnt see people responding to that question til now
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Here is the thing though--b.c he is not used to spending that amount of time with a girl--do you really think me pulling back is going to do anything? i have a feeling he would be fine with it--he would do his thing sunday without hearing me saying we should spend some time together. Or what--take a day away from when we see each other--what will this ultimately do? He is not the type of guy who is gonna say--no lets spend more time together--i think he enjoy his independence and will be able to do more things for his mother, house etc. Of course he would notice it and might say something--maybe i do need to act more non chalant if this stuff like the patio comes up but the thing is--i dont think it will change anything b/c this is what he is used to--if your family needs something, they need something--he isnt gonna say to himself..how come she didnt complain? Maybe he might a little but he will just think ok--she is over the arguing of lets spend more time together and thats about it...he has never offered to spend a sunday together until i argued about it..i guess he thought the time together was enough. But my question about him staying in his car while we talked, him getting disconnected and then calling me back a minute later..shouldnt be bothered worrying about it??
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OK--and what do you mean by that--dont see him every weekend? then we are spending less time together and i dont think thats a great thing--we dont see each other every night--we should be missing each other already..and i do try the not calling a lot or not returning calls fast..he does say something but he doesnt over react..and if i said on a thursday--i have this and this to do, cant see you..he wouldnt make a big deal out of it..i once asked him why he seems indifferent..and he says its not indifference, he just doesnt assume i am going anywhere--like ok, we'll see each other the next day or the next day..he doesnt think i am just gonna disappear so he is fine with that kind of space like if i have something to do. We go 4 days without seeing each other..how much more space can i give? Maybe its partially b/c we dont live exactly close and its a lot of driving--although recently we compromised where i would take the train sometimes to make it a little easier--thats probably a way to see him more--b/c it is a lot of driving to do days in a row. Been together for over a year by the way. Maybe in that way he is more independent b/c i think this is what he is used to..and it may not be a horrible thing, just hard to break. I am more of a needy person with that--i like to spend a lot of time with a b/f. Was i wrong about thinking that when he wouldnt go inside b/c we were on the phone?
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Ok--is this weird? lol sorry, i like input he called me on his way home from his brother's shop--when he was approaching his house(his mother's house too) he said ok--time to go, i will talk to you tomorrow--and i said you dont wanna talk to me longer especially b/c u wont be seeing me tomorrow--just trying to joke around a little you know...and he says its 1:30 in the morning lady--in a nice way.... We continue talking and i ask him if he is inside--he says no--he is in his car still--he doesnt wanna walk in talking on the phone b/c he thinks his sister is sleeping on the couch--and i said well couldnt you put me on hold while you go to your room--and he says no b/c he doesnt have ac in his room so he will be sleeping in another room that has a couch. And i kind of pushed it saying--why wont you just go in--and he said jesus, what are you arguing about, do you want me to get out, i will get out..and i just said i am not arguing, forget it, i go on saying i dont feel too well(allergies) and we suddenly get disconnected--he calls me back like a minute or later and just continue with the convo--i didnt think to ask what happened...and he said he still wasnt inside the front door yet..and we pretty much ended the convo nicely.... Now--should i be paranoid into thinking he was meeting someone else at 2 am?