Cindy11

Hi everyone, I hope everyone is doing good and hanging in there. I'm back from the best vacation I have ever had. It was unbelievably fun. I had a wonderful week but it went by pretty fast. On the first day, I met a guy who is totally crazy about me. We spent everyday together. No sex. He's a wonderful man that lives not too far away from me. I explained to him that I'm not interested in getting serious because of my breakup and he is aware that I'm seeing someone already. He totally understood and supports my decisions. The point is that I have let go of my ex and I thank god everyday that I am where I am today. I keep saying to myself "what was I thinking". I realized that there was so much that was wrong with my previous relationship. I also realized that I, too, have made mistakes and if I were to ever talk to him, I will take full responsibility and apologize to him. I certainly do not want to go back to him. I just think it's the right thing to do. Thanks for all of your support and I look forward to reading the posts. I will keep you posted.

Let's see .... it's been five weeks of NC for me. Today, I am going on a cruise for a week and I am getting pretty excited. I haven't been really thinking about my ex in that last 2 weeks. I realize on a daily basis that he's not the one for me ... he's certainly not my "soulemate". I've been reading most of the posts and wanted to tell you guys that it will absolutely get better. You just have to give it time. I've been dating here and there and it's been good. There is a guy that I told you about in my last posting ... he's crazy about me. But I know I don't feel the same way as he does, at least not now. As they say, don't put your eggs in one basket. Well, I'm not going to jump into another relationship right now because I am really enjoying the single life. You guys just have to get out there and start going out with friends or even date once in a while. Believe me, you will realize that your ex is not worth it. Take care and I will be back on the 10th.

It's been 31 days with NC. I've had my ups and downs. The longer we don't talk, the better it is. It made me realize that my ex has major issues that are impossible to work out. Even if he met someone else, he will have the same issues. It would take years of counselling. Yesterday, I went on a blind date. A friend of mine has been wanting me to go out with this guy for about 1 1/2 years ago and, of course, I said no because I was with my ex at the time. He was so frustrated with me because he knew I was not very happy and new that this guy is everything I was looking for and vice versa. He has told him so much about me in the last three years but no chance of getting together because both of our situations. I met him for coffee in the morning and I could not believe it. Major chemistry and major connection. It's like we knew each other for a very very long time. We only met for 45 minutes and he wanted to see me last night as well. Of course, I said yes. We went to dinner and a movie and it was unbelievable. I did not think about my ex once. He is very sincere, nurturing, caring, successful, smart man with a Harvard degree. I feel like I'm Cinderlla. I spent the night at his house in the same bed cuddling and talking all night long and that was it ... no sex. We only got 2 hours of sleep. When I woke up this morning, we had breaksfast in bed that he made. This is too good to be true. I am a big believer in THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON and always have been. For those of you that are still heart broken, remember that your breakup happened for a reason. There is a MUCH BETTER person out there for you. I am not saying that I am over my ex and I am sure that there will be times when I will still be sad ... I'm ok and I will get through this on my own. He wants to see me again tonight. It all sounds great but I have my guard up and he knows it. Will I see him? Absolutely! I am not going to stay home and think about my ex. I need to move on with my life. I hope you all can come to that point where you realize that your breakup happened for a reason and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to believe it and everything will follow. The ex will call and I will completely ignore him and that makes me feel so good. Good luck everyone and stay strong. I will keep you posted.

I wrote a letter to my ex yesterday but didn't send it. After reading it a couple of times, I realized it's not worth it anymore. So the letter does help. It helps to open you up and get a lot of anger that's built up out. I highly recommend that you write this letter but DON'T send it. When you read it several times, you'll understand what I'm talking about. Good luck.

Going on four weeks of NC I had dinner at this guy's house. He made dinner for me, which I thought it was sweet of him, but it was also too soon. I would have rather gone out than have him cook dinner for me. He had candles lit all around the house. It wasn't very uncomfortable. I realized that he wanted to be a romantic dinner but it was too much. Anyways, the dinner was ok and realized that we really didn't have much in common. Oh, and of course, I kept on comparing him to my ex. I'm sitting there thinking in my head, "my ex would do this different, my ex would act different, my ex wouldn't do this or that, etc." After dinner, we watched a movie and I was so emotionally drained that I told him that I was tired and that I should go home. He was ok with it and he asked me if I wanted to do something on Saturday night. I told him that I did not know. He said to let him know if I wanted to do something. The next day, I sent him an email thanking him for dinner and that was it. For some reason chemistery vanished. Obviously that's because I'm not over my ex. All I did was cry and cry. I couldn't stand what was happening or how I was feeling. I felt like the date set me back. A friend of mine called me today and asked if I would be interested in meeting this great guy blah blah. I said hey, why not. So tomorrow morning I'm having coffee with him. We'll see. I feel like I have to force myself to go out and do things. I do get asked alot to go on dates but I turn them down. I feel like I'm just not ready. I hate my ex for he's done!

FCT, thanks so much for the great posts. I must have read them at least 5 times. They definitely help alot. I will continue to read them when I'm feeling down. Again, thanks so much.

You can't control who she hangs out with. It is your ex's fault for allowing this woman to control every move she makes. She will eventually see what this woman is doing to her. I don't know when, but it will happen. When that happens, be prepared. She might come back knocking on your door. I don't want to give you false hopes but at the same time, I hope you will be strong enough to tell her that it's over. I hope the tip will work tonight and I hope you will not have any bad or good dreams of her. I, too, am very frustrated.

I will remember the will thing I honestly don't know what a woman means by needing space. My needing space is "me" time. I never said to a man that I need space. I say "me" time which means I like to spend time alone giving myself pedicure, manicure, facial, etc. To me, I would think space means time to think about the relationship. I am not sure if it could be a cop out to end the relationship slowly. I honestly don't know. I remember my ex saying long time ago that maybe we need some time apart to analyze things. He has told me this many times "never say never". So I have a feeling he's still thinking that. I don't know .... this whole break up thing confuses me. Sorry, I don't think I helped.

I understand exactly what you're going through about the NC. I don't understand it either. People in here highly advise it so I figure hey, it must help. As far as having nightmares, I am not sure if this will help you or not but it has certainly helped me tremendously. Before I fall asleep, I try not to think about him and say to my "no more bad dreams" several times. I know this sounds weird but let me tell you that it really does help me and I hope it helps you as well. Try it and let me know if it works. Take care of yourself.

Hi guys, My advice is to box them up and mail their things. My ex and I broke up a month ago and he boxed everything up and mailed them to me. Man o man did that kill to see the package. Whatever you do, don't leave it on the door step. That's another form of contact. I highly recommend that you box everything and mail it. Good luck.

Well tomorrow it will be a month since my boyfriend and I broke up and three weeks of NC. What a killer! I am sad and I am very lonely. I keep wondering if my ex is going to call me. I've been trying to keep busy but doesn't help much. I even tried the on-line dating thing for the first time and met one guy last Saturday night at Starbucks. There was major chemistry on both parts. We both were very honest. He knows my situation and he's obviously fine with it. He couldn't understand why I didn't have a boyfriend and so I wanted to be honest with him. We had coffee and both decided to go out afterwards. We went to an intimate bar. We spent about 5 hours together. For some reason, we were like magnets. We were both very physically attracted to each other but knew we really couldn't do much about it. Anyways, he called me on Sunday and invited me over for dinner on Tuesday ... I accepted. He wanted to cook for me. The thing is I am very attracted to this guy which I find it amazing because I am still in love with my ex and want him back so bad. Are my feelings wrong? Should I hold off and wait before I start dating. I read in here about how everyone advises other people to go out even on dates. I have to admit, I feel like I am cheating. Is this normal? My friends keep telling me that the day I move on is the day my ex is going to contact me. If and when that happens, they told me that I should be prepared. I wish I could just forget him. I know I have so much to offer but I also know that I am offering it to the wrong man that can't give me what I want in life. It's not like I'm asking for the world.

A friend of mine emailed the following to me and thought it would be a great idea sharing this with all of you. so here it goes.... Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two 1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you. 2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. 3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. 5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them. 6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you. 9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. 10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around. 12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you. 13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

It's been 3 weeks now with no contact. My medication has been helping me tremendously. I don't feel so depressed and anxious. I've been going counselling and that has also helped. It's been extremely hard having to adjust to a different life. Before, I used to travel a lot with my ex. We have been to wonderful places and there are lots of memories and now zero travel. The other day, I was checking my computer for recent pictures of myself and I ran into bunch of pictures of him and us a... that didn't bother me. I looked at them and said I miss him and love him but that's all I can say. I know he loves me and misses me and wants to be with me but I also know that he doesn't think he can give me what I want. He has told me that several times times but the meaning hit me recently. One of my friends says that's a cop out. It's not that he doesn't think he can give me what I want, it's that he doesn't want to give me what I want. That may be true but I truly believe that he will wake up one day and realize that he lost the best thing that has and will ever happen to him. If he should call, I will not take his calls. I have to move on with my life. I'm not going to force finding someone but if it happens, that's great and if does not, that's great too. I just have to learn to live alone and be ok with it. So far so good. For those of you who have recently broken up, I can honestly tell you that time heals all wounds. It will get better and you'll get stronger. The no contact is the most important part of trying to get over your ex. Hang in there. I can't say that I am 100% fine because I'm not. I still have a long way to go. I don't feel tempted to call him and that makes me feel great. Thanks for all your support and I will keep you posted.

Well it's been 2 weeks and 2 days ... but who's counting? It's been soooooo hard to deal with all this breakup. I've been going out with friends and trying to keep busy. I've been asked to go out several times but declined. I don't feel comfortable at this point to go out on a date. I miss him so much and I wonder why doesn't he call? Does he miss me? I guess I'll never get the answers to my question and they keep popping up. I've been doing great so far not contacting him. Although, I almost did couple of days ago but I stopped myself. What I would give to forget him. I've also been taking one of the medications. I think it's been helping. The other one I cannot take because it makes me feel weird. I believe he left today for Germany for about a week for business (I was supposed to go with him but he decided to make it a guy trip as well) ... this is suppose to be a very busy month for him. I keep thinking that when he's not so busy, then he'll have time to think about me. It's just hard. I know I can't be with him because I'll never be a priority or #1 because of everything else in his life. But damn it! I love him! Thanks for all your support. I really do appreciate it.

It's been very hard ... I've been an emotional wreck. I went to see a psychiatrist yesterday. We talked for an hour and he came to the conclusion that I definitely need something to calm me down and to help me deal with what's been going on. He prescribed two different prescriptions. One will start working in about 1-2 weeks and the other one starts working right away. All I have been doing is crying and making the wrong judgments. The other day, I drove down the wrong way on a one way street. I cannot believe how this has affected me. I decided to go visit friends in another state for the Labor Day weekend. Right before I flew, I took both medications and it did help. I feel stable, calm ... I didn't think about him as much during my flight. If I did, it was negative thoughts. Maybe it is helping. I can't stand the fact that I have to take something to help me cope. All I know is I have to live day by day and I know he's not the one for me but it's hard. It's hard not knowing if he, too, is miserable. I only hope he is. I know alot of you think it doesn't matter if he is or not but I just want to know. Hopefully, that thought would fade away soon. I know I have a lot to offer. My friends, co-workers and even strangers tell me that I am a great catch. They think I have it all. They all envy me but they don't know what's on the inside.