candykisses

lol that is exactly the problem i've been trying to describe in my thread...just didnt know how to put it, i guess you've put it for both of us!!

Wow..crazy...i have the exact same problem you have sweetheart230

that's pretty good. people like your friend Rob are just numb to it all cuz they do it so much that they're no longer afraid of rejection. it's like an immunity..

can you tell me a bit about what you did about the situation how you did it all wrong? (if you don't mind me asking)

yeah, too much drama

thanks everyone for the replies! If matt is discouraging Curtis from pursuing a relationship with me...and Curtis doesn't know about Matt coming on to me, should i say something to Curtis so he knows? the worst that can happen is Matt denies it to save their friendship or save face and i end up looking like the psycho b**ch. the other thing is, i don't really have much ground at this stage to tattletale to Curtis about matt, because it's not like we're dating...if you know what i mean. but if i keep quiet and don't say anything, he is just going to keep on trusting matt and thinking i'm not interested no matter what i say or do to show i AM interested too many complications i guess i will just use your advice and step back first and distance myself from the situation

What do guys do when they like the same girl and they're friends?? i'm friends with two guys who are friends with each other. i like one of them, Curtis. he's cute, funny, nice, smart, and sweet. hes always flirting with me and he recently confessed to his friend, Matt, that he's really attracted to me, who later told me. fast forward a couple of days...Matt is throwing hints at me that he is falling for me too and tells me all the time how beautiful and pretty i am. Also it looks like he's told Curtis i'm not interested or i'm not looking for a relationship or something of that nature to keep us from getting together. so confused and i don't know what to do at all...should i stop hanging out with them both? i don't want to be the girl who comes between two friends...but i really like Curtis. if you're a guy...have you been in a situation like this? if you're a girl...what do you do in a position like this? Any advice for me would be appreciated, thanks!

i agree with what everyone is saying, especially the part about how you can sense when someone is jealous because there will be a "tension" that you cant really describe... like this one time a guy friend of mine told me he could SENSE this other guy was jealous when he saw us together...but i couldnt see it whatsoever. maybe jealousy is easier to sense with the same gender!

yup me too, i can definitely sense jealousy from another girl...i think there are definitely signs like giving you fake smiles, not talking to you, trying to divert attention onto herself etc. the biggest one is when she stares you down.... with the opposite sex however i am more clueless, so i tend to rely more on a gut feeling...for example today i introduced to a guy friend another guy i happened to be hanging out with, and I sort of sensed my guy friend was jealous but couldnt really say why... it's not like he displayed any visible signs or anything. I don't know how accurate this "feeling" is though

do you ever get a "feeling" that a person is jealous....without him/her actually displaying outward signs? kinda like a "gut" feeling.... the downside to that is you don't know if you're right or wrong haha

Sometimes I think I'm able to sense that a person is jealous....but I can't quite get my finger on how I am able to sense that. Do you think jealousy is something that can be sensed? Or are there actually concrete body language/verbal signs that give it away? can YOU sense jealousy?

next time you meet a girl you're interested in try to ask her out in the first month of knowing her, that will avoid you being put into the friendzone good luck

i like him, but more as a friend. everything i do with him has been out of friendliness...i can't believe his friend asked me if i was just 'leading him on'... can't a girl be friendly without always making the guy think she likes him?? (hypothetical question btw)

definition from the internet: a wingman is a companion who accompanies his or her friend on social excursions to court the opposite sex. in the words of a guy friend: if a guy likes you but not in 'that way' but you do like him 'that way' then he tries his best to hook you up with one of his buddies who will like you 'that way' and who you will like so you won't get hurt...thus he ends up looking like a good guy rather than a bad guy and he still gets to keep you as a friend (since guys all know that girls have a hotline in which we share details on guys and if they treat one like dirt then they will not date until they are discharged from the army 8 years later...)

^haha its ok so is he trying to get a wingman for me? oh umm, a little bit more info...he knows i liked one of his other friends at one point in time, but he knows i dont like that friend anymore

possibly he is into me, but then why would he want to hook me up with one of his buddies? ^he never told me he likes someone else lol

Is this acquaintance of mine interested in me? -flirts with me all the time -compliments me CONSTANTLY -ALWAYS notices me right away in a crowd or when i enter a room before i notice him (but then again i found people tend to notice me before i notice them so this one may not mean much lol) -goes out of his way to talk to me when he sees me -teases me -laughs at everything i say and do even though its not that funny and no one else is laughing -offered to buy me food -plays around with my things -his friend asked me what i think of ___ (the guy's name)...then i said we're just friends and that he's not interested in me that way, then his friend said what if he IS interested in me that way and even asked me if i'm just leading ___ on THINGS HE DOES THAT MAKE ME THINK HE DOESNT LIKE ME: -wants to hook me up with one of his friends (wingman principle?) -didn't add me on msn when he had the chance to (a friend asked him if he wanted my msn, he danced around the subject, didn't end up adding me) MAJOR MIXED SIGNALS right? but let me know if you need more details, thanks in advance for anyone trying to help

.....like MONEY?

^ i agree im not gonna bother investing more energy on this guy no more...if hes interested he can call me he has my #. im so moving on from this guy...and so far so good =) i currently got 3 other guys wanting to hook up with me..and met a hot guy yesterday who told his friend he thinks im cute even though i did like this guy a lot, theres lots of other guys out there im crushed, but life goes on

maybe im thinking too much but isn't talking about hooking up with another girl in front of the girl you're interested in a DON'T? one of my guy friends said he's trying to make me jealous but i highly doubt it. we're all mature college people...and plus i think the jealousy game is something that girls do, not guys, but i could be wrong

So heart broken... This guy I like and who has been looking at me and flirting with me for the past month asked for my # today. So i thought he's definitely interested because he's finally making a move. Later on today I hung out for a bit with him and his friends...and i was crushed big time. Here's what happened during hanging out..before I started flirting with him, it was all fine. But immediately when I started being flirtacious, it was as if he felt he didn't wanna lead me on so he had to do something to let me know he's not interested in me. Cuz a while later, he started talking about other girls and telling his friend to hook him up with this chick, IN FRONT OF ME. So I take it that he's just not interested and doesn't wanna lead me on. I told my friends about what happened but they said it doesn't mean he's not interested. But I know they're just trying to make me feel better. I don't need false hope. I just need someone to tell me that I can move on. Just tell me he's not interested so I don't have to waste anymore energy on this guy. Just some honest opinion cuz i'm obviously not getting that from my friends.

the 'perfect guy' exists only in your head don't get so hung up on this guy. you've never met him. he eats and farts just like everyone else. there's no such thing as the perfect guy also there's never any logical reason as to why someone is or isn't attracted to someone else. don't take it personally if he doesn't respond to you with interest...don't waste your time trying to figure out why. just move on

wow. i want to feel that for myself too.

^haha you said what all my guy friends said too... my guy friends told me i need to be more available and talk to him more and drop some obvious hints and eventually he will ask me out. My girl friends on the other hand still believe in the one month rule. But i guess i need to have a little more faith and just put myself out there more and stop acting so damn shy. oh another question, do guys normally tell their friends if they are interested in a girl? because EVERYTIME i walk by him and his friends, he always magically knows that i walked by..even when his back is turned!...he would magically turn around and wave and smile if i am walking alone or with a girl. If i am with a guy then he only stares. It looks like his friends point me out to him or something but i'm not sure...or maybe his FRIENDS are the ones interested in me lol. thats not good.

so it's been a month since that guy and i met and there's been a lot of eye contact, smiling, and flirting...but he hasn't asked me out!!! Not even asked me for my #, screenname, either. My friends and I have this theory that if a guy doesn't make a move in a month then we just assume he's not interested. Should I give it up and carry on? oh please don't tell me to just ask him the hell out because thats one thing i DON'T do lol, so don't even bother trying to get me to do that...cause I won't. I need advice i will actually use, thanks =)