captain

What do I do? I mean, how do I act with her now when she talks to me? I don't want to push her away, but at the same time I don't want it to seem like i'm not hurting and I certainly dont want her to think I dont care.

Hey I've been with my girlfriend for about 5 months now, shes a college student and i'm training to be a pilot. We met online, but we have been online friends for almost 3yrs. We've been really good together, we've had a good solid relationship, we spoke about everything and we really looked out for eachother. I spent new year with her and her family and I got on with them all so well... But recently my girlfriend seemed really quiet and she was getting sarcy with me and when we spoke online she would just say 'hmm' or 'mmm' alot and not really talk about how she felt..etc I was getting frustrated because of her lack of talking and got annoyed on a few occasions. I really didn't mean to, I just wanted her to talk to me and tell me what was wrong. This evening we ended up arguing and she said that she has been quiet because sometimes shes scared of making me angry when she gives her opinion or disagrees with me. I apologised as I didn't realise she felt that way but she said a break might help us get on better. I went through the usual questions 'is there someone else.. don't you want to be with me anymore'..etc and she said she does want me and theres nobody else. I don't usually get angry with her if her opinion differs, the only time I get worried (which sometimes appears like im annoyed) is if she says something I feel might affect our relationship, but we always work through it in the end. I always tell her that I want to be her wall of stregth and if she feels down then she can talk to me no matter what it is. I always reassure her that i'm there for her, even if its about me, I will listen to her and work through anything with her, so I don't fully understand why she has become so reserved now. I'm pretty sure she really wants this break, but its tearing me to bits for the simple reason that I love her with all my heart. She took my virginity and I took hers too. I did it with her because I truly love her and I saw my future with her. Now i'm scared because i'm worried this 'break' might end up being the end.

Hey, I'm so glad that you understand how I feel! I think I got quite upset for the shear fact that nothings gone right for me over the last 2 weeks and to find out that her PC isnt working was just topping off a bad 2 weeks for me. She miss called me last night (as she had no credit) and I called her back, she said her mother was about to reinstall windows. She said that we will be okay regardless to what happens. I got a text from her this afternoon (off of her bro's phone) saying that their PC still isnt working, but she told me that she will tell me what they are going to do when I phone her this evening. I don't know if she has a local library, but I do know that she goes to a college course a few days each week and she may e-mail me from there if she gets the time to. I wrote her a letter last night and sent it this morning, atleast to get the ball rolling on that form of communication.

Hey, I do think it's a little too soon to start a relationship with him. My current g/f, I met online. However, I actually knew her for 4yrs online before we decided to get together. I'm 21 now and my g/f is 19. I just felt that it was probably a good idea to wait because we got to learn more about eachother as the years went by (although sometimes we do wish we got together alot sooner) All I can really say is, take your time and get to know him more. Once you have done that then you should have a better idea of how you feel and also be able to figure out if persuing a relationship with him is what you really want.

No, i'm not pestering her. She doesn't understand much about computers and can only do things with my advice and guidance. I wouldn't say I was overreacting to the situation. We are accustomed to talking each evening and I am just a little worried that as we will lack alot of contact now, she might end up looking for attention else where?

Okay, I tried calling her but she didn't answer. I text her, but I think she might already be trying to reinstall windows. If that don't work i'll tell her to call NTL and see if they are having connection or network problems. So her losing the net might be a blessing in disguise? How is that possible? We usually talk Monday - Friday in the evenings. We rarely talk on the weekends because she is out. I miss her very much and this is only the first evening. I am just a little cautious that now we can't talk every night, she will eventually become distanced?

Yeah, I was thinking of writting letters! Seems logical. So we could write letters, speak on the phone (though we're limited to that due to the phone bill) and text (but she hasnt got any credit until 2 weeks monday) yeah I see what you mean, but I was just thinking, if we can't talk everyday, will it not cause alot of problems for us? I certainly hope it doesn't.

Hi, Yeah she has broadband! I am only on dialup so im not sure how it works. However she told me she tried taking the lead out of the computer (and turned the box off for a while) and put the lead back in, turned the box on and it still wouldn't work. Is that what you was referring to?

Hi, Well, me and my g/f have been ironing out the problems we've had recently and we've been getting on okay, however we've come to a new problem, which is really no-ones fault. This evening she told me her computer isnt working properly. Whenever she tries to get online she gets a 'cannot find server' page come up in IE. Her MSN messenger won't work because the computer thinks its offline. Shes tried various things, including taking the broadband lead out and plugging it back in again...etc and none of it seems to have worked (although shes still currently trying things as I type this) Her last resort would be to reinstall windows. I spent 45mins talking to her on the phone giving her different ideas and nothing was working. However, if this doesnt work, how can we maintain communication? She lives in Liverpool and I live in Cornwall. I love her to bits and I really want this to work out even if her PC stops working. She said she won't break up with me, but i'm really cautious because she doesnt have credit for the next 2 weeks as she wont get paid until then, and i'm worried that if her PC don't work we will lack contact. I try to call her as much as possible but the phone bill is always a concern. Is there any ideas how we can maintain contact if her PC does stop working for good? I really hope you guys can help me as this has got me feeling so down and I don't really want to lose my g/f P.S I'd like to apologise for the poor spelling of communication, in the title.

Hey, Thank you for the replies. I have taken a step back from things since she said about the fact that she wants us to be all joking and laughing. I have been happy and joking with her, but I have also left her to make the moves. For example, as she was going offline last night I left it until she said 'love you' first, and I also didn't text her today until she text me. Do you think that i'm doing the right thing? Next week I am going to visit my dad in London for a while. He doesnt have a computer, which means that we will only be able to text eachother (as she doesnt want me to call her anymore until shes ready again) Do you think that this will help the situation, or could this worsen things? Regarding the fact that I think I may have cancer, I will be finding out from my doctor tomorrow. I am worried about it, and I told my g/f about it last week. She hasnt mentioned it since and didn't seem very bothered by it. I said to her on monday that i've got doctors on thursday and she said 'good' and that was it. I have been worried for 2 weeks about this, but she has added the pressure of 'taking a step back' I would feel so much better and trust her if she had not said something a while back. A few weeks ago she said 'You wouldn't even know if I had done anything with anyone anyway' It really put a pressure on me and made me very insecure. I would never say that to a partner, what reason would I have? Anyway, i'm doing as suggested, i'm trying to be strong on the outside, eventhough i'm torn to pieces on the inside. Thank you

Well, as most of you know me and my gf are in a long distance relationship. We both have been fairly insecure about different things. Shes always insecure because I have female friends online, and I am insecure because of the attention she attracts from guys when out clubbing. Anyway, she asked me if I would promise not to tell her when im talking to another person online, and she also requested that I make sure my female friends know im with her (which they already do) I agreed to this, but in return she didnt give me anything to feel secure about her clubbing and the attention she receives. Well, tonight was rather odd. We spoke this evening and she said that we need to cool things abit. That we need to return to how we were when we first got together. She mentioned that she loves and cares for me, but also said she isnt in love with me (I asked a friend of mine about this, but she said she thinks my g/f is denying her feelings?) I was supposed to go and see her for my birthday in June, but she said we should wait and also added that I shouldn't call her just yet. She said that she won't mess around with guys when she is out, but wants us to be all fun and jokey like we were when we first got together. She also said she wants me to see a counsellor for my insecurity. I was thinking about this anyway, I have a doctors appointment on thursday and I will ask her then, i'm also a little cautious that I may have cancer, which is why I originally booked the appointment with my doctor (which if true, will put an end to my days flying planes) My gf knows this, but sadly shes gone and put this pressure on me too. I just feel quite sad though, i'm scared that next week she might change her mind and be all like 'well, I dont want to be with you now' I want to be able to be all fun and joking, so that things can progress nicely, but I just feel so low that things have gone like this. How can I addapt to how she wants things to be when I feel torn? What do you all think? I know im partly to blame, but I dont think this is all my fault. She says shes happier now and that she is sorry for hurting me, but I don't know, some of the things she said were so harsh. So what do you all think, is this all over and we're holding on to nothing, or is there still hope? I really want this all to work out, but with my luck i've got a feeling i'm going to be very heart broken, if im not already.

Yes most likely Cheers

Guess I should correct this now, and tell you she said she didnt mean it and that she didnt want to lose me. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate the help i've received in this topic. I just hope I can some day resolve all this.

Im just curious, but whats so great about trying to get drunk?

Hi Thanks for the advice, but she decided she doesnt want to be with me anymore. She got really angry with me this evening and said it was over. So i'd just like to say thank you for your advice, I really appreciate your help.