Ross_K

I'm originally from Manchester but now I'm living in Broadclough.

I don't think they have any of that cool stuff around here. Britains a lot of a different kinda place, basically pretty drab and boring. But I'm gonna look into this anyway, I think there's a gym round here so I've been thinking of joining.

It definatley sounds like he's attracted to you. Okay, time to ask him out.

Yeah, on the rare occasion depending on the situation I do. And yes, I'd say a smile with the wink is better. Is this guy your fitness instructor?

I think it could mean he's interested. I've done it a coupla times without thinking with girls I like.

Hmmm, well I have had 3 random girls approach me to talk, they also seemed happy and smiley too. No playing with hair or leaning in closer though, so hmmm, I wonder if it means they was interested? Also, I have been asked what's wrong on quite a few occasions by people, so I guess I probably do look sulky/unhappy a lot of the time, which could be having implications on girls approaching me.

I know what you mean, I've felt like this about women and it is something that's hard to figure out. It's like you suddenly feel vunerable and insecure or something.

Lol, I'm certainly not.

I know, but I'll be able to project myself a lot easier with a woman that I've met for a date, instead of having to go up to some random stranger. I guess going up to strangers will still help with meeting women for a date, but maybe just keeping on meeting women for dates (unless I meet one and something develops) will help it's self.

So what do you actually do when you hit on someone shy? Oh and do you only hit on shy people who seem approachable? Maybe my problem is that I come accross as really unapproachable.

I go on the net, play videogames, watch satalitte, listen to music, and I work out. I wouldn't mind developing some interests out of the house, like maybe go the gym, um, dunno, there doesn't seem to be that many outside activities round here. The learning to dance idea sounds quite good, I will look into it more, I'm sure there must be some place round here or near here.

Comfortable and at your own pace is where you have been all your life and you wouldn't be asking advice about it if you like it! It hasn't because it's only recently where I've actually been procative in making a change. (My life and other aspects, not approaching girls) The assignment is for you to go out and just talk to women and you will fail miserably at first so you really don't need to prepare anything to hear the initial "no" because that is exactly what they will say. The plus side is that you may even hear yes sooner than you think. I'm not too sure if there's any point though, once I've sorted stuff out. I can just meet women off the net.

Surely I should have experienced it at least once though? Or is it that uncommon? Good idea pal, I'll edit the topic.

I can't jump straight into the deep end. I need to take things at my own pace which I'm comfortable with.

So you actually went up to him and shown interest first? How common is this?

It's not like that DN, if you read my edited first post you'll understand why I'm asking.

You're right, but I am trying to make a change in my life. I'm slowly working towards it now.

I thought you said you was a geek McGuyver (sorry about always spelling your name wrong) And Budman, are you an alpha male? Btw, I've edited my first post.

1. Guys, have you ever been flirted with/hit on and are you an alpha male? my answer is no and no. 2. So, all you alpha females, do you only hit on alpha males? 3. And non alpha females, ever hit on non alpha males? The reason why I'm asking these questions is because I want to know if it's only or mainly only alpha males that get hit on. Then obviously the fact that I've never been hit on/flirted with doesn't have to mean I'm sexually undesirable to the opposite sex. Oh, and we're talking about offline here. Thanks.

Hmmm, it's really hard to tell, I think I fitted in with and talked too anything from 10% to 40%, I think. With a lot of those people though, I think I did have a lower social status.

I need to work on some other things first (you know, what I told you in PM), but yes, 'getting out there' more and making some moves and everything is what I'm trying to work towards. DN, things are getting a little too personal for this topic so I'll answer your post in PM.

1 Only Alpha males get hit on by the girls, you need to be more of an Alpha male. Don't expect women to come to you until you have something they want. Really? I hope so, that'd actually explain a lot of things. I think I'll make a topic on this. 2 Gut?? it's your worst enemy. It won't turn out good until you decide to set yourself up to actually talk to a girl, get rejected, learn then keep trying. You will not make out on every attempt, nobody does. We learn to shrug it off when it happens. Absolutley not, everyone should listen to their gut, most of the time it's going to be right over logic. Ever heard the expression 'Do what you feel'? 'Follow your heart'? 'Go with what feels right'? Those feelings are there for a reason, and it's your brain telling you something which you're not logically aware of. 3 Guess what, you need to learn how to be bold and walk up to women 1st. Pick girls you aren't really interested in so you won't care about the outcome and keep practicing while working your way up to what you really want in a woman after the confidence building you got from the others. When I've got some things sorted out in my life first, I'll try.

No, I wasn't bullied at school. I wasn't accepted by most of the popular guys but I wasn't at the lowest level with the geeks either.

'"I'd be so scared of them being hit on and me not getting hit on though, that'd be soul crushing." Ross, buddy... i gotta hand it to you, you are the absolute master at finding the one possible tragic outcome in every known scenario. But that's what always seems to happen whenever I have the sinking gut feeling about it. I think if I did manage to find a load of guys that were more ugly than me (how would I know though?) and we all went to a club, the obvious outcome would be that none of us would get hit on. just for once, though, sit back and allow yourself to think of what it will be like when you DO triumph over your negative mind script. don't rush to reply too quickly, i want you to back away from the computer for a few minutes first and really imagine how victory will feel. Here's what I imagine it'd be like... just always giving myself false hope and always being soul crushingly disappointed. This is what used to happen A LOT when I was younger. But, I dunno, maybe I still didn't feel things positively in my gut and that's what I need to do, instead of just thinking of things in a logical way and thinking 'because of XY & Z, then logically it should happen' and holding onto that thought yet still having that gut feeling of just knowing it wont turn out good or how you want it too. As for victory as in getting a women, it'd be amazing, I'd feel like a near enough dead plant being given water and bursting back to life, it'd be so good for my well being, I'd feel so happy. Inside right now I just feel shriveled up and dead. If just once a woman would desire me, if just once I could actually have a woman and put my arms round her. And yes of course I really need the sex too.