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You have to be extremely disciplined to do any kind of work at home. It is to easy to go watch TV or do that load of laundry when you really need to be working. Also, don't think it's easy. And if you are disciplined enough to do this know of work, you will probably spend more than the traditional 40 hours per week working. Why? Because it is in your home so you can't "leave it at the office". It will always be calling to you. You won't be able to relax and watch TV because there is always "one more thing" you can do. Also, if you are in college or just out of college I would not recommend it at all. You really need to be in an environment with more experienced people so you can learn and grow in your field. Anyway, just some advice from personal experience.

I know I have that relationship on the side BUT I have done a lot of thinking lately and I would be very happy without a guy. I do not need a guy to define me or make me happy. I am very involved in a sport and in clubs and I have many girlfriends. I would stay busy even if I wasn't married AND I would have a lot less stress because I wouldn't have to worry about what is going to happen the next time my husband gets mad at me. Like I said before, I think the relationship on the side is just giving me more confidence. However, Country Garden is really correct in one aspect. I should drop the relationship so I am not biased by that in making my decision about whether or not to leave my husband. However, the leaving part has really been decided for quite a while now, I just never had the means to do it before.

I amke eyecontact as a way of showing I am confident and not afraid.

I have had serious thoughts about leaving my husband way before the other relationship started. I have been secretly saving money for a while now too so I won't be completely broke. I am getting closer and closer to walking out too. Now when my husband has his outbursts and it's "my fault", instead of standing there and taking it and trying to calm him down like I use to do, I leave the room before it gets worse. One of these days I am just going to walk out the door and not come back. The relationship on the side is not why I want to leave but I think it makes it a little easier. I have wanted to leave way before that started but am just now getting the confidence to do so. I know "the other guy" may never leave his wife and I think I would be fine with that. I hate to admit this but I know his wife and I like her a lot and would hate to see her get hurt. Also, as some of you have said, why would I want to get out of one relationship and jump immediately into another one. I agree that it's not a good idea. Also, as some of you talked about, I have thought about what things would be like if I were to leave my husband and didn't have that relationship and you know what, I think I would be very happy. I am very active in a local club here that has meetings once a month. WHen I go to the meetings, I feel very guilty because my husband refuses to go with me and he gets mad that i go. I go anyway but am nervous the whole time and never stay late to talk because I know my husband is going to be mad at me when I get home for going in the first place. I have a lot of friends too and they are always wanting me to do this and that but I don't much because my husband will get mad. If I leave him, I can go shopping or to a movie with my girlfriends whenever I want to and not feel guilty about it. I love it when he goes out of town because I do take advantage of it and hang out iwth my girlfriends and not worry about having to be home at a certain time. Anyway, I think I am going to do it and leave. I am going to save a little more money, get things secured and then do it. My parents have never liked him and fully support me in this too. Thanks for all of your comments and advice.

I have been married for quite a while. I am a very affectionate person and my husband is not. Also, in the past year he has been verbally and a teeny tiny bit physically abusive. The physical part only consisted of him throwing a spatula at me and pushing me once. He says that it's my fault because I know I am making him mad. All of this stuff of us not getting along happened about three years ago. Also, he is still very selfish. For example, the other night I was napping on the couch and he starts playing with the dogs in a very loud voice. When he's napping, I tiptoe and try to be as quiet as possible. This is just one of example of many times he is very rude and disrespectful of me. Things are better between my husband and me and he is being really nice most of the time but I am never comfortable anymore. It's like I am waiting for the other shoe to fall all the time. Also, I am just not in love with my husband anymore. He has even said that he and I are more like roommates than husband and wife. He has even talked about leaving before but he hasn't done it yet. To be completely honest, I am just tired of being married. I am ready to leave. Here's the really bad part. There is a guy who I have been friends with for many years. However, lately he and I have become very very close. We have pretty much fallen in love. We do tell each other we love each other and I crave him. He is very affectionate which I absolutely love. I have never met anyone like him and he and I click so well. It's like we were meant for each other and we wish we would have met several years ago. However, since we are both married, other than hugging and the occasional peck on the cheek, there is nothing physical going on. But, he and I do feel like we need to hide things. Anyway, he knows my situation and that I have wanted to get out of my marriage for a while now. He is feeling the same about his marriage. He and I are not going to run out and live together or get married or anything like if we do divorce our respective spouses but we will probably date. Also, he and I have both agreed that neither of us wants to ever get married again. Anyway, my question is what should I do? Should I try to work it out with my husband when I really don't want to? Am I wanting to end my marriage now since I sort of have a security blanket other relationship? I just don't know.

It doesn't bother me at all of my husband goes to a strip club. If he went every night it might but just an occastional outing is no big deal. It's just something fun he likes to do with the guys. Not a big deal at all. I have even been to a strip club with him and his brother before and to be completely honest, it isnt' a big deal. Those girls in there don't care a flip about anyone unless they are handing them money and even when they are getting money, then they just take the cash, smile and keep dancing and nothing else. btw, if the strip club does get your SO going, take advantage of the benefits when they get home.

I am in my mid30s have been married to the same man for 11 years. We were highschool sweethearts. However, for the past six or seven months, he has made comments like he would rather live as a hermit than to live in society. Or he says he wants to move to a very small town in a far away place and just exist somehow. We have a little debt. I asked him if he were to leave does he realize that I would be stuck with the debt with no help and without hesitation, he said yes and that he doesn't care. However, he hasn't left yet and he is being extremely nice to me right now. The way I feel is I almost want him to just go ahead and leave so I don't have to worry anymore about when or if it is really going to happen. I know there is no infidelity going on, I think he just doesn't want to be married anymore and doesn't want to hang out with his friends. We have explored the possibility of him being very depressed but he refuses to go see a doctor or counselor about it. What should I do? Should I tell him to just leave? Should I leave? I just don't know.