lilkat21

there is nothing wrong with you...you are just trying to find your sexual idenitity. There is nothing you can do about it. I dont know how old you are so I am at liberty to say your probably in high school. But I dont know. Just let things happen...you cant force yourself to be one way or the other. It just has to happen and yes its hard. As for the intamacy part the same thing goes you are not comfortable enough with yourself to let yourself go. Everyone gets horny at one time or another but dont feel like you have to *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* someone to get off. And dont also think that if all you do is masturbate you will always dread a sexual relationship. Find yourself first before you put a lable to it.

If I could have all the answers and wisdom in the world I think that I would still not understand why my girlfried does certian things. I feel that maybe I am over reacting but hell if u thought u were being cheated on how would you feel. Well I am here to ask for some advise and to hear your comments. I have been with my girlfriend for about 15 months and we were totally in love and things were good until I moved in with her. Ever since then we have fought about dumb stuff and we are both really negitive and now I think she maybe looking for someone else behind my back. I found out she has posted a profile on link removed while I was visiting my family for a long weekend. Well at first it was harmless and she posted it to meet up with people that she went to school with and she did find some people. But after about 2 or 3 weeks it changed from people she knew to people she did not know hitting on her. They would talk and it would all start with people saying she was cute or hot. I really did not care until this one girl. Well my girlfriend asked her all the normal questions and then she finished up with "are you single?" I got mad about it but wanted to see how it would go. Well the normal responce; " Yes i am single what about you?' My girl friend responded that she was in a realationship for the moment but things were bad because we fought all the time. They did not talk after that until the other night and my girlfriend told her that she could not do it anymore because she was attracted to this girl and she felt it was wrong because she was with me and she felt since we were fighting she was talking to this girl for the wrong reasons. She then told the girl that she was "fly as hell, very beautiful and pretty." She does not know that I know about the emails. But i got really upset that she would even put herself in a situation were she might do something like this. I do have to give it to her for tell this girl that she was wrong but I got mad that she complimented the girl. She said stuff to her that she has not said to me in a long time. IT really hurt my feelings. SOOO...am I over reacting for getting mad about this?? I know i should be concerned since she cant tell me abou this website she has a profile on but how concerned should I be? Is this a HUGE hint that she wants out of our relationship??? She tells me she loves me everytime we get off the phone but does she really mean it??? Please help me with this one!!!

Thanks both of you for your imput. Maybe some day soon we will have all of our stuff worked out and we will get back to normal. Thanks

Well i can honestly say that yes it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I met my current g/f online and I used to live in Colorado and she lived in Georgia. It only took 4 months for her to come and visit me. Yes I was so nervous and she was too..we got into a fight a few day b4 she came and it was only because she was so stressed out about coming to see me. But we are both glad she did. It was amazing she was more than I could ever dream of. We were both nervous but it didnt take long for us to warm up to one another. Now being with her for over a year and moving in with her about 6 months ago I would not change much. It is hard to wait for that person you are with. But trust me in the long run you are happier. Plus you fall in love with that person on a deeper level and that deeper level most people dont get to because they may not be able to get past the physical part of the relationship. Good Luck

I guess that I am new to this whole posting thing but i wanted to get the advice of whole bunch of random people that I or my g/f do not know. People are more honest that way. My g/f and I have been together for a little over a year now. We met online and clicked right from the beginning. We spent the first 8 months talking on the phone, online and emails. About four months into the relationship she came out to visit me and we fell in love all over again. It was amazing. I have never felt so alive with passion and she made me feel like I was on cloud nine and vise versa. Well things were great until my parents found out I was a lesbian and...well thats a long story in its self. Anyways, I moved out to be with my g/f and be happy and things were fine the first few months. We were happy and in love and it could not have been any better. Well after about 2 months of living with her we started to fight about everything, the sex stopped, and she has having a hard time touching me, kissing me and really just didnt want much of anything. She said it was her fault and it was her problem. She was having a hard time dealing with gaining more weight and she didnt feel or have a good image of herself. I tell her i love her and i dont want to be with anyone but her. It does not seem to help. She also really did not know what the problem was. She thought maybe i was too butch for her or she wasnt gay or other things like that. Well since then everything has fallen apart. We no longer have sex we dont kiss we dont touch she does not tell me she loves me. But she gets angry when we talk about it. I know she is frustrated with it because she told me she can give me everything i want but when i ask for a kiss or a hug she just cant do it. She says its her problem and she has to figure it out. I know that her life is stressful but i have needs too. I am always nice but yes I will admit i do have a hateful attitude when I dont feel loved. Also her family lives with us and some stuff has happened with them and she told me that her life wont begin until her parents are gone. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????? She also wants us to put "me and her' on the back burner until all the family stuff gets worked out. I REALLY DONT GET IT!!! I just want some advise. What does she really mean? What does she really want? Am I being a bad g/f when i get frustrated and angry? Should I quit being nice to her or just feel bad? Should I stick it out cuz i do love her very much or should I throw in the towel? Help!!!

It sounds like to me your between a rock and a hard place. As a person who has been there and done that I know how hard a LDR can be. You seem to find other people that resemble your partner and your loneliness can get the best of you. If you dont want to hurt your g/f just talk to her about it and be honest with this D girl. The best way to handle it is to be honest with both sides. Trust me your g/f will appreciate it more if you are open. Does she ever plan to move to NY??