antigravity

After reading a lot of posts on this forum, and also from my own personal experiences (my partner of 5 years left me because she didn't love me anymore), I get the feeling that women have an unrealistic view of long term relationship love, and that is why so many men I know get hurt. Now I know that men hurt women just as much, but it's usually because of some primal sexual need to not restrict themselves to one woman. Woman usually end relationships with men because they believe there is a "better" love out there. I think this is where women are getting it all wrong. My opinion on this is that long term love is different from short term love. Long term love is when you don't have those exciting, butterfly in the stomach feelings, but still care about your partner and want to share your life with them. A loving relationship is all about sharing your life with someone, and sharing the experiences that come your way. You don't need to get butterflys everytime you kiss or hug... Long term love is based on trust, love, honesty and knowing who the other person is, and still wanting to share your life and time with them. Knowing that you'll both be there for each other regardless of what they do or what they say. That's what love is. I actually get quite angry about it (only because i've been hurt by my ex), but I get the feeling a lot of young women expect a long term relationship to be all romantic and exciting all the time. When it's not, and things get a little tedious and hum drum (paying bills, sharing financial reponsibilities etc..) they think they're missing out on something. Well you'll get with someone else, it'll be exciting for a year or two, and then it'll end up being "average" again. I know I may be generalising to a great extent here, but i've read and heard of similar situations too many times to think it's just a coincedence. I think males are willing to be content with love and what it evolves into during a long term relationship. Women seem to always want that exciting feeling you get at the start of a relationship, and go from long term relationship to long term relationship in hope of finding an everlasting exciting lustful love. It just sounds too Hollywood, immature and unrealistic in my opinion. What do other people think?

This has also recently happened to me, my partner of 5 years decided she didn't love me anymore. We had been living together for a year. I didn't do anything to hurt her, infact I was completely loyal and honest with her, but she just fell out of love with me. My opinion on this is that long term love is different from short term love. Long term love is when you don't have those exciting, butterfly in the stomach feelings, but still care about your partner and want to share your life with them. A loving relationship is all about sharing your life with someone, and sharing the experiences that come your way. You don't need to get butterflys everytime you kiss or hug... Long term love is based on trust, love, honesty and knowing who the other person is, and still wanting to share your life and time with them. Knowing that you'll both be there for each other regardless of what they do or what they say. That's what love is. I actually get quite angry about it (only because i've been hurt by my ex), but I get the feeling a lot of young women expect a long term relationship to be all romantic and exciting all the time. When it's not, and things get a little tedious and hum drum (paying bills etc..) they think they're missing out on something. Well you'll get with someone else, it'll be exciting for a year or two, and then it'll end up being "average" again.

Thanks Billy, and thanks everyone... I know it's stupid to think the way I do. But I think like that and I hate it. I need to build up my self confidence no doubt.. Friends tell me i'm being an idiot when I say i'll never get with anyone else.. When I go out, I honestly feel like the ugliest person wherever I go. I think, if I'm the ugliest person here, who would be interested in me? I don't have many friends, because I'm the kind of person who invests all there time and energy into 1 or 2 people. When one of those people decides they don't want to know you anymore, it really hurts. And then you don't have a HUGE support network behind you when it does happen. Losing my hair is definitely the reason why I feel so ugly.. When I had all my hair, I remember feeling MUCH more confident.. Much more. I felt like a different person. Now I just feel like a shadow of who I used to be. I don't want to get with a super model, my ex wasn't a super model whatsoever, but I loved her.. But I can't make myself settle for someone who I find unattractive. That's what I was talking about. Like I said, I need to build up my self confidence.. but how do you do it?? It's not like you can just start telling yourself that you really like who you are.. I feel ok about myself sometimes, until I catch a glimpse of myself in a reflection or something. How do you feel good about the way you look?

Hi everyone, My partner of 5 years ended our relationship about 2-3 weeks ago with her reasoning being that she "doesn't love me as a boyfriend anymore". I'm only 22, but I'm going bald, and I don't exactly have the best facial features (big forehead, largish nose, pale skin). I've shaved my hair, and this just makes my ugliness more noticeable. When I had hair, my only charm was that I was cute.. Now that I'm going bald, I've lost the only thing going for me. My ex was the only female that ever had any interest in me, and I loved her with all my heart. I believe that she realised over a period of time that she didn't enjoy kissing/having sex with me because of my appearance. And that she realised she could get better. Now how the hell do I meet new people? Females are not interested in me whatsoever. Girls walk past me and don't even look at me, and whenever I do talk with girls, I get the feeling they would rather be doing something else. Plus i'm shy aswell which makes it even worse. Agghh.. I think I have some good qualities, I'm loyal, honest, down to earth, but I honestly believe that I will NEVER find anyone again. I'm going to be one of those weirdo single older men. Apart from my ex, no girls have ever acted interested in me. Ever. I buy nice clothes, I have a good sense of style, I take care of my appearance as best as I can. I'm not overweight. But no girls take any interest in me and I know it's because I'm ugly. I can't settle for someone that I'm not attracted to, or don't share common interests with. Me having certain standards makes it even more difficult for me to meet someone else. What is there for me to look forward to? I could be perfectly happy as a single guy if I knew I was single by choice. Being single because noone is interested in me, is awful. What do you do when your ugly? What can you possible do?