ragtop2003

I agree you need to stay away from him, things will only continue in the same pattern. He knows he can do this to you and you'll take it everytime. As hard as it is, you need to put your foot down and say no. Nobody who truly loves the other person is going to do those things to the one they love.

It seems all too common that people (especially those who are in their early-mid twenties) who have a long term relationship get to a point where they are all to comfortable with each other and someone starts to wonder, what else is out there or if" the grass is greener on the other side" and guess what- it never really is. Well he certainly does still have feelings for you, but keep in mind you two have split up twice that's a lot for anyone to take. He is definitely afraid of the same thing happening for the third time. It does take time for someone to heal from a break-up, he may very well be still in vulnerable state and doesn't want take a chance on going all the way back down to where he started. I know if my ex called me up right now she would have to prove without a doubt she wants to be with me 100% and she's ready to spend the rest of her life with me. See for me, my ex and I have been together for 6 years, and lived together for 5 years and were engaged( we got engaged @ x-mas). There is a lot to my story so I won't get too deep. I'm going thru the same torture; trying to go on and meet new people and not sit around, but your wondering all the time. How long is it going to take for them to come around?

I would suggest NC , let him have some time without you. If you are always around/available then you will be put on the back burner, and be much less desirable. It sucks to have NC especially if they are seeing someone else because you think if you out of contact then your out of mind, I know I'm going thru this with my ex right now. I started the NC about 10 days ago myself so I could heal and also to let her see what it's really like to not have me at her beck and call.

Jewelz, I don't know how long they were split up, but I guarantee that he wasn't over his ex . They did have 1 1/2 years together , which is enough time to build a true bond with someone. Yes you two made each other happy for the time you were together, but for a short period of time. You two were together for 2 months so you were in the "New" or "Exciting" stage, especially if you are spending so much time together. I'm not trying to make light of your situation by any means, I know it hurts- just trying to help you understand what happened/whats going on. I would have to agree with smallworld's post there are unknown variables that would determine if it's going to work out with his ex.

My situation is a long story but it is similar to the ones in this post. I am going thru the same thing with my ex-fiance right now. We have been together for 6 years(got engaged@x-mas) and she left me 2 mos ago and is now seeing a loser at her work.See he tells her all the right things like " oh your beautiful, sexy, oh how he could understand why anyone would want to wait to marry you, you need to leave that guy" Doing nothing but making her feel insecure about our relationship and making her angry at me. He's a manipulator. My ex fell head over heals for me and absolutely loved and adored me, all she'd ever talk about was how she wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, have a family, grow old together, how she would never leave me, how I was good for her and good to her.But when she left she also felt that I wouldn't completely open up to her, at times not give her the attention she needed,which seemed to push her away. She at times felt like I didn't want to marry her since it took so long for us to get engaged and because it took me almost 2mos to set a date. Well wedding, honeymoons, new houses cost money and it takes some time to save up for that, but she doesn't believe I really was doing that. So now she gives some bogus line that she doesn't feel the same and that she wants to move on. But see when women get emotional or want to argue, fight,get mad means they still care and they have feelings they are trying to fight. So if your ex is getting flustered there is a reason why. You see my ex tells her brothers GF that she can still picture herself settling down and having a family with me. Go figure. She wants me to stay away but will call me with some excuse like "I need to come by and get the rest of my things" or " I need to get the money for the cell bill"( we shared a family plan).[ They call with an excuse just to talk to you or see you, their testing the waters- seeing how you are going to react.] Or she called me this morning and said "are spending Mothers day your mom?" I said yes,then she says "well I plan to spend the day with my mom and I know you've been going to the same church". I said " no I would not and that I was going to spend the day with my mom" I then told her I had to go and ended the call. See she got mad at me for interfering in her life by talking to her family and friends and going to the same church as her parents. She felt like she couldn't live her life. Well the funny thing is her parents LOVE me and both her parents and her friends contacted me and they have been telling her she is making a big mistake on their own accord and that she is just "in love with something new, and that when the new wears off she going realize she screwed up and want to run back to me". I have told all of them to leave her be, that she needs to go out here and find out the grass isn't greener on the other side and that she could really lose me. But she feels like I am the one ganging them up on her. Like I can't move on, and that my friend is the worst thing, if they feel like they can have you at anytime they want, they lose respect for you and don't want you. NC is the best thing- make them wonder for a while.

I have to agree that 2 mos is not long. It takes a while to develop real love with someone, it took me almost a year to truly be in-love with my ex( that is a long story in its self) . At first your feeling a "chemistry" or "newness" with the other person, which is that high you feel when your around or think of that person. If your having the break up/ make up ordeal this early you need to do what kskm says, back off and give the girl a break. Trust me crowding a girl is the worst thing you can do.