no_bad_news

I appreciate all the advice.... I wish I went no contact right when it happened....now I am at the four month mark doing it.... How long after the break up did you ex return.... was it sooner than where I am at.... A part of me is so exhausted from caring about this.... I read some where that that being in love feeling lasts only 12 to 18 months after that your brain stops producing that "feeling" and both people have to work at the relationship... I really want to know more about people reconciling after months of being apart.... I know that it really has to come from the other person... I will definetly go NC all the way....fully knowing that it will probably lead me forward and away from caring about my ex.. I think letting go is the saddest part.... I loved him. !!! Also are we destined to repeat the patterns of old relationships?!! I feel like there is no one out there that I could get involved with.... I wonder if you could use profiling techniques to entice an ex lover back!! I am kidding.... the fact is that I am going to move on... and NC is the way to beat these feelings... if he calls ..great... until then I am on a new path.... thanks all!! Keep posting if you have any thoughts etc...

I am close to your age...and mine was also a LDR...thanks for your insight... I was wondering if you were the one always making contact..and then if you just stopped...after the 3/4 week NC....I think I am in a bad situation because we met and he seemed over me.....he said that he couldn't give me what I needed.....I just wonder if I do nothing for as long as I can.....maybe by then he'll wonder....or maybe he is really OVER me..... It is hard because I was his first love..and letting it all go seems impossible.... even after 3 1/2 months... But if I was something he didn't care to have...then I guess I am better off.....I feel like I stepped into someone elses life....things were much better before...I would take all the hassles back then to have to deal with the loss....!

how long were you broken up..how did you reconcile?

I appreciate the advice...and you are right....what is with those of us who pine away for "their" return? I think we just lost our independence..we gave it up..next time I am in a relationship I will continue to do the things I do....BUT why do we want something that doesn't want us....what is the psychological reasoning behind that? Maybe it is hard to feel like I was disposable..but this guy said all the right things "you are the only love I have ever known"...was said to me 2 weeks before the break up...we are adults here too....love makes people crazy!

So basically after reading this entire thread...we should forge the ex.... And in a year..after they break up with someone else...they may return...it seems there is no difference for men and woman....it is all the same....MOVE on...they don't want us....there is always a chance if they are living...but don't hold your breath..... I think the hardest thing is to think about getting involved with somone else....I feel like that won't ever happen..because I will always HOPE! The reality of being dumped...is that you should never be dumped again...never give up control..and don't fully believe what your partner says..and never be fully available...even when married!! That is the sad truth that I have learned....never give up on your independence.......keep it always....love yourself first..and your partner second....

I don't think he would meet anyone that fast..if so it won't be serious...if I were you I would keep talking to him..but I wouldn't tell him you love him....I would say "I know"...when he says "I love you" to you..men like the chase....you need to make him feel like he could lose you..I think that was my mistake....letting him take me for granted......men want a girl that reinforces the fear that they'll lose her.....

I have been split from my ex for close to 4 months. (Since Nov) I have initiated all contact. We were together for 2 years..... We talked once around Christmas, and once around new years. On New Years he said that sometimes he doesn't think he made the right choice. Which made me think there was hope.... I wanted to find out if there was any hope left for our relationship...and he met me, reluctantly, one month after he said, "I am not sure if I made the right choice". At the meeting he then said that he was fine with his decision, and he was fine just running in to me when ever. I emailed him twice since then with no response... He then called some friends of mine, people he barely knows, and talked with them just to say hello..after hearing that... I called him...and told him I missed him..that was 2 weeks ago.......no response... *1. Has the no contact rule actually worked...... *2 and have ex's retuned to anyone on this site.... *3. Do guys ever return after they decide to break up with someone? *4. Does the NC rule really just work for those of us that have been dumped..so we focus on the rule and not on taking action..... *5. Are guys to PRIDEFUL to return..or would love bring them back after they are left alone?