Jump to content

no_bad_news

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    72

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by no_bad_news

  1. no_bad_news
    Thanks! Sometimes ppl say get over it, but I think that's unfair. I don't think about calling him, or emailing him. IN all honesty I don't like who he is right now. I just miss the person I loved. Or the person that loved and respected me. I know that person is gone. But this new person that he has become isn't what I want in a mate. I think I feel this way because I put alot into the relationship and bascially got rejected. That hurts!
  2. no_bad_news
    I guess I don't know how to let go of it. I still see him and am involved in the same activities. You can't just stop obsessing. which is what I think I am doing. It's like I was still interested in fixing something and now its never going to be. I guess I don't believe I will be able to have the same feeling for someone else... yet... so that is why I can't let go of it. Or maybe I don't want to have feeling for anyone else yet. I am not sure what purpose that serves though. I guess I am trying to protect myself, but honestly you can't just turn it off. I talked to a counselor and that helped. I got some tools I can use to stop putting him on a pedastool. And I know I will move on.. slowly...
  3. no_bad_news
    can a guy love his gf but sleep with someone else. if girls need emotional connections to stay in a relationship. what keeps a guy interested?
  4. no_bad_news
    go but don't stay long. you can go where you want, but don't expect her to be all excited to see you
  5. no_bad_news
    I think my Ex is showing off his new gf to torture me! I read the post below and sometimes he bothers me. Most of the time it hurts when I see him with his new gf. It is annoying. I am still single. I am over him, but not over what I wanted from him. If that makes sense. I am going through the last of the holidays as we broke up around t-giving in 05. I am allowing msyself to grieve. I don't care if ppl think I am crazy to not be over it after one year. Love isn't respectful of time. I am over it. But I can still miss it. And I can be hurt by it. I think moving on is hard. I think I don't know how to really. So I "do" the old relationship. I let him affect me because I am somehow still doing the "old" relationship with him. I have seen him. I say hello, and I walk by. It is the worst to be strangers to someone that you loved. But is worse to be in a relationship that sucks. I have been on a few dates. But I am not ready to fully let go of the past. there is a huge weight on me. I can feel it. but it will slowly lift becasue it has to.
  6. no_bad_news
    I have had a type of sleep paralysis. Incubus is another name for demon that tries to "sleep" with women while they sleep. But the sleep paralysis is a real thing. Most time it happens to people when they sleep on their backs. Are you feeling paralyzed? If so, when it happen , try and move your toes. Your big toes... Pretty much this phenomenon sucks...I endured this on and off for a few years... I had one night where the sleep paralysis effected me and I woke up mid dream, could not move and heard this "spirit" talking to me... and ..I felt pinned down... it was evil.... but I probably like I said woke up mid dream... anyway I feel for you.. this thing is evil
  7. no_bad_news
    It was a good post. It definetly reinforces the idea that scarcity get people interested. BUT I was wondering: I have seen my ex and played it fairly neutral. Not talking about anything specific about his life. He has another GF. Does being nice take that feeling of desire away? OR does it show that I am capable of living without him, and being more successful. Which is what I have done. When I am around him it is very hard. I love him still (after 10 months of being apart, and after sleeping with someone else.) The ex doesn't know about that. Not that it matters because I am single and he has found someone new... Anyway, is there any hope if it has been that long, and the ex is dating someone. And I am the dumpee, but I look great and appear strong?
  8. no_bad_news
    I think i am having a hard time with the amount of time I have already had without him. It has been since thankgiving, and I am not over these feelings. I haven't contacted him since March which is when I found out he was dating. But i have seen him recently. I feel desperate, and alone. I am under a little bit of stress right now and that might be why I a thinking about my ex. I just miss his familty and I miss him. I have used NC and worked on myself, on being independent. His friends notice the changes. I appear on the outside to have moved on... but I don't want to move on. I really just would be fine to wait until he broke off his current relationship.
  9. no_bad_news
    I don't know anymore. I am tired. I just don't want to go through this anymore. It is my heart talking. Am I supposed to do nothing...because if he wanted me he would come to ME?
  10. no_bad_news
    I think I am going to break NC. I can't stand this anymore. I love him. He has a girlfriend. That is true. But I care about him. No one measures up to him. I have tried to move on. The more time this takes, and the more I can't let go, even though there is limited contact...it makes me think we will get back together. I think I might send him a short email, and tell him that I still think of him. I am thinking about sending him an email today. After 5 months of NC. ](*,)
  11. no_bad_news
    THANKS..you are right...but that's what makes it so special as well...that that person was unique. It is true though..you can't make anyone love you. I understand that..I deserve more. I feel sick about using the crutch... really sick. It did help short term.. but the entire "night" I missed my ex. It was the first time I knew that sex isn't love. I really understood it.
  12. no_bad_news
    I have been thinking about my friend with benefit thing, and I feel disgusting about it. The guy has a girlfriend. He told me things weren't working out so well, and I felt alone and depressed back then.... this new situation that is brewing makes me feel sick. I thought the fwb thing was ok, but after a few months of hindsight I think it sucks. It might be a bandaid, but right now I feel sick about that choice. I feel prone to fall into the trap of making poor choices. I get involved with men who don't give me what I need. I think its them. They are the pigs, they used me. But I am putting that out there. I feel screwed up. I am making bad choices because somehow I can't connect with someone that will actually get to know me.... I have gone to therapy....I understand more about myself..... I wish there was a resident therapist in this forum! Now I don't want to connect with anyone because I am afraid once I do my ex will want me, and I don't want to miss the chance. How messed up is that! I am so angry at myself. I really am. I feel like a sl**ut * * * *, and someone that people just want to use.
  13. no_bad_news
    Hello- I am in the twilight zone... Sometimes I can't believe this is my life. I miss my ex an incredible amount. He has a girlfriend, he's been with her for about 4.5 months. I had a friends with benefits thing for a little while with someone we both knew...overall, it sucked.. Now I think another one of his friends is hitting on me.....and I don't want any part of it.. I just want to win my ex back.... I haven't contacted him since he started dating this new girl....so for 4.5 months.... I have seen him, and we have been cordial..... I can handle it when he is alone.... I just wish that he would miss me....and remember what we had... the bad times were because I felt like he didn't really love me, and I am sad because I think I pushed him away.... How do I win him back... just by staying strong and not calling him, by acting indifferent when I see him? I love him still. He has never contacted me on his own..except for 1 email in december. I realize that he has moved on.....and I should too, but I feel like he is the one I want to be with...I feel like hes the only one that ever got me.... The NC thing is fine. Sometimes I feel great without him, and today I feel terrible. NC has given me my life back,...I am more confident and more focused on my life which is good.... I am ok with being single because I feel right now I could never love anyone else..... I don't even know what I am asking for here... I just wish he'd want me again.....
  14. no_bad_news
    I thought I was doing better. this is going to be vague, but I saw my ex last week, and his friends. I hung out a bit and we chatted, but didn't talk about anything in particular. I wanted so badly to ask him about his life, and to tell him about mine. But I kept it real simple. I appeared strong. It was nice to see him , and then he said good bye and left.....that was the hardest... I also found out that he and his girlfriend are taking a month long holiday. I feel sad again. I feel like I miss him. I hate this. I feel like a rubber band. I get snapped back into this pattern of missing the past. I am convinced there won't be anyone better than him. He was pretty great, except for the way he treated me... and I know that... Has anyone bought the WIN the EX back on line books>! I wonder if my strength showed him I am moving on, even though inside i wanted to confess everything....
  15. no_bad_news
    To all of the NCers out there. KEEP it GOING. I ran into my ex this week and it was fine. I felt in control and not sick from WITHDRAWL... That is what I faced for 8 months. A withdrawl.... That link on "Let them Go" is a must hear. For a week I was using that mantra. let him go! or her... I also just read all the old emails I sent begging for some resolution. I barely was given it. If this helps: I have learned through this painful experience that it was better to have the months of hell that I faced alone, then to face a life sentence with someone that can never give me what I wanted. No matter how much you love someone, if they leave you. Let them GO! You can't believe how much that phrase will work for you. Feel all of your pain. Allow yourself to feel it, and cry. Who cares if people tell you to get over it. You will at your own speed. And if those people are that insensitive, well then they have never really loved. Right now I am completely single. I was in a store the other day and this elderly man said, "Why are you so happy?", and I instantly said because I am young and single! For the first time in months I am happy. NC gives you control over yourself, and over your healing. Keep pressing on those of you that are in the early days... you can make it. I am still in the process of moving on because I loved this person so much. But I realize that I can always love him, and let him go at the same time.
  16. no_bad_news
    Thanks for the advice, stolenshadow. The sentence about not being replaceable stood out because that is how I feel. I feel that you proved a good point. I am valuable. What he has now is different, but the part that hurts is that he does similar things with her. Anyway, I did talk to my friends about not telling me anthing about him. It is just too painful for me. I am different when it comes to getting involved. I felt jealous that I am not letting go, and he already has a new gf. I know what it is like to be ALONE beause of this anway thanks.
  17. no_bad_news
    I think it is hard when your friends want you to move on. And you can't. I don't talk about it alot. It seems they bring it up to me. What he's doing. What his new gf is like. It was hard for me because he said he wanted to work it out, and suddenly he didn't. I think it is hard now because I am constantly being told how he's doing. And I compare that to myself. He seems happy. And content without me. And I am pretty unhappy. I feel like I know I was unhappy with him in towards the end of the relationship, but I can't believe I am replaceable. I also don't make connections as easily as other people, and that bothers me.
  18. no_bad_news
    I wondered why other people that have ended relationships are able to move on and I am not. It seems as though I have been confronted with the fact that I am seriously not able yet. Alot of people I know already have other boyfriends, girlfriends, and it seems more like they have someone to have sex with. I am wondering if you move on fast or slow, and what that means to people in here.
  19. no_bad_news
    I think writing a letter might be sending the wrong message ie. that I am weak and waiting for his return. I guess appearing strong and unphased is the way to go? But the thing I didn't share is that we have a high liklihood of seeing each other every weekend. (we are on the same sports team) Seeing him with his new girlfriend bothers me quite a bit. A part of me felt like telling him that. I felt like the advice I received from a few of you was harsh. "Get over it. 3 months is an accpetable amount of time to start dating. " Seriously, if it were that easy do you think I would be on this website? I feel that after ending a long term relationship and then jumping into another relationship 2-3 months after is a rebound in my book. You aren't going to find someone that fast that you truly LOVE. If he were casually dating I might feel differently. But he is already serious. And YA it hurts still! Computer guy- thanks for the advice. It made me rethink my reasons for sending the letter.
  20. no_bad_news
    Beyond the sea- good simple advice. I am looking for advice that is has more depth to it. I believe I will write him a letter, but not send it for awhile. I am already hurting as it is. My point is, it can't hurt more than it does.
  21. no_bad_news
    I have been in NC now for close to 4 months. and been broken up with for 8. The ex started dating the new person 3.5 months after he broke up with me. (after 18 months with me) I have dated, rebounded myself, and tried to focus on myself. None of this works. Only for short periods of time. I just want him back. I'd take all the problems back. (well, some of them.) He seems happy without me. I miss him. I hate hearing about him.](*,) My point is: I have been in NC for a great amount of time. I still google him. But no emails, texts, phone calls. I have been fairly active. I have tried to stay busy. What if I wrote him a letter, and told him how I feel, and that I still love him..at least he'd know.
  22. no_bad_news
    sometimes being blunt helps... I would say that it does bother me alot that he would walk up to me with his new gf in tow and say hello....I think I could handle seeing him without her... right now I would honestly say that I am not over this....and I don't think I will ever be over it....maybe I will be able to move on with it....BAGGAGE! I don't know what I want... I didn't break my NC which was extremely hard.... But all the advice makes complete sense...I have to live and let it go... But I don't think letting go means I have to ever be over him, or "cordia"l to him. Right now I am neutral....not overly nice and not overly rude.. I do sort of wave and barely make eye contact.... I have been keeping busy...and that helps.... Nursing school will keep me busy....and helping people feel better...
  23. no_bad_news
    Why shouldn't I tell him I still love him, and seeing him with the new gf is too hard. He tried to say hello with her around..and I ignore him.... Is ignoring him going to make him wonder.... Is being aloof going to let him know I am still in love with him.... If he sees me with another guy will that do the trick? Seriously, will doing those things make him interested, or will he think I am over it.... How do I do this... How can I get him to want me back.... Is that possible, or is it just something that will never happen?
  24. no_bad_news
    I want my exboyfriend back. I don't care about the crap I went through, I just want him back. I have been NC for 2.5 months He has a new girlfriend..... I can't get over this... I really can't.... I feel I am on the verge of calling him.
  25. no_bad_news
×
×
  • Create New...