diesel21

thanks again i read the posts over and over again i feel more " inperspective" now thank you all

i know i dont haveto love them but this feeling crawls on me when every im with anyone on any sort of social function this grain of thought that wanst to scream out -- and confess that im only here because i made myself id rather be in my room painting away or being the big day dreamer i am. and when people go down that " i really like you/ i had a niec time" bit i just want to cry out of guilt. i dont think im being fair to them, should i admit that? and as to the person i did love, should he know that he was the last person i ever loved even though i only spent a few days with him. or should i leave him be?

1st of all thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my post. i have a question that i hope someone can offer reflection or an answer towards. i really loved someone for two years but when i felt rejected by him a bit over an year ago i felt like i could never love again. i dont quite feel like trying. in teh past few montsh i picked myself up a bit but now i find myself being very shallow in relationships which leads me to feel guilty and break them off even before i give the other person an fair chance. i just cant bring it to tell them that i will never love them and i am only holding relationships to try to push myself onwards in my life. this is even more difficult considering that i am in college and my friend doesnt understand why i " gave up" at such a young age. i just think something in me wants to just be selfish and "unreal" now. i feel like i gave away an emotion so entirely - love - that i cant bring myself to feel it again. im at my wits end on what road to take with this. shoudl i tell him what i feel now? i dont want to bother him even though he still says we are friends and all, i feel like a nusiance to him! hes really awfully nice but i do want to move on and be happy again with others, does anyone have any advice? thank you.

ok just make it casual your young so dont be too serious you should ( if shes your age ) ask her after work/ ie : when your both checking out if she wants something to eat / because your hungry. that way you can see if she likes hanging outside of work with you before u start serious dating ! ciao!

um yeah no porno.. ...i say play it sweet because she is kindof testing u on a limb by having the other guy around. u want to show her your NOT jealous/ sick OR desperate. your a cool confident guy who will show her a fun relaxing evening without any pressure. i suggest letting her make the moves and being encouranging if anything ....

wow take it easy dude! first off she seems a bit indecisive. i think u should tell her how insecure her phrasing the ending of teh marriage makes you feel. also make sure you reinforce what YOU want (ie: marriage) and how you would do anything to keep it. She need to know your commited and steady that way maybe she will be too towards your marriage. good luck.

i agree, i mean i say i love my friend (another girl) but it's like , "thats why i love ya (b/c u know my fav coffee drink!". I mean saying you love someone REALLY depends on the context. however i agree with the "secret " advice, you should confide in her as a friend and if nothing else she will respect you and feel special that you have shared that little " secret" with her.

ps: also was i wrong to let him "lean and heal" on me when she rejected him? im thinking so, because when my ex cheated on me and i wanted advice on if i should contront him/not his friendly advice was to " forget it and, why dont u move on?"

oh dear you are all so helpful! i really do wish i had asked for advice sooner because now its at a point where i dont think he very much likes talking to me. Hes hell bent on thinking im crazy and overtly emotional - i mean i did do everything for him. what kind of young woman is THAT desperate? i think i am But i told him Id do it all over and maybe thats why he thinks im so "wrong" because no body has done so much for him? well im honestly beginning to give up listning to him because it just lends to me feeling down and doubting my sanity i feel so baffled by it all, what more could a man want???

your rhyme was charming. its not so odd sometimes i worry i have the same problem. except im a girl! i know people are like " girls have no problems, they acn always get someone toa pproach them" and my friends believe that for me but i dunno.

i have a close friend of 2 years that i spent thousands of dollars and time on to visit but he was interested in another girl so i gave up. but now he doesnt even want to talk to me or be friends because the other girl he liked wont have him, also if i bring it (their relationship - him and the other girl) up he says i am obsessed with their relationship ( not true!). i told him i dont feel he showed me the compassion i feel that i deserve when i was upset, adding that i sincerly believe that he would have done that for her. but ofcourse that led to him saying im obsessed, again! arg! i dont know what to do , should i just give up trying to ammend our relationship? i feel totally unappreciated and forgotten, and inferior to her in HIS eyes, yuk! but im also not willing to hang around if here is no way to make him change what he is thinking. anyone have any recomendations?