Lil Eddie

I know it's easier said than done but no one said it was going to be easy. I have realized that it's okay to feel sad and hurt if you don't then I would question if you had love for then. I have a suggestion, if NC is too hard for you try just letting him call you and if you feel like picking up then go for it but do not call him. That's what im doing right now. I'm not calling her if she wants she can call me. Since we're scared to let go and I know what you mean by being scared of losing them that we are willing to remain friends. Well take baby steps. I want to cut it cold turkey but im just taking it one day at a time.

Hello, I can relate to your situation. My ex and I were awesome friends before we started dating. It's ironic because in the begging I only wanted to be friends and nothing more and now it's the other way around. How did it flip on me? If you get a chance read my postings. link removed In regards to your situation it's very difficult to be friends with an ex. Im trying to make it happen but its eating me up inside. I want to get back together but she is caught up in her life right now. It also hurts me when she lies to me about her friend. Maybe it's just a friend but they call each other so late or maybe im just in denial. If they were something or wanted more she wouldn't let me spend the night. Sorry back to you. Be careful b/c it can be very painful especial if you find things out. Also it's okay to let him go if he is a true friend he will understand that you feel so much more for him than just a friend and that you need time heal and get over him. I'm terrified of letting go and im causing more pain to myself. If you want to be his friend only and you think you can handle it then go for it but you have to start thinking of you now. He doesn't feel the same way and you cannot change that as much as we would like to we cannot. Whatever decision you make will be okay even if you decide to stay a friend. Good Luck...

Well I broke my promise and I checked her things. I though I was going to be okay and handle it but I guess not. I don't know why I was also in denial that he was no longer in the picture. I'm not all that sad but just upset and angry. B/C I asked her yesterday if they talk everyday and she said no. I don't want to be a safety net for her. She had 5 messages and 4 out of those 5 were from him. The messages sounded innocent I also took a look at her call history and in reality I think we talk more on the phone than they have. I'm not going to let it bother me. Like I wrote on my previous post I just want to let go and not worry about it any longer. Yes I do love the women and I know that this is one of the reasons she broke up with me because you have someone else to distract you. I just want to let it go honestly. im not going to call any longer if she calls well great and if I don't feel like picking up im not. I'm not going to wait for her call or go out of my way to get her call. I'm not doing it to be mean but I have to look out for me now. I want her back but im just going to ride the wave and hot worry about it. I feel better now that I wrote my anger and frustration.

Thanks for all the advice friends. Today I woke up sad but knowing I was going to be okay. I had a very interesting weekend. Well primarily yesterday. I woke up early and went to her house. I laid next to her holding her. Which was nice. Then she got up and was like I have to make a phone call. I thought to myself not this s**t again. After we went to breakfast it was okay. Later we ended up going to the fair. On our way there we had a serious conversation. She asked how I was doing I answered honestly and told her how I felt. I asked well what are you going through right now is it that you don't love me? Do you think that there is someone better for you? I can understand a little of her situation she is going to be 27 with a daughter and really not direction in life. She doesn't want to be 30 with nothing accomplished. I can understand that. I asked if she ever wanted to get married she said she did not know. What about finding someone else. She answered I don't want anyone right now. I asked how do you feel about me do you want me as a friend or more. I could tell the in her voice that she does not know how she feels. She almost began to cry. She loves me and still wants me in her live I already know that. We have fun together no doubt. After our conversation we had a good time at the fair. I dropped her off at her house later that night. In conclusion I love her and she already knows that. I will not bring that up again to her. I am tiered of worrying about her and whether she is going to come back or not. It hurts and makes me sad but I don't want to worry any longer. Whatever happens, happens I just hope everything doesn't blow up in her face. Im not going to sit and feel sorry for myself. I wish that I could make this feeling go away but I cannot I love the girl. No one said it was going to be easy but its best that this happened how than in the future. I went to the fair and I realized that there are a lot of girls out there but im not ready for any of that right now I need time to heal and be happy with myself before I can make anyone else happy. If she calls me I will be there for her but I will not go out of my way any longer I will still keep the plans that we have made. I guess I just want it to it to be over and not worry about her, if she comes back then it was meant to be.

Thanks Fivek. I always like reading other peoples opinions and advise it really helps. The one thing killing me is that I still give myself hope and like you said I need to realize that it's over. Thanks for all the support readers and those who also express their stories and emotions in this website. Well Yesterday I called her in the morning like I have been doing. We talked for a little bit and then she had to go because her daughter was going to get some breakfast. I went throughout my day feeling okay. Have been letting her call me through out the week. After I got off of work I had school so I get to class at night but I was late. I have to be honest with myself I haven't done anything for the class. I have to drop the it b/c with all this drama in my life I have not been able to focus on what really matters. I talk to my cousin, he like a few people just told me to go with the flow. It's easier said then done. So I just had dinner with my friend and then went to my friend's house to watch the game. It was about 9:45 when the game ended so just went home. I laid in bed watching TV it was about 10:30pm she had not called yet so I though I cannot make all the effort so I just went to sleep. I woke up about 11:15pm and looked at my phone and it was ringing. It was her. Okay I got excited so I picked up. I was like hello? She said were you asleep I said no and she replied yeah right. So we talked until 12:00 about her and her daughter and work. She was doing some work and she was asking of some help as well like always. I finally struck 12:00 and she said well it's late and im tired of writing this. I'm going to go to bed so I said okay and we told each other good night. This morning I woke up and called her to say good morning to her and her daughter. So the day starts all over again but each day I get a little stronger. Also today is officially one week since I have checked any of her things. Its tuff but I would much rather not know who she I talking to. I am proud of myself that I was able to keep my promise.

Just writing to clear my head. Advise is always welcomed and needed too. My gut feeling is that everything is going to be okay between the both of us its just a matter of time, i can feel it. On the other hand patience is a virtue and lets just says im not doing too good inside. I know what i have to do which is go with the flow and let her reach out to me and stop making unless efforts to get her back. If its meant to be it will happen, right now i have to focus on me.

Yesterday after going through my ups and downs I found a forum which was very helpful. It's by SuperDave. Basically I cannot do anything about the relationship and that's true. I could try doing all sorts of amazing and spectacular things to get her back but that's not going to change anything. As much as I want to give her the stars I cannot. If i did its not going to change a damn thing. After talking to her yesterday morning (she called) and the afternoon (I called). It was okay but then I got home. I kept busy for a while and then it was about 8:00 and no call from her yet. Yeah I know I shouldn't be waiting. I got a call from her about 9:45; she asked me if she could use me in her daughter's emergency card I was like of course. We chatted and then she put me on hold for about two min. then she clicked over and said I had completely forgotten you were on the line so she hung up with her sister. Was it her sister? I don't know. Can I check to see if she is talking to that guy yes I can but why do that to myself. Im proud of myself b/c I have not checked in almost a week. I called her this morning and her daughter picked up and I talked to her to wish her a good day in school then I talked to her. It was okay it feels like nothing has change between us. I know I shouldn't have called but I did. Now it she want to call me later cool if not then all i can do is nothing...

SuperDave you are giving some awesome advice. Just reading makes me realize that i cannot do anything about the situation. What do you suggest when you you care so much for this girl but all we are now are friends which i get the feeling is changing. If you could read my forum and provide some feed back it would be much appreciated. link removed Thanks!

Why do i feel like i wont ever find anyone like her. The way she looks how she treated me and the love she has or had for me. I dont want to look for anyone else. Today I had a dream that i went to her house I opened her door and she was going at it with another guy. I closed the door and asked my friends to take me home. After a block or two I yelled take me back so they did. I was walking to her room when i noticed the light was on in the rest room. I opened the door and she had just finished throwing up and I asked who is that she whispered my boyfriend and I woke up. (Alarm) Everything is going okay between us we are having a good time together but i still cant stop thinking about her and us. Why am I so scared to let it go and why do i feel so good to hug her at night? Why is she letting me stay the night? Why does she let me hold her for the entire night? Why does she le me scratch her head and back, Lock my legs with hers at night? Why are we still together physically? Why does she let me take her places and spend time with her and her daughter? Why, why when she knows that i love her so much?

I know im getting my hopes up but i have to try. Last night I was out to lunch with my friend and then she called me. I had asked if she wanted to go to the park earlier that day and she told me she was taking care of her daughter's things for school tomorrow. I said okay. So later in the day she calls me and asks me what im doing i said I just got done eating with my friend, she responded with an ahhh I was hungry. So she asked if i still wanted to go to the park and I agreed but i need to drop my friend off. So i showed up at her house picked her and her daughter up and went to the park. We watched her daughter ride her bike around until it got dark. I dropped her off at her house after but I stayed there. She got her daughter ready for school and then told me she was going to put her to bed. This whole time i was playing with her daughter. I left and went home feeling sad but okay. She did not call me the rest of the night. I woke up today got ready for work and checked my phone. I had a missed call from her. So I returned the call she told me her daughter wanted to say hello but she was in class already. We chatted for a little while and i told her i would give her a call at lunch she was like okay. Im feeling okay with a little bit of hope but i know that I cannot get my hopes up too much just in case it doesn't work out or if in reading her wrong..

Labor Day I can't believe the week is already over. Interesting things happened this week well for one she called me on Friday which I posted earlier. Saturday night I had plans with a friend but then she called. My sister told me not to pick up the phone so I didn't. She called again I picked up and well I canceled my plans for her. I told my sis and she told me why don't you just get back with her. I replied I would if I could. I went to her house went grocery shopping and she gave me money that she owed me. Later we got some food and took it back to her house. Watched a movie and then went to sleep. I hugged her all night with interruptions in between because it would get too hot. We woke up and got ready and went see her cousin fight. After we walked around the park then went to her house. I stayed for a while and then left. I made plans to go else where and kept them this time. I got home after bummed because I don't want to base my happiness on someone else. I called yeah I did. She didn't pick up but called later that night. She was at her friend's house I said okay. I sound asleep because I was. Then we got off the phone. She called me later about 12 to tell me she found the money she had lost. We talked and I was like can I come over and spend the night because too many things are happening here at my house. She was you don't have to make excuses you know you want to come over. She said okay. I showed up at her house and shortly after we went to sleep I was going to scratch her back but she's like let me scratch yours. I agreed, and then I returned the favor. She has been leaving her phone in the room when she leaves the room to get ready for bed or just leaves the room something she has not been doing. I want her back but I guess all I can do is wait and she what happens and write about it to release my frustration.

Im sorry to hear thats going on in your life. I know that pain all to well. You can read my situation if you like. link removed I dont know why i get so desperate at work to call her, constantly wondering what she is doing and if she's going to call me. I feel like I can't breathe I can't think of anything else but her and why it's over. I can't help feeling like this. For the two weeks I could not eat which caused me to lose 10 pounds. I feel the same way and wish I could take something to make the pain go away or to forget her. I keep checking my phone to see if she has called. I know I shouldnt talk to her and just leave her alone but I cannot because I want her back so bad no matter if she is screwing around or not. I don't want to sit and wait like a dummy but that's all I seem to want to do. I think to myself that I don't I will loose her. I have decided not to contact her if she wants to talk or chill she knows how to get a hold of me. Friends have suggested changing my number but I don't want to because I still want her to call me. I want to move on to make the pain go away but I keep holding on. If it's truly over change your number so he cannot get a hold of you and you won't wonder if he will call. I know it's hard but maybe that's what you have to do so you won't give yourself hope. Why don't you give me your opinion on my situation? It helps me when I try to give advice to other people because it take the focus off of me and it helps me to understand what going on in my life. Hang in there!

Its Saturday and im doing okay. I woke up this morning and i can honestly say i was tripping. I was thinking of going to her house and chilling there but i just called one of my friends to snap back into reality. After I decided to go back to sleep to forget but i couldnt so I got up to take care of some things. Telling myself that I deserve better. I called my friend which lives about 30 min away and decided to visit him. As i was driving she called me. Now remember I have not called her since Wendsday night but we talked yesterday which she called me. We talked about random things and made plans for her daughter's bday. We talked for about an hour on the phone and then hung up. So i finally got to my friends house had a beer and chilled, not tripping just having a good time. Im very proud of myself because I have not checked her calls which in reality will hurt me even more. im not saying i wasnt tempted to do so but i made a decision to stop. I have also decided that im not going to call anymore if she wants to talk she will call me but i will not make that effort. Now im not going to treat her bad but im putting the ball in her court so I can move on.. Why is it so difficult to move on and break ties? Why are we suckers and think that the whole world is going to end? Why do we fear we won't ever find anyone else and being alone?

Well just to give an update and to express what im feeling inside im going to write what happened after work today. I felt work wanting to call my ex "friend" so im taking my co-worker home having an NC mentality but dying on the inside you know what i mean. I got a missed call from her then it rang again as I was taking my co-worker home. I decided not to pick up. After I dropped him off I looked at my phone and yes I gave in and returned the call. It was not that bad well maybe, FEEDBACK NEED PLEASE. She is having a really hard time at work and her boss but her down calling her names as she was telling me she was crying saying how she did not get paid and how she does not have any money. So i listened and supported her giving my advice and thinking inside well why dont call youre "FRIEND" and tell him youre a** is broke! but I didnt. As we were talking she got a letter about some money she was expecting well needless to say it might not come so she just broke down again on the phone and told me I have to go I cant talk and hung the phone up. I called a few minutes later (mistake maybe im a dummy for caring) and asked if she wanted to do something to take her mind off the problems well she said no I just feel like being home with her daughter I repeated and she snapped at me and i said i was only trying to help and she apologized and said i know your only trying to help but i dont feel like doing anything. I just said okay and we hung up. So much for my NC but I do feel a lil better inside.

Yes I know im becoming something that I never was in our relationship. She tells me that he is just a friend and she does not want to worry about a relationship at the moment. Only she really knows why she still wants me there but im realizing what a fool I have become. I'm trying NC from now on. god i know im going to want to pick up the phone if she calls. Thanks for the advice, my friend was right it does help to write out your pain and frustrations.

Breaking up is one of the worst pains I have ever felt in my life. I'm just starting NC. I know it's easier said than done but everyone is telling me it will get easier through time. I just wanted to forward that to you which im sure you've heard time and time again. In regards to your question. Have you considered buying a card and writing in it instead of calling her. That way it's not awkward for her and It wont screw you up in the inside by getting your emotions all worked up for the good or bad. I hope you make the decision based on what you feel inside.[/img]

Thanks for the advice; I think im driving everyone around me crazy because that's all I talk about. Within the first week of us breaking up I made plans with her like to go to a couple of concerts and even to Disneyland for her daughter's birthday. She did not hesitate to say yes to the events. Well like I wrote earlier after we went to the beach everything "friendship" was going good. The following day I got into her voice mail and heard the messages this guy has been leaving. The most recent one was the one he left when we went to the beach. It said he just got off of work and that he wanted to talk to her but he is going to sleep and that she will be in his dreams. I was so upset so recorded the message and sent it to her and played if off on how I came to obtain it. Well she hear it and she called me back furious telling me that I got into her VM so she got on the phone with customer service and she changed her password. Through out the day she did not call me so I called her later that night and she was wondering how I got into her VM. It turns out that she did not have a code so anyone could have accessed it but she asked me why I sent it to her. I told her we are still cool friends I didn't think nothing of it and I just wanted to let her know what happened. I told her you have a right to talk to who ever you want but I did not ask her about the message. She said she did not care if I heard it but why did I not keep it to myself. I explained I did not think nothing of it since we are still good friends. Well in all reality I wanted to get a reaction from her. In a way to let her know that I know what she it doing. Im prode of what I did not now its out in the open, I still think maybe I shouldnt of sent it to her. Yesterday I did not talk to her during the day nor did she attempt to call me, I was going crazy as if I was coming down on some drug because I wanted to call her. I gave in so I called at 11:30 twice and no answer. I'm attempting the NC but it's extremely hard because im scared of loosing her and our friendship too. But I cannot be the one who calls all the time. This is day two of not talking to her but I keep checking my phone just incase I get a call from her. I know I haven't tried NC but im trying I just don't know what to do it she calls, that's if she does. I seriously need help and I thank everyone's advice which I know will help me get through this.

This is my first time on this website. I guess I am looking for answers myself. Well it's almost been three week since my girlfriend broke up with me (Aug. 12, 2005) we have broken up about three times before 2 by her and one by me a few months ago. Well I thought everything was going fine in our life I was really attempting to make it work this time when she broke the news to me. She said she loves me a lot but she is not in love with me anymore. As she was telling me she was crying pleading me to still be in her life and her daughter's life. She was telling me that she did not know how she felt and so she asked me how I felt. I told her it doesn't make a difference anymore but I still love her. So we decided to stay friends. Inside I have been dying I cant stop thinking about her, I can't eat (I'm getting a lil better), I also lost 10 pounds. I haven't been able to work or do anything normal. For the first week I was calling her in the morning to say good morning, I would call her at lunch. She would call me after work as well. She told me I was trying too hard and she said to just let it happen "the friendship, we were good friends before" I was still going over her house I would spend the night and she would let me hold her at night. Well on one occasion we were together which I though things were going to change. After we stopped she immediately told me I hope you know this does not change anything, which broke my heart even more. I did not stop we would hang out and together having a good time. I would wake up early in the morning on the weekend and go to her house she was still sleeping so I would lay and hold her. We were together one time, she provoked it. Later we hung out all day and night and like at three in the morning she again told me that she hopes im not getting mixed emotions that everything is still the same. One thing I did not mention is that I caught sneaking her phone in her purse and also I heard her on the phone while she was "getting ready for bed" in the restroom. I confronted her and asked her if she was seeing another person, because I would back off and give them time to get to know each other. She said no he is just friends and that she would never think about dating him. I told her I trusted her. I have been trying to keep my distance by not going to her house everyday plus she said she also need space. We were still talking on the phone everyday. About a week ago I found out that she was talking to the same person in the morning after noon and also at night after we get off the phone. I also found out that she started to talking to him about 12 days before she broke up with me and two days before she broke up with me she was on the phone with him after 10 for over 90min. I have been asking her questions and I also brought up the number and she denies that she knows that number. I also tell her that i called for example 11:30 at night when she was on the phone with him and say I just got a busy signal which means you were on the phone. She says that her phone has been acting weird but she was in the shower. She doesn't want to admit it, I have also said I know your talking to some one already and she denies everything that they are just friends and that she hasn't talk to him in a few days which she lied because they talked that same day. I have been going crazy she has the right to talk to who ever she wants even if it's late at night but she keeps on denying it. I talk to her seriously one day and told her I wanted to get back together and that I would love to marry her. I asked if she wanted to marry me and she said she would like to but she does not want to worry about anything right now and she just wants to have fun. So I kept hope. A few days ago we went to the beach because she did not have her daughter and we had a good time. Her phone rang about 11 but she did not pick up. I dropped her off at her house but I was tired to drive home so I asked to crash the night and she said of course. I was waiting in the room for her which took about 15 min. Then we went to bed "same bed". We talked as I rubbed he back, we were together that night again. After she told me you are not going to get over it like this. I asked do you mind what just happened and she said no and I also asked do you want me to get over it. She replied for you not for me. So the next day I found out that during those 15 min she checked her voice mail and called him and spent 9 min out of the 15 talking to him. Like I said it's almost been three week and im hurting inside I know I have to let her go but I love her so much that I want to still be her friend. It's hard because I don't want to let her go because I keep giving myself hope that I can win her back. I starting to deal with it attempting to let her go but it hurts so much. What should I do? I apologize if some of this doesn't make sense. I wrote it in a hurry during work.